Woman in power is powerless when it comes to meeting men

http://www.mcall.com/ ^ | September 17, 2005 | Amy Alkon

[teldon30]

Dear Amy: I'd like to be in a relationship again, but I never even get asked out (unless you count frisky 85-year-olds and drunks at the corner bar). I'm a 32-year-old woman who's happy, sociable, and attractive. (I paid for college by modeling and continue to take care of myself.) I'm second-in-command at a big company, financially secure, and own a beautiful home. How can I meet men in general, and more specifically, men I'd actually want to date?

Deluxe Chopped Liver

Dear Deluxe: To scare away vampires, it takes garlic and crosses, which make ugly bulges in sleek, satin evening bags. Luckily, all you have to do to scare away men is pull out a business card that says ''senior vice president.''

''Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac,'' said Henry Kissinger. Sure it is — unless you're a woman. Research by Stephanie L. Brown and Brian P. Lewis, published in Evolution and Human Behavior (Nov. '04), seems to confirm what many lonely women at the top already know: When guys go for the woman in the boardroom, it isn't the woman running the meeting but the secretary who wheeled in the coffee and croissants before it started.

Sure, plenty of men will scamper up the corporate ladder for a one-night stand. But, according to Brown and Lewis' study, men looking for dates or relationships tend to prefer their subordinates to their colleagues or bosses. The researchers hypothesize that men evolved to want women they can control as a means of guarding against ''parental uncertainty'' — unwittingly raising kids fathered by the Neanderthal next door as their own. Brown and Lewis think this may also explain why men are suckers for ''behavioral expressions of vulnerability'' — women who act like they might not be able to make it across the street

[Mr. Jeeves]

Takes one to know one...and just what are you doing hanging out on FR on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, Captain Pissant? ;)

[HitmanLV]

Your analysis of the author's text is spot-on. Kudos!

[longtermmemmory]

younger men USE older women. There might be exceptions but the overwhelmingly VAST majority are just recreational sex.

[MadIvan]

Update to that story. She just phoned me whilst out with friends to let me know she was about to consume some red wine. She also wanted to tap into my knowledge of New York, as I've been there many times, and wanted to know if I'd ever heard of "Fleet Week".

"No." I replied. "Should I have?"

"It's when a whole bunch of sailors come to New York and there's a big ball. It was mentioned on Sex in the City."

"Not to put too fine a point on it, my priorities are quite different to those of the ladies on Sex in the City."

"But they're MY priorities."

So to recap - she was phoning me, someone she possibly considered a prospect - to ask about my knowledge of New York, so she could lie with half the American Navy (lads, don't do it).

I hung up as quickly as possible. Time to change numbers, I think.

Regards, Ivan

[sit-rep]

Stop treating your men like employees and maybe you'll get some. Do a night or two at the local bar, get laid, and remember what it's like to be normal again....then go get ya a man...

JMTC...

[Age of Reason]

Because the traditional game had rules, and those rules have been abrogated by societal innovations.

Shove societal innovations.

[Mr. Jeeves]

put the laptop away!! Thats just criminal.

Actually, I'm trying to get some writing done...I really need to just shut down Firefox for a while. ;)

[HitmanLV]

I think Vegas is a great place to meet a romantic companion. My local supermarkets (Smiths & Albertsons) in Spring Valley has more attractive women waiting to be noticed than I would ever have imagined!

[Betis70]

>>I'm an attorney, drive a cute little BMW and when guys find out they totally shut me out. The Bimmer is the only thing I have in the world that's a sign of wealth- it's my dream car and it's not new.

Z3? Z4? Or maybe a 3-series 'vert? I used to have a 6-series before I got rear-ended. I personally like those mid-80s BMWs. Solid machines.

I would think it would be fairly easy for a female car enthusiast to meet a nice male car enthusiast. It is usually so male-dominated, that the few single women I've seen at car shows (and such), generally get a lot of attention.

[tet68]

Ash cakes are what we make when we are primitive hunting.

Red wheat flour, mixed with water(not much) and pinched out
into flats , a good hardwood fire, then rake out a nice
place on the coals and put the cakes on the embers,
turn once, don't burn, will keep for several days, eat
with venison jerky. Not gourmet, but will keep you alive
in the hard times.

Have you been striped bass fishing before?

[papertyger]

And just for your information, I'm female.

Gee, never woulda guessed (rolling eyes)

[Mr. Jeeves]

My local supermarkets (Smiths & Albertsons) in Spring Valley has more attractive women waiting to be noticed than I would ever have imagined!

Note to self: next time I'm at Mandalay Bay, make time to stop by Albertson's... ;)

[Proud_USA_Republican]

you asked: "What have you been doing for the past 10 years?"

Prediction of those 10 years:

Only dating guys she felt was worthy of her level of looks. (Notice she had to mention she did modeling in college as if that makes it all the more tragic and inconcievable that she can't find the right guy)

Screwing over the guys that treated her well and turning down guys who seemed to "boring" to her, who by the way is exactly who she appears to be whining about not being able to find now.

[Translates]

It's like going down the giant slide in WaterWorld. Can't stop, can't stop, can't stooooopp!

[summer]

Re your post #5 - ROTFLMAO...

I am sure this thread could provide DAYS of entertaining reading. But, I don't have the time right now... :)

[pigsmith]

If you're in there with a serious list trying to get home to fix that major

...water pipe blowout in the wall behind the dishwasher, the result of finally getting good water pressure.

[HitmanLV]

Kudos to your (consistently) excellent observations! I admit, I like talking to women like that. When I was in nyc in late july, I was at a pizza parlor on W 3rd & Sullivan and was sharing a stand-up table with two women around 30. Not bad looking at all.

Anyway, one was talking to the other about how her new love interest was dissatisfying her because he was 'too controlling.' I politely interrupted and said I was sorry to overhear, but would she like a man's point of view?

Actually, and I am sure you know this Mr. J, their conversation was partly female banter and partly to bait a man within earshot into their conversation.

I just asked her nicely "What makes you feel that anyone would want to control you?" I could see her pupils dilating. She stammered something about 'independence.' I reminded her that you have succeeded in being independent when you are completely alone and do whatever you want. "Is that what you want?"

This was way too heavy for these two Columbia University graduates. Oh well, my point is I like to pick the brains of these types of folks as I encounter them - there's nothing quite as much fun as conversing with someone who prefaces their comments with "I have thought about this a lot" and then two or three pointed questions later, it is clear that they haven't really thought about this at all.

Still on for LV in October?

[longtermmemmory]

The expression "high maintenance" comes to mind.

(an ladies it does not necessarily mean financial maintenance.)

[HitmanLV]

The two partners in the dealership are very successful self-made men, and in their speeches, both mentioned their wives in humorous slightly self-deprecating anecdotes, in which the helpful wisdom of their wives was implied. I have a hard time imagining a female executive mentioning her husband in the same way in such a speech.

This is VERY true and very insightful. There is a systemic bias that downplays the significance of men in the lives of sucessful women. No wonder men lose interest.

[summer]

My local supermarkets (Smiths & Albertsons) in Spring Valley has more attractive women waiting to be noticed than I would ever have imagined!

LOL...well, then, to level this playing field, I feel it only fair I provide a great tip for women seeking to meet fascinating men: go to your town or city's local building department, where architects file their plans with the town or city. Bring some large poster paper rolled up, and just wait on line.

If you have a pleasant demeanror and do not look like post #5 on this thread, then, every gentlman on that line will offer his place to you, ask if he can help you file, or will strike up a genial conversation about what you may be building.

I am serious here. There are usually all men on those lines. VISIONARY, talented men. And, they are thrilled to see the same IN A WOMAN. It's like meeting someone from the same planet when you least expected it.

Architects are great guys, ladies. And, remember - George Costanza on Seinfeld always lied and said he was an architect. You can, too! :)

PS I am only joking about telling a lie. I never lie. But, I did have real reason to have to stand on one of those lines, and after all the attention I got, I thought to myself: Good grief, if I ever feel like meeting a new guy, THIS IS WHERE I WILL DO IT: THE DEPT OF BUILDINGS. WHO KNEW!

I think it's sort of like the Home Depot love stories you hear about, when they get married after they both bought the same hammer or something. :)

And, don't ask me any more questions about this advice! Just take it if you like it! Ignore it if you don't! :)