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Just Saw "Narnia"...it Sucked
n/a | 12-27-05 | Bob J

Posted on 12/27/2005 11:28:47 AM PST by Bob J

After reading all the hype in the media and on FR, I was excited to see the film of the CS Lewis book. I have to say I was disappointed. For all it's grandiosity and provenance, I found it clunky, sometimes difficult to follow and worse, unbelieveable (even a "fantasy" movie must reasonable enough in the story and behavior of it's characters to hurdle the initial "willing suspension of disbelief")

The religious basis and backdop to the story has been argued at length on FR, so let's leave that at the doorstep and discuss it's cinematic achievements, or lack thereof.

The Story.

This may have been why I had a problem with the movie. After the presentation of the premise and the characters, I found myslef resisting acceptance that an entire fantasy world filled with magic, mythologic creatures, witches, generals and armies was waiting for a four small children to come and save their world....by prophecy and design. It would have been more believeable if they happened into the world by accident and through clever plot twists were responsible for the salvation of Narnia. But there was nothing really special about these kids, no ancestors with a special connection/knowledge to Narnia, no special abilities, expertise or talents, They were not exceptional in any way...they were just kids. Why did the land of Narnia need them? They added nothing that wasn't already there and in fact detracted from it.

The opening.

The setup took far too long. I wasn't watching my watch but it must have taken over 20-30 minutes for the first kid to walk out the back of the wardrobe closet into the land of Narnia. I didn't understand the emphasis placed on this part of the book as it had little to do with subsequent events. Did it matter that much to the story that the the kids were sent off to the professor because their mother was concerned about the danger of WWII? There was a passing reference later about being shipped off to avoid the effects of war only to be dropped in the middle of the war in Narnia (and whether they should get involved at all), but it fell limply to the ground.

The characters.

Ouch. Let's go by the numbers.

The Professor and his maid (?).

Good cop bad cop. The maid is stern, the professor, kind. So what? The movie feints toward this professor knowing more about Narnia and the wardrobe, but it leaves it there. You think he is going to add some specific knowledge or experience that the kids might benefit from (if not be involved himself) but they movie drops it and he becomes a useless figure in the overall plot. Why waste screen time on it?

Lucy - A typical, precocious, British eight year old. The most likeable character in the movie (which might not be saying much) but I grow weary of the English tendancy to cast their child characters beyond their years. I had three "laugh" moments in this movie, two concerning her. First, when she hits the bullseye with her magic "knife" and then when she "flashes it" and heads off to vanquish the armies of evil. A real laugher.

Susan - The most annoying, negative character in the movie. At first I made parallels to Wendy from "Peter Pan, but you believed Wendy was concerned about the younger children while Susan comes off as a party killing shrew. They needed to soften this character but didn't. Throughout most of the movie I kept wondering when she was going to use those damn arrows...had to wait until the last 2 minutes and by then it was anticlimatic.

Edmund - The anti-hero who becomes hero. I busted out laughing (third instance) when they put he and his brother in those stupid looking suits of armor. We are asked to believe this 10 and 14 year old are going to take part in a "Braveheart" type battle with huge warriors and mythological creatures and vanquish all? I might have believed it if they were given extrahuman strength, speed and agility. Even with their magic "implements" the battle scenes with these two were comical. Think of William Wallace in a sword fight with Doogie Howser.

Peter - Peter is supposed to be the 14 year old hero of the story, protecting his siblings while winding their way through the dangers of a mystical kingdom. The residents of Narnia wait for his arrival to lead their armies of druids and gargoyles againt the forces of evil in a final battle of epic proportions and historic finality. Sorry. Through the first 4/5ths of the movie Peter comes off as an effeminate British girlie boy and it is too much to ask the audience to believe he is the saviour of Narnia. Why would they want or need him?

The Witch - Huh? Tilda Swinson does comes off as an evil bitch but I never did beleive she, or anyone, would want to be the King or Queen of Narnia. It would be like Sauron of Moldor and his legions of Orks waging an epic battle for the control of The Shire. Snooze.

That's my nutshell of a take. If you ave seen narnia and would like to comment, feel free to do so but let's keep it clean.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: moviereview; narnia
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To: Trajan88

***I just rented The Island... it was quite an entertaining action flick.****


Good movie. Lot's of subtle questions that need to be answered, IMHO.


401 posted on 12/30/2005 12:25:19 PM PST by Gamecock ("It is better to think of Church in an alehouse than to think of an alehouse in Church" Luther)
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To: Miss Marple

I posted this earlier, but it should be reposted.

Here's a link about the order of the books:

http://www.aslan.demon.co.uk/narnia.htm

It's interesting.


402 posted on 12/30/2005 12:32:32 PM PST by luckystarmom
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To: Miss Marple

Forgot to add, that I think readers of the book are making a bigger deal out of the order than C.S. Lewis did.

I think it may be a personal choice.


403 posted on 12/30/2005 12:34:49 PM PST by luckystarmom
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To: Bob J

Okay, Bob J you did say it "S*****". If that doesn't convey hate, then I don't know what else does.

If you said you were disappointed, that would convey something else.

"S*****" pretty much means you hated it.


404 posted on 12/30/2005 12:40:15 PM PST by luckystarmom
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To: kevkrom
You sure you don't mean Voyage of the Dawn Treader? Of all seven books, Prince Caspian had the least story and character development, and seemed to really only be there to set up the next two stories.

Yes, but C.S. Lewis managed to work in the word seneschal which to the best of my knowledge was the ONLY time he ever used that word in fiction.

Pseudepigraphy ping! :-)

Cheers!

405 posted on 12/30/2005 12:43:07 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: SolidRedState
Both said it was the worst book ever written, and stand by that feeling today 12 and 16 years later.

And you would all be wrong...

Try Steinbeck's The Red Pony or Defoe's A Journal of the Plague Years.

Among the best? Try Boccaccio's Decameron (in translation).

Cheers!

...oh, and The Phantom Tollbooth rocks!

406 posted on 12/30/2005 12:47:43 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: fizziwig
"Take heart, there's a great story in the Bible about a bunch of kids teasing a prophet. He warns them to stop and when they don't he orders a she bear out of the woods who kills and eats them. Great story"

"Go up you baldhead!"

Howzabout in Judges where Sisera gets his head nailed to the ground with a tent peg by some woman?

Cheers!

407 posted on 12/30/2005 12:49:12 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: ElkGroveDan
I liked One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest

Don't bring Hillary Nurse Ratched into this!

408 posted on 12/30/2005 12:51:32 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: theFIRMbss
you have to watch it with a child-like suspension of disbelief - beavers don't talk

Add your own Vagina Monologues joke here.

As well as some of Mr. Beaver's first words to Peter...

409 posted on 12/30/2005 12:53:06 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: AnAmericanMother
My kids still quote scads of dialogue from the book (after 50 years, I have all seven almost committed to memory). We were skiing on a BSA Venture Crew trip when my daughter came hauling down the slope, skis parallel, screaming, "Beware! Beware! Beware! The Bolt of Tash falls from above!" Of course she wiped out, and I skied over to the snow-covered heap and inquired, "Does it ever get caught on a hook half way?"

My family does that with Puke & Snot, Calvin and Hobbes, James Herriot, and Dorothy Sayers...

Cheers!

410 posted on 12/30/2005 12:55:27 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: grey_whiskers

"But however entrancing it is to wander unchecked through a garden of bright ...
we not enticing your mind from another subject of almost equal importance? "


411 posted on 12/30/2005 12:57:32 PM PST by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: Malsua; Bacon Man; Hap

I was never a big Doogie fan, but after seeing his stellar turn in "Harold and Kumar," I am now! NPH rules!


412 posted on 12/30/2005 12:57:55 PM PST by Xenalyte (Can you count, suckas? I say the future is ours . . . if you can count.)
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To: grey_whiskers
. . . scratch that . . .

"But however entrancing it is to wander unchecked through a garden of bright images, are we not enticing your mind from another subject of almost equal importance?"

413 posted on 12/30/2005 12:58:11 PM PST by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: SolidRedState

I was probably nine or ten when I read them, and I agree with your children's assessment.


414 posted on 12/30/2005 1:01:25 PM PST by Xenalyte (Can you count, suckas? I say the future is ours . . . if you can count.)
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To: captain anode

"Polar Express"? Wasn't that a very short children's book?

How does one get a two-hour movie out of a book that takes 10 minutes to read out loud?


415 posted on 12/30/2005 1:03:30 PM PST by Xenalyte (Can you count, suckas? I say the future is ours . . . if you can count.)
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To: AnAmericanMother
"But however entrancing it is to wander unchecked through a garden of bright ... we not enticing your mind from another subject of almost equal importance? "

"D*mn you, Peter. Will you keep to the point?"

Full Disclosure: www.gutenberg.org has The Wallet of Kai Lung by Ernest Bramah.

As well as (mentioned in the above conversation) The Decameron by Boccaccio (think a bawdier and funnier Italian-set Canterbury Tales

Cheers!

416 posted on 12/30/2005 1:21:54 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: Taliesan
That a lady killed a witch-king who had decimated entire armies of male warriors -- because some prophecy or other said "no man" could kill him?

Hollywood version...

The book, from memory (paraphrase, Tolkien does it better):

Thus passed the sword of the Barrow-downs, work of Westernesse. But glad would have have been to know its fate was he who wrought it long ago in the North Kingdom when the Dunedain were young, and chief among its foes were the dread realm of Angmar and its sorcerer-king. No other blade, though mightier hands had wielded it, would have dealt that enemy such a blow,[not sure of that phrase, there], cleaving the undead flesh, breaking the spell that knit his unseen sinews to his will

So the power was in the sword, not Eowyn.

Cheers!

417 posted on 12/30/2005 1:31:37 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: luckystarmom
http://www.aslan.demon.co.uk/narnia.htm

I'd be tempted to call Narnia a baptized Boxen, without the politics (no Lord Big).

418 posted on 12/30/2005 1:33:59 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: Bob J
Well, the suits of armour looked ridiculous along with the unicorn Peter was riding (where did that come from?).

Yeah, but Beavers in Chain Mail rock!

Cheers!

419 posted on 12/30/2005 1:38:06 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: luckystarmom
He was going to turn Lucy into the White Witch

In the sense of "betray, reveal the hiding place of", and NOT the sense of "transform"

Cheers!

420 posted on 12/30/2005 1:40:55 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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