Posted on 10/17/2005 7:21:55 AM PDT by Millee
Brother Kenneth Hoagland had heard all the stories about prom-night debauchery at his Long Island high school: students putting down $10,000 to rent a party house in the Hamptons; pre-prom cocktail parties followed by a trip to the dance in a liquor-loaded limo; fathers chartering a boat for their children's late-night "booze cruise."
Enough was enough, Hoagland said. So the principal of Kellenberg Memorial High School canceled the spring prom in a 2,000- word letter to parents.
"It is not primarily the sex/booze/drugs that surround this event, as problematic as they might be; it is, rather, the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake - in a word, financial decadence," Hoagland said, fed up with what he called the "bacchanalian aspects."
"Each year, it gets worse - becomes more exaggerated, more expensive, more emotionally traumatic," he added. "We are withdrawing from the battle and allowing the parents full responsibility. (The school) is willing to sponsor a prom but not an orgy."
The move brought a mixed, albeit passionate, reaction from students and parents at the Roman Catholic school, which is owned by the Society of Mary (Marianists), a religious order of priests and brothers.
"I don't think it's fair, obviously, that they canceled prom," said senior Alyssa Johnson of Westbury. "There are problems with the prom, but I don't think their reasons or the actions they took solved anything."
Hoagland began talking about the future of the prom last spring after 46 Kellenberg seniors made a $10,000 down payment on a $20,000 rental in the Hamptons for a post-prom party. When school officials found out, they forced the students to cancel the deal; the kids got their money back, and the prom went on as planned. But some parents went ahead and rented a Hamptons house anyway, Hoagland said.
Amy Best, an associate professor of sociology and anthropology at George Mason University in Virginia and the author of "Prom Night: Youth, Schools and Popular Culture," said this is the first time she has heard of a school canceling the prom for such reasons.
"A lot of people have lamented the growing consumption that surrounds the prom," she said, noting it is not uncommon for students to pay $1,000 on the dance and surrounding costs: expensive dresses, tuxedo rentals, flowers, limousines, pre- and post-prom parties.
Edward Lawson, the father of a Kellenberg senior, said he and other parents are discussing whether to organize a prom without the sponsorship of the 2,500- student school.
"I don't think they have a right to judge what goes on after the prom," he said. "They put everybody in the category of drinkers and drug addicts."
Some parents picking up their children on a recent afternoon said they support Hoagland.
"The school has excellent values," said Margaret Cameron of Plainview, N.Y. "We send our children here because we support the values and the administration of the school, and I totally back everything they do."
"They should be commended for this baby step but they still need to answer for why a school affiliated with the church allows its student body to participate in drinking parties at any point in the year."
They don't. Wasn't this the reason for the cancellation of the prom?
"If you are going to call yourself a Parochial School or a Christian School you should require students and parents to adhere to righteous living as it applies to the students."
Require students and parents to adhere to righteous living...require, require, hmm, how would one do that? Christ himself taught, instructed, but acknowledged that we all have "free will". Some chose to follow him, some chose not to.
The righteous lessons need to be taught...this school has provided the lesson. The students and parent hopefully, will choose to do the homework....
>The righteous lessons need to be taught...this school has provided the lesson. The students and parent hopefully, will choose to do the homework....<
The school is representing Christ.Looking the other way when students behavior brings the school and its teachings under question is not fullfilling it's duty to Christ.The prom would not be a problem if Seniors had been denied participation in graduation when they showed up "hungover with alcohol still on their breath".If parents had known chartering a booze cruise would get their children expelled it would not have happened.
They are treating symptoms and not causes.If you can not tell the difference in the behavior of Parochial students and public school students the parochial scool is Christian in name only no matter how many priest run it.
That's disgusting.
That is now becoming the norm.
But, but, they just want their daughters to be ... popular.
He's practicing "Know your audience." Unfortunately in this part of the nation rallying against wealth wins more hearts and minds than rallying against moral depravity.
"The school is representing Christ.Looking the other way when students behavior brings the school and its teachings under question is not fullfilling it's duty to Christ."
No, they have absolutely NOT looked the other way. The fact that they haven't looked the other way has earned them criticism from many poster, yourself included...
"The prom would not be a problem if Seniors had been denied participation in graduation when they showed up "hungover with alcohol still on their breath".If parents had known chartering a booze cruise would get their children expelled it would not have happened."
Now why would you make such a statement without having any knowledge of who is expelled, punished, etc.
Is your problem with this Catholic school, Catholic schools in general, or the Catholic Church?
"Judge not, lest ye be judged..."
I'm sorry I keep replying to stuff you wrote days ago, but where is this place and how did it fall so far into immorality?
South east Harris county TX.
>Now why would you make such a statement without having any knowledge of who is expelled, punished, etc. <
Go back and look at the letters.They moved the Prom to the Friday night before graduation and said that did not work because the seniors showed up with alcohol still on their breath.You have your head in the sand if you think the booze cruise was punished and they are still using this as an example for canceling prom.If they had punished the behavior the Prom would not need to be canceled.
Canceling the prom is a band aid on a much larger problem that the school refuses to address.Their walk does not match their talk.
This is not Catholic bashing.Their are 2 Catholic High Schools and 3 or 4 Christian High Schools in Atlanta that are no different.I can show you 3 or 4 Christian High Schools in Atlanta that don't put up with this crap and you can tell a difference in their students just by attending a football or basketball game at the school.
LOL.
If you're going to take a stand...it would serve a person well to "take a stand" on all of it.
I don't have any numbers, just an anecdote. A woman I know who was trying to adopt, told me the best time to go looking for babies is a few months after prom season.
And there's that expression I heard a few years ago ... "off like a prom dress".
I live in Long Island and it is generally a very affluent area.
This is a very good point. Sounds like enough justification for all schools to cancel proms. Society is just too litigous.
I just had the misfortune of being volunteered to chaperone a local high school dance.
I figured it would be boring (like they were when I was a teen)
And in the beginning it was boring.
Then the rap music started - and then the acts of simulated sex. Boys with girls, girls with girls, clumps of five to ten bumping and grinding.
In order to stop it - you would simply have to stop the whole dance.
I couldn't believe how willing these "nice" kids were to climb on someone's leg and start grinding!
The other chaperones said this is how kids dance today - this is how they "let off steam"
I wasn't just shocked - I was sad to see how clueless these kids were as to how they were humiliating themselves.
I won't allow my kids to attend these "dances" anymore - and I would advise parents out there to volunteer to chaperone at least one dance so you can see what I'm talking about.
Good for this principal - high school dances are detrimental for kids.
If they're going to act like that - let them arrange it privately and leave the school out of it.
She may have said it in despair too.
My daughter graduated last year, and her school does the same thing. She had a great time, and I'm thankful for the parents who participated in this as chaperones.
As far as her prom, she was with a group that rented a limo and a hotel room, but there were chaperones.
Nope, it was a lame attempt to describe how attractive her daughter is.....
It’s not a moderation problem but a problem in how our society treats alcohol. In Europe, people start drinking wine and beer when they are kids, in small amounts of course. It never becomes the forbidden fruit that you can suddenly have when you turn 18 or 21. Consequently, Europeans know how to handle alcohol.
My mother is European and I remember both my parents trying to get me to drink beer (a small amount) when I was a kid. Ironically, I can’t stand the stuff, though a little bit of wine is ok.
"Go back and look at the letters.They moved the Prom to the Friday night before graduation and said that did not work because the seniors showed up with alcohol still on their breath."
And they weren't allowed to graduate. Punishment enough for you?
"You have your head in the sand if you think the booze cruise was punished and they are still using this as an example for canceling prom."If they had punished the behavior the Prom would not need to be canceled."
They were punished...as soon as the school found out about it.
The reasons cited for cancelling the prom were many and varied. Perhaps you should re-read the letters. You don't seem to grasp the entirety of the situation.
History repeats itself.
"Canceling the prom is a band aid on a much larger problem that the school refuses to address.Their walk does not match their talk."
You sound extremely ignorant in light of the letters posted. They have addressed it.
What would you require? Burning the offending students at the stake?
"This is not Catholic bashing."
Oh no?
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