Posted on 09/22/2005 5:48:16 PM PDT by wagglebee
We hear a lot of talk these days about the need to protect and strengthen the traditional American family. Certainly, it is true that the institution of marriage is under attack from every side. But the real threat comes from the multitudes of couples that fail to honor their marriage vows.
Adultery is one of the most terrible "facts of life" in contemporary America. If you watch the daily soap operas on TV many of which are just soft-core pornography you might get the impression that there are more people cheating on their spouses than remaining faithful. And you might be right.
How many people have affairs? That's hard to say because not everybody will answer honestly. But sex therapist Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth conservatively estimates that about 60 percent of married men and 40 percent of married women will have an affair at some time during their marriage. Maggie Scarf, author of Intimate Partners basically agrees.
Since these books were written more than a decade ago, and since more women are leaving the home and entering the workforce, the number of wives having affairs may also have reached the 60 percent range.
Americans have a schizophrenic attitude toward adultery.
While 90 percent admit that adultery is morally wrong, according to a Time-CNN poll, 50 percent say that President Bill Clinton's morals are "about the same as the average married man." While 35 percent think that adultery should be a crime, 61 percent think it shouldn't.
Having an affair simply doesn't carry the social stigma that it once did.
According to Playboy magazine, 2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men have sexual thoughts about their coworkers, and about the same number follow through on those libidinous impulses.
Why do husbands and wives cheat on their spouses? Psychologists cite subjective issues like loss of love and feelings of alienation. Certainly the media pressure of our sex-saturated society is a significant influence.
But a major factor is the easy availability of cheap and plentiful Internet pornography.
Statistics show that 25 percent of all Internet search engine requests are related to pornography.
According to the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, "approximately 40 million people in the United States are sexually involved with the Internet." And while 76 percent of women feel that phone sex or cyber-sex is the equivalent of committing adultery, only 41 percent of men do.
Dr. Alvin Cooper and MSNBC.com conducted an online poll of 38,000 people, and 10 percent admitted that they were addicted to Internet pornography.
What's more, a lot of those Internet sex addicts eventually progress from cyber-sex to real-time sexual affairs.
Some legal professionals estimate that as many as one-third of all divorces may have their roots in Internet porn or online affairs. "If there's dissatisfaction in the existing relationship, the Internet is an easy way for people to scratch the itch," explains J. Lindsey Short, Jr., president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
The pain and suffering caused by adultery is immense, especially for children. They are more likely never to marry, or to later divorce, if they had divorced or cheating parents. After a divorce, many children are unable ever to develop strong, trusting relationships.
There is a direct correlation between the steady decline of morals and values in America and this more accepting contemporary attitude toward adultery. Part of the reason is because most people have forgotten what a marriage really is.
Marriage is more than just a legal status recognized by the state, or even a temporary social contract between two people.
True marriage is a solemn covenant relationship between a man, a woman and God. It is a hallowed institution that should be revered, cherished, and preserved.
The act of adultery is childish and selfish, and it hurts everyone involved.
It violates at least two of the Ten Commandments: the clear prohibitions against committing adultery and coveting your neighbor's spouse.
If we care about the future of our great nation, we as a people must relearn the virtue and necessity of staying committed to the spouses to whom we are married.
Haven't tried the others.
You know the other day at Albertsons, I saw low-carb red and white wine...I forgot who makes, it, LOL!!
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet --Saint Augustine.
No doubt about it: same here. Our example notwithstanding, it's still an issue.
I am talking about right here, right now. The work place has turned into cheating divorce factories. Sorry, but that's just the plain truth.
I think there is something wrong with you if you don't have that weakness since it is part of the human condition inherent in everybody. There is no one that ever lived outside of Christ (and Adam and Eve before their fall) who doesn't have the weakness for sin.
Any desire I might have to stray from my vows is quickly quenched by the knowledge that my wife has an Irish temper and is a pretty good shot.
Score another victory for the second amendment.
St Augustine is one of my heroes. Does that surprise you? ;-)
What weakness? Lust and the desire to commit adultry? I'm a happily married woman why would I want to mess it up with that crap?
Why would the timeframe of when women were in the workplace make any difference? Like there wasn't adultry committed sixty years ago?
Do you know who cheats in Vegas and on business trips? -- And I base this on a long history of business and Vegas --
...the naive. No joke. The guy who cheats is the guy who mows the lawn on schedule, changes his oil filter on schedule and coaches the little league team. He's the guy who goes to Vegas and sleeps with Peggy/Sarah/Suzy/Jayne(with a "y") down in marketing/accounting/public relations/sales and thinks that there are no consequences.
Guys who have been around a couple of blocks typically have a firm grasp of consequences.
Not surprised. A guy from a backwater who happened to be a genius...
You are wise, and very correct. I think that dovetails a bit with my 'opportunity' argument, but takes into account a major variable regarding human nature, also.
By the way, extra points for 'Jayne' with a 'y.' You are street smart, brother! ;-)
Oh please. Don't you get out much? There are millions of females now in the work place, bumping bellies with the men. This just didn't happen in mass years back. Lets not play stupid.
Jaynes with a "y" and Sandis with an "i" are to be avoided on all levels.
Confessions of st Augustine is one of my top 5 alltime most influential resources. I read it it Jesuit high school in nyc, go back to my dog-eared copy now and then to thumb through, and give it a good re-read every few years.
The quote you mention is my fave attributed to Augustine! ;-)
You sure about that? I would say that Judaism accepts the story of Noah and the account of the wickedness that existed. This verse sure would indicate that God was judging people by more than just their actions.
Genesis 6:5 And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
Yep, and women with very very (two verys) pointy shoes! ;-)
And I'm one of them and I'm not what do you call it, "bumping bellies" with them.
I love that!!!! Is that a picture or poster I can get somewhere. I would love it in a frame at my bar area.
OOOK.
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