Woman in power is powerless when it comes to meeting men

http://www.mcall.com/ ^ | September 17, 2005 | Amy Alkon

[teldon30]

Dear Amy: I'd like to be in a relationship again, but I never even get asked out (unless you count frisky 85-year-olds and drunks at the corner bar). I'm a 32-year-old woman who's happy, sociable, and attractive. (I paid for college by modeling and continue to take care of myself.) I'm second-in-command at a big company, financially secure, and own a beautiful home. How can I meet men in general, and more specifically, men I'd actually want to date?

Deluxe Chopped Liver

Dear Deluxe: To scare away vampires, it takes garlic and crosses, which make ugly bulges in sleek, satin evening bags. Luckily, all you have to do to scare away men is pull out a business card that says ''senior vice president.''

''Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac,'' said Henry Kissinger. Sure it is — unless you're a woman. Research by Stephanie L. Brown and Brian P. Lewis, published in Evolution and Human Behavior (Nov. '04), seems to confirm what many lonely women at the top already know: When guys go for the woman in the boardroom, it isn't the woman running the meeting but the secretary who wheeled in the coffee and croissants before it started.

Sure, plenty of men will scamper up the corporate ladder for a one-night stand. But, according to Brown and Lewis' study, men looking for dates or relationships tend to prefer their subordinates to their colleagues or bosses. The researchers hypothesize that men evolved to want women they can control as a means of guarding against ''parental uncertainty'' — unwittingly raising kids fathered by the Neanderthal next door as their own. Brown and Lewis think this may also explain why men are suckers for ''behavioral expressions of vulnerability'' — women who act like they might not be able to make it across the street

[Age of Reason]

"Wish I still had some of the pictures, mate. I do not think you would consider them unworth of attention."

I'd only be surprised if they looked like this:

http://www.artunframed.com/images/artistsusaa/curran1.jpg

Or like this,

http://www.worcesterart.org/Exhibitions/Past/am_imp_benson.html


I do note, however, that it seems none of them were somehow worthy of your continued attention, else you would not be speaking of them in the past tense.

And so they could not have been the best choices for you, as you either tired of them, or they of you.

Or perhaps you considered these women as brief amusements, and not the kind to be serious about.

If so, I commend your good judgment in at least not viewing them as worth anything more than a moment's amusement.

[Age of Reason]

And when you are burned by fire, neither do you think, "I should make myself feel a horrible sensation in my hand, so that I will be obliged to remove it from the flame as quickly as possible."

[PigRigger]

I've always had success with a women when I followed these rules:

1. If she wears to much make-up...stay away.
2. If her finger nails and toe nails are constantly polished and manicured....stay away.
3. If she is perpetually tanned....stay away
4. If she can't be seen wearing anything other than the latest fashions....stay away.

Normally, the above listing reflects a narcissistic personality. That will not change when dating or babies start.

Here's a list of characteristics I've always looked for (when I was dating):

1. Likes to smile and is polite.
2. Is neat and clean in appearance, looks good in just jeans and T-shirt.
3. Punctual
4. Believes in God
5. Rarely swears, never degrades others, and is forgiving
6. Shows empathy for others and loves children and animals

These characteristics tend to reflect a person who is caring, giving and confident in oneself.

Married the closet one to having all the traits on list two....will be twenty years next June...maybe I just got lucky....maybe not....

[Age of Reason]

PigRigger, you have the right idea.

[Age of Reason]

On second thought--I don't think women should be seen in T-shirts.

[PoorMuttly]

When The Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside;
But the shebear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail,
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.


When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it as he can;
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.


When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale,
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.


Man's timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say,
For the Woman that God gave him isn't his to give away;
But when the hunter meets with husband, each confirms the other's tale-
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.


Man, a bear in most relations-worm and savage otherwise,-
Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise.
Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact
To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.


Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere be lay the wicked low,
To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.
Mirth obscene diverts his angerl Doubt and Pity oft perplex
Him in dealing with an issue-to the scandal of The Sex!


But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame
Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same;
And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.


She who faces Death by torture for each life beneath her breast
May not deal in doubt or pity-must not swerve for fact or jest.
These be purely male diversions-not in these her honour dwells.
She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else.


She can bring no more to living than the powers that make her great
And the Mother of the Infant and the Mistress of the Mate!
And when Babe and Man are lacking and she strides unclaimed to claim
Her right as femme (and baron), her equipment is the same.


She is wedded to convictions-in default of grosser ties;
Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies-
He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild,
Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.


Unprovoked and awful changes-even so the she-bear fights,
Speech that drips, corrodes, and poisons-even so the cobra bites,
Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw,
And the victim writhes in anguish-like the Jesuit with the squaw!


So, it comes that Man the coward, when he gathers to confer
With the fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her
Where, at war with Life and Conscience, he uplifts his erring hands
To some God of Abstract Justice-which no woman understands.


And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the woman that God gave him
Must command but may not govern-shall enthrall but not enslave him.
And She knows, because She warns him, and Her instincts never fail,
That the Female of the Species is more deadly than the Male.


~ Rudyard Kipling

[PigRigger]

On second thought--I don't think women should be seen in T-shirts.....

Curious...why?

I just believe that if a women can feel comfortable, and attractive, being in Jeans and a T-Shirt, she probably has an inner strength and beauty...that is not necessarily dictated by the latest fashions or others in general.....

[Rca2000]

Thank you for the compliment about me. I only wish people like my cousin thought so(she tends to think I talk about stupid thnigs, ,am a boring person, loser, etc)-- BUT does NOT say these things to me-- only to my sister, who then tells me. THIS, after me and my mother gave her $500 last month, to help her out a little.Since then, she seems to have gotten MORE critical towards me, not less. As for the cat, do you mean THIS cat?? That is me, BTW. Ugly picture, isn't it?

[AppyPappy]

Living with mom is a warning sign for most women. I'd keep that information to myself until I know the woman very well.

[Age of Reason]

T-Shirts on a woman are, I think, less than casual--I find them kond of slovenly, plus they can be too revealing when in public.

[Age of Reason]

On third thought:

First on your list of desirable qualities should be having been raised in a wholesome family environment with sane family relationships all around.

The women I've known who were not so raised, were nothing be trouble.

There may be an exception to this rule--as to any rule--but coming from a screwed-up family is a danger sign.

And the added benefit is you get nice people for in laws.

[Age of Reason]

Example of ideal family environment: http://www.timvp.com/donna.html

[najida]

Thanks sweetie,
But all I see is the dreaded red X!

[Rca2000]

Let me give you a MALE perspective on this for a bit. PART of what you say is right, in that courts are stacked against a man, nowdays. And yes a bitter, vindictive, femilezi-type woman will often use this to her advantage and "clean the man's clock" as it was.

However a movement is SUPPOSEDLY on today, to change this "no fault" divorce culture, and make harder to "cut and run" to to speak. So, in the future, maybe the courts will not be so one-sided.

BUT-- there is another side to this story. You say "a man would be a fool to get married in America, nowdays". What about the cases (and I know of several, myself), where the MAN runs off, and leaves the women with several children which HE fathered, to support, with NO help from him? Or, what about the wife who has to support the family, because her husband is so hooked on drugs, that he cannot KEEP a job(he can GET any job he wants through his mastery of Bull$hit, but cannot KEEP one longer than a few months), still this wife stays with her husband.

Or, what about the situation, where the husband makes 100k+, a year, has a vacation home, several vehicles, boats, ATV's, houses, etc.BUT his wife is MADE to work TWO jobs, to "pay for her bills", such as her vehicle, insurance and "lady needs". THAT to me is an ATROCITY, when a couple marries all of the :normal " bills should be one one common acount, IMHO, and a wife should NOT be made to work two jobs to pay for "her" things, in a marriage.And before you ask, NO, she is not a "shopaholic", who forced her husband to do this, after running up a huge credit-card bill. No, this woman is modest, and does NOT run to bloomingdales, saks, or ANY of those places, to "spend her hubby's money". HE is just a tightwad, stingy type. BTW-- these are NOT some people I read abou, or heard about on Jerry Springer-- these are people I went to school with, who are now adults.

Not ALL women strive to "hook 'em, nook 'em and crook 'em, as you state. SOME do, of course. BUT some MEN marry a wealthy women, to use her financially, also.

Lest you think I am some metrosexual, liberal type, I am NOT, and have had MORE than my share of "bad dealings" with women. Most women find me undesirable, because I am not very much into sports, or fashion, or hollywood, but am more into politics, science, technology and world affairs. I am also NOT a drinker, druggie, I do not smoke, and I want a woman as a friend and companion, NOT as a "bed partner, for the weekend". This attitude(not wanting a quick "fling"); does NOT seem to be very popular nowdays. One thing: you are married, and claim to be satisfied, so what makes YOU so bitter? I doubt you have put up with some of the things from women that I ,or some of the other single men here , have. You have a LOT to be thankful for, and do not even realize it.

I am SURE that god will send Lawgirl a good, decent, morally-centered man, to be a partner to, in good time, if that is what she desires, as long as she is faithful, and does NOT just "settle for the next opportunity that comes her way" Somehow, I don't think she will. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders, and of good moral character. For you to basically tell her, she is destined to lead a life alone, due to her profession, is cruel, to say the least!!!!

[Rca2000]

I wonder what I did wrong? Should I see the picture when I do a "preview", cause I did not.

[najida]

Yeah, the picture should show at preview...

If not, you're missing something.

[Centurion2000]

An honest woman who wants to bargain! OK, I would reply that I want GOOD home-cooked meals at least five days a week, a clean house, and to be treated like a GI in Bangkok at least four times a week.

Can you imagine her jaw hitting the floor when you say that?? I sure can. LOL

[Scarlet Pimpernel]

"Clearly she did not marry me for my money".

But a good woman will see the potential....

[fqued]

old adage: a woman grows to be like her mother; so take a good look at her mother before you commit.

I think there is some truth in this, though it is not universal. It goes to your comment about looking to see if a potential spouse was raised in a sane family.

[fqued]

re: Your screen name: mighty big boots to fill, there. SP is one of the great heroes in novel land. Do you know that Baronness Orczy wrote a whole series of books about the league of the SP, but only the first is generally remembered. The movie, however was based on both the Scarlet Pimpernel and Eldorado.