Posted on 10/08/2005 8:22:36 PM PDT by sonsofliberty2000
(AP) MEDFORD, Ore A registered sex offender who fashioned a loin cloth from a rope and piece of lawn furniture was arrested near a high school, where he asked four girls for a ride to the mall or a motel, police said.
Kelly James Bailey, 33, of Greenwater, Wash., was wearing only the rope when he shocked a Medford woman by appearing in her back yard Thursday morning.
Before he left, Bailey, who appeared to be covered in feces, ran away with a strip of leopard-print vinyl peeled from the seat of lawn chair, said Medford police Lt. Mike Moran.
More than an hour later, four North Medford High School girls were waiting in a car near the school when Bailey — now wearing blue jeans, but still covered in the apparent fecal matter — approached the car. He asked the girls for a ride to the Red Carpet Inn or the Rogue Valley Mall.
"The girls wisely rolled up their windows and left," Moran said.
The girls alerted authorities, who spotted Bailey running near campus.
"When we caught him, he still appeared to be covered in fecal matter," Moran said. "He told us, though, he was partying with girls the night before and somehow ended up rolling around in tomato paste."
As officers patted him down, they found that he had used the rope and vinyl strip to make a primitive loin cloth.
"I think it's definitely the strangest case of the day," Moran said.
Bailey was lodged in Jackson County Jail on charges of theft, trespassing, criminal mischief and failing to register as a sex offender in Oregon. He was held on $24,000 bail.
The theft charge was for allegedly taking the vinyl strip, Moran said.
""When we caught him, he still appeared to be covered in fecal matter," Moran said. "He told us, though, he was partying with girls the night before and somehow ended up rolling around in tomato paste."
As officers patted him down, they found that he had used the rope and vinyl strip to make a primitive loin cloth."
This guy really know how to party!
(/LOL)
I was under the impression that he was really down in the dumps.
It reminds me of that Far Side cartoon titled "How nature says Do Not Touch": Right after pictures of dangerous insects and snakes is a guy wearing only a pool float and holding a shotgun.
The Far Side can be pretty darn hilarious.
LOL!
Likewise, the locals in MA used to charge "lewd and lascivious" for people urinating in the bushes at 2AM.
But the Boston police would do nothing about the bag lady that would just drop her drawers and let loose outside the
Boston Public Library.
EWWWWWWW, why pray tell???
My sister called a couple of nights ago to tell about her tracking down a guy that had tried to pull a girl on her way home from soccer practice into his car.
The girl ran away and to a nearby 711 convenience store where she asked the clerk to use the phone so she could call her mom.
Several people went out looking for the car that girl described. My sister saw a car she said met the description and started to follow it. Sure enough, he was still cruising the streets full of kids.
He was driving here and there as if with no particular place to go. And then he saw her following him. He did not race away but started taking every turn and change of direction imaginable.
My sister said she was on the phone for 45 minutes as she followed the guy. Police dispatch kept transfering to hold. Finally she called 911.
They eventually caught the guy - at least the police finally found where they were. My sister and her friend that had joined in the pursuit blocked the guy in with their trucks until the police got there.
Never found out what happened but the police did take him away.
appeared to be covered in feces,
What a degenerate. Glad they caught him before he could hurt someone.
I'm a reserve (part-time) police office for my small town.
Because of that, I get the late-night weekend shifts - which means I have the highest DUI apprehension rate, which means I get more than my fair share of sick drunks.
Happily, my unit is a former K9 car: my backseat can be washed out with a hose! :)
And this is what? A land whale? Occasional swimmer? Poster boy for stomach-stapling surgery?
"Sometimes I cannot help but be flabbergasted that as small as our world has become, people actually think they can get away with this stuff."
Get away with it? Hell, in NY off-off-Broadway venues they actually get PAID for it.
(Denny Crane: "Sometimes you can only look for answers from God and failing that... and Fox News".)
Maybe he was sprayed by a skunk and just trying out a home remedy for getting rid of the smell.
He was just trying to find, and demonstrate, an answer to the TV ad asking "What can Brown do for you?"
Don't look Ethel! It was too late. She'd already saw spaghetti and meatballs smothered in tomato sauce.
Sex offenders are never cured.
Keep him in jail.
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