Posted on 11/29/2005 6:01:20 PM PST by Nomorjer Kinov
When the Firm Foundation Worship Center got the call that a family of nine escaping Hurricane Katrina had arrived in Westminster needing a house, church members jumped into action.
"They came here with nothing," said Marge DiMaggio, the church's co-pastor.
As quickly as possible, church members made a house on church property look like a home.
When the Brown family left on Sunday, the DiMaggios were horrified to find the house in shambles.
"Hurricane hits Firm Foundation," said Marge DiMaggio.
While answering the call in September, church members' hearts were filled with compassion for the unknown family.
"We brought our pillows over," said Marge DiMaggio, so the family could sleep well the first night.
The church laid new carpet donated by Altieri Builders, redid the bathrooms, found appliances and even hung curtains to make the old-fashioned white-frame house welcoming to the family.
They bought clothes, assembled beds out of mattresses donated by the Westminster Rescue Mission and stocked the pantry with food.
The Browns paid no rent and no utilities for the house.
On Sunday, the DiMaggios entered the house after church, at about 1 p.m., said Marge DiMaggio's son, Brian DiMaggio. The Browns left during church services, between 11 and noon, he said.
A lamp was smashed on the floor, the lampshade stomped.
The screen door was torn off the hinges and flung onto the back deck.
Someone cut a hole in the trampoline that belonged to Joann DiMaggio's children.
Curtain rods were ripped from the wall and left bent and dangling from one screw.
Clothing, potato chip bags, soda cans, socks and empty bags were strewn throughout the house.
A hole was punched in a bathroom wall.
In another bathroom, dried toothpaste was smeared on the vanity, a capless toothpaste tube on the windowsill above.
A big, broken pink plastic car was abandoned on the hill outside the house.
In a dirty refrigerator upstairs, someone left a coffee mug with an inch or two layer of coffee sludge in the bottom.
Dirty dishes were stacked in the sink or on the counters.
But in perhaps the biggest insult, the words "MD Sucks" were emblazoned in black paint on the side of the home.
"When our eyes caught this, we all stood here and froze," Marge DiMaggio said.
Unhappy in Maryland
According to 42-year-old Keith Brown, who with his wife and children was halfway back to their home state of Louisiana, the property was not misused.
"We cleaned up as much as we could," he said.
He denied painting "MD Sucks" on the side of the house. His wife denied knowledge of any vandalism.
Yet Brown, whose family was referred to the church by Home Services Resources of Westminster, admitted to being unhappy during his stay here.
"We had a lot of problems with people about the house," he said.
The DiMaggios would come in and sneak around when the family was out, he said. The DiMaggios would tell them they needed to clean up this and that.
"Living in that environment and having someone watching over your shoulder wasn't worth crap," he said.
Marge and Joann DiMaggio were stunned at Brown's angry response to their generosity.
"The house was so fresh two months ago," said Marge DiMaggio. "We didn't check up on them," she said. "We didn't lord over them. We had no idea."
A few times early on they did ask that things be cleaned up, but that was only natural, she said.
Further, Brown said, the family was never provided with money he said the church promised to help them return home.
"If I wouldn't have done some under-the-table work ... I would never have the money to come home," Brown said.
All of this, he said, left a bad taste in his mouth.
They had to fight to keep items given to them, such as one of the home's two refrigerators and a washing machine, he said. The DiMaggios, who let the Browns have the items, said they had believed the appliances were donated to the house, not the family.
Brown said the DiMaggios, having heard a rumor the Browns were leaving, insulted the family by showing the house to another couple without the Browns' permission.
The DiMaggios had a right to show the house to prospective renters, Marge DiMaggio said. "Frankly, we didn't need permission to bring someone in."
The prospective renters said the house was trashed, but they did not see any vandalism, according to Brian DiMaggio.
The Browns never thanked the church for what it did, Marge DiMaggio said.
"I don't know why they would have a bad taste in their mouth when everything was given to them," she said. "We gave them everything. They never paid for anything."
Natural response
Therein might lie the problem, said psychologist Harald Graning of Confidential Counseling of Westminster.
While the Browns might look like the ultimate ingrates, their response is not unnatural, he said.
"Suppose that you were living your life," he said, "and all of a sudden God came down and destroyed your house? You'd probably be pissed."
The anger that people feel under such circumstances needs to be vented and often isn't.
Unfortunately, the overwhelming generosity of others can backfire by intensifying the recipient's sense of anger and helplessness.
"You are forced to accept charity," he said. "It's demeaning."
Doing good makes the benefactor feel better, not the person being helped, he said. When the person on the receiving end can't repay the kindness and feels compelled to feel appreciative, he or she can become extremely frustrated. Acting out can occur.
Church members trying to make sense of the situation shouldn't feel rejected or upset their gifts were rejected, he said.
Where is Jesse Jackson in our time of need. Answer: out in California trying to get a serial murderer off.
i was taught ..you borrow something , you return it in the same shape or better shape then it was loaned to you. there was no reason these people left this house in such shape. it sounds to me these people have no standards. what do they want for nothing? theyre lucky not to be in a tent. i dread to see what the trailers that are supposed to be temp housing will look like after a few weeks or the new houses that have been given to some. theres good people who are greatful for anything they get but then there are the people who feel we owe them everything. this family should get no help until they pay for the damage they've caused. i dont understand how so many people can whine so much instead of getting out and finding housing and work. what if fema wasnt there to give anything??? what would they do then? i gave and gave to the victims but now i'm done. i now believe in helping those who will help themselves.
Same here. I took in a fellow that lost everything but his grandpaw's shotgun and one sack of clothes. He is sleeping on a matress on the floor in my spare bedroom that I use for an office.
He has found a job. (had to get a ride for a few weeks) He has bought an old car. He buys groceries, is constantly cleaning the yard, house, etc. I have not heard a single complaint.
There's a lot of scum out there but this fellow ain't one of them.
The entitlement mentality says we can have it and destroy it and then expect more. This is a miniature version of what happens to many 'housing projects' in cities all across the United States. In neighborhoods where people pay for their own screen doors they don't seem to get ripped from the hinges nearly as often. I wonder why? I've also noticed in neighborhoods where people pay for their own glass, there are far fewer boarded up windows. Could it be that people take better care of things they pay for themselves?
You are so right. We have been experiencing this first hand lately in our family, but I've observed similar behavior for years all around me.
The only way to help the person be independent and have some level of self esteem is to quit helping them and make it clear that they won't be getting anything else from you. The problem is that when you do this, the 'victim' usually makes such a fuss over being so unjustifiably cut off that someone, somewhere, takes their side and keeps up the flow of assistance. The people who helped them and are now being mean are just piling on more abuse now, even though they are actually doing what the person needs most.
They deserve the best your money can buy for them. [/sarcasm]
... and they heard him exclaim, as he rode out of sight, "Merry effing Christmas you stupid a$$es, now back to our blight."
My mind blanked when I read this article. Have these people(the evacuees mentioned) gone completely mad?! I simply can't grasp it, it makes no sense. Why would people repay an act of total kindness with this behavior? To say that I am appalled is a gross understatement.:(
Katrina Fatigue Ping
There is a Bible verse that is appropriate for this: Matthew 7:6
6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
This is what the "Great Society" of Lyndon Johnson and the Democrats has given us now 40 years later. The "entitlement" class of people. They are entitled to everything and you are expected to provide it. It's like slavery in reverse.
And you should have been. Most of these people are getting their life back together, some are problems. It wasn't the well to do who needed help and to expect not to have any problems is foolish. These people are trash, most are not.
Being in Houston I've seen hundreds making a go of it, and a few who need their rears kicked. I will not ignore the many because of the few or be put off by those who will bitch rather than help. BTW I'm in Louisiana just now, helping a couple of people put their business back together, want to come help, I assure you they are good ones.
I believe "idiot shrink" is redundant! ;-)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Oh, help. I picked up a copperhead and it BIT me.
Double-Dog Dittos to what you both said! I was incredulous reading this, as you were, Mila. This is truly the Legacy of LBJ, as you said, A.! "Gimme, gimme, gimme -- what, is this all you're givin' me? I want more!" Makes me sick!
It fills me with joy to know that my Maryland tax dollars supported this fine upstanding family for three months.
So I assume then that you took someone in?
Several. Most were distant, though not well known, family. Less than a handful were strangers. They have all moved on.
Well congrats for putting your walk where your talk is. It is admirable.
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