Parents miss Mass, kids get ax

NY Daily News ^ | 06.27.05 | NANCY DILLON

[Coleus]

Parents miss Mass, kids get ax

The pastor of a Staten Island Catholic church is playing holy hardball - kicking hundreds of kids out of religious ed classes because their families aren't showing up at Mass.

The Rev. Michael Cichon, pastor of St. Joseph/St. Thomas in Pleasant Plains, used each family's bar-coded donation envelope to track attendance.

He's tossed about 300 kids from classes and told them not to reapply until next April.

Without the classes, children cannot receive the sacraments, meaning some youngsters who thought they'd be making their First Communion next year will have to wait.

The suspensions, legal under church doctrine, were a shock to many parents with kids enrolled in the 1,400-child program, which caters to kids who don't attend Catholic schools.

"It's hurtful," said Joseph LoPizzo, 38, whose 6-year-old son was booted. "I've been a parishioner at that church for 23 years - longer than he's been the reverend."

LoPizzo said he paid the $150 for his son's Thursday afternoon classes last year, but his father-in-law's illness hampered the family's church attendance.

"I've just never heard of a church kicking you out," complained Lisa Nicol, 36, who got a letter saying her 7-year-old twin daughters had been barred from classes. "They should be more welcoming and sensitive."

The pastor said he suspended kids from the 2005-2006 after-school program because Mass is an "essential" component of the Catholic faith.

The affected families were attending church less than once a month, he said.

Cichon insisted that the move has nothing to do with the lack of a donation.

"There are many families who put absolutely nothing inside the envelopes they submit," he said.

Originally published on June 27, 2005

[maryz]

But, hey, the Celts have been trouble . . .

LOL! No kidding! Chesterton said something about early Christian missionaries in Ireland who were probably massacred not by pagans but by "rather lax Christians."

[Former Fetus]

This kind of behavior is simply vile, disgusting, beneath contempt

I'm not suggesting that I'm proud of what I did. Thankfully, I've come to the Lord since then and this, and other sins, have been forgiven. But don't you think that words like "vile, disgusting, beneath contempt" are a bit too harsh? There I was, a life-long Catholic who was going out of her way, literally, to attend Mass and I'm been turned out at the door because I don't follow the "dress code" (which I couldn't do, given the circumstances). Yeah, there are more Christian responses than mine, but save some of your self-righteous indignation for the priest who was turning people out at the door! On the other hand, we know that everything works for the good of those who love God, don't we? That priest was the straw that broke the camel's back and I stopped going to church. I was not happy that way, so when a friend to whom I had confided my story invited me to worship at his Southern Baptist church, I accepted. It was the best thing that has ever happened to me! Now I am a baptized believer, not because of my parents decissions but my own, I study the Bible regularly, teach a Sunday school class... The Lord brought me home through a very hurtful experience, and I thank Him every day!

[Steve_Seattle]

"I teach Sunday School volunatarily, kids and adults come when they can. We don't force them to. Or kick them out if the parents don't show up for church. I don't understand the reasoning behind that."

Belated reply: I don't know if this is a financial issue or an attempt to deal with lax Catholics. Many parishes have worked out complex arrangement for financing the schools, and this often involved supporting the school via sunday donations rather than through tuition. (This has interesting tax implications, because you can't deduct tuition but you can deduct contributions to the church itself.) But if this is an attempt to get parents to take the faith more seriously, I support it in theory, but it may not be the best way to handle it.

[Former Fetus]

I agree we have different beliefs about what the Lord's Supper is. That's why, when I visit my parents, I abstain from receiving communion. OTOH, when they visit me they receive communion at our church because, like I said, it is open to all baptized believers. More like what you read about in the book of Acts!

[Hermann the Cherusker]

What of someone who is away from the church and yet comes back?

They were inspired to this action by gratuitous grace.

We focus on prayer and the Mass. For our 2nd grade group, our 'lessons' are about Jesus and on the Sacrament of Reconciliation, which we help prepare the kids to receive.

But they can't validly receive the Sacrament if they are in a state of persistent sin - i.e. never attending Mass. Any absolution given to them would be a nullity.

It doesn't matter even if they confessed never attending Mass, because to be absolved, they must have the firm resolution to begin attending. And this cannot just be a wish or hope, but must be well-founded.

[wideawake]

Ah, so you're an apostate. I see.

[Hermann the Cherusker]

You can't use your own sitution, which turned out well, to justify embroiling thousands of other children in mortal sin (receiving Holy Communion out of the state of grace).

The exceptionality of your own sitution points to how fraught with difficulty the whole subject of breaching this discipline is.

[Steve_Seattle]

"It doesn't matter even if they confessed never attending Mass, because to be absolved, they must have the firm resolution to begin attending. And this cannot just be a wish or hope, but must be well-founded."

My sister is a teacher's assistant at a Catholic school and is in the church choir, and recently told me she hasn't gone to confession in 20 years, yer she receives communion on a regular basis with no apparent qualms. I think she's rather typical in this day and age. Many people, even those who are very active in the church, simply pay no attention to the rules.

[SoothingDave]

What of someone who is away from the church and yet comes back?

We slay the fatted calf.

This pastor is not closing the door on anyone. He is asking those standing there on the threshold if they intend to come in or not.

SD

[maryz]

I'm been turned out at the door because I don't follow the "dress code" (which I couldn't do, given the circumstances).

I for one have never heard of such a thing in a Catholic church -- I do recall a few sermons in the 50s about people who should show more respect in their dress, but never directed at one person.

[RepubMommy]

Wow! Are these diocesan and parish tuition rates? They really seem way out of line. Up here (Philly area) those are the rates of the fancy (but not the fanciest)private Catholic schools. Does the parish/diocese assist at all with expenses?

I'm in northeast NJ, we paid $3375 as a parishioner for one child (we will eventually have three in the school) but then must pay donate a min if $10 per week to maintain "parishioner" status. Afterall is said and done, the difference between a parishioner's tuition vs non parishioner's tuition comes out to about $200 a year. That said, we are told be the Diocese it costs $4300 to educate each child. We have three sponsoring Churches, the larger one in which is located off site kicks in $8000 monthly to the school. The on site Church, is rather large as well but pays for the utilities of the school and maintainance. The third church, is smaller and I don't imagine puts out as much, but financially helps the school in some way, nontheless. We would have to close if it weren't for the combined efforts of our churchs, unfortunately.

[Hermann the Cherusker]

Many people, even those who are very active in the church, simply pay no attention to the rules.

They might not now, but they will after death.

[SoothingDave]

When I went to a parochial school Mass attendance was mandatory. It was not an item for discussion, you attended every Sunday regardless! It was like a law, in fact I think it was a sin to miss Sunday Mass unless you were sick or had some very good reason. Did the RCC change the law? Can you skip Sunday Mass now? Just curious.

It was and is Church law that Catholics must attend Sunday Mass and on Holy Days of Obligation. This has not changed, but peoples attitudes towards obedience certainly have.

SD

[Hermann the Cherusker]

We have three sponsoring Churches, the larger one in which is located off site kicks in $8000 monthly to the school. The on site Church, is rather large as well but pays for the utilities of the school and maintainance. The third church, is smaller and I don't imagine puts out as much, but financially helps the school in some way, nontheless.

My urban Philadelphia parish pays over $1 million annually towards the running of its 950 child school - that's 3/4 of the parish budget -, which school educates around 2/3 of the children in the neighborhood and almost all of those belonging to the parish.

$8000 per month contribution is a joke. That isn't even $100,000 per year.

[Tax-chick]

Sometimes you just get a priest who's a crackpot.

[SoothingDave]

This is wrong,

Do tell.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says it is the Pastor's and the Parents responsibility to jointly teach their children.

Ok Found it, it's Number right form the USCCB Site.

Also, The Catechism of The Catholic Church states:
"1417 The Church warmly recommends that the faithful receive Holy Communion when they participate in the celebration of the Eucharist; she obliges them to do so at least once a year."

Throw that one back at the Pastor, demand from the Bishop of the Dioces that he require the Church to reenter these children of God.

The Pastor is now ignoring the Catechism of The Catholic Church and these parents should form up, and make a complaint first starting at the Parochial Vicar for the Diocese, before submitting it to Rome.

Huh? Are you arguing that this passage from the Catechism means you only have to attend Mass once per year?

Cause if you are, you are way off base. Catholics must attend Mass every Sunday and every Holy Day. They need not take Communion every time, but they are obliged to at least once per year.

It is possible to be in a state of sin and not yet been absolved and refrain from Communion. Ask your grandparents about it.

Everyone wants to be a canon lawyer.

SD

[maryz]

Beautiful and moving story. I'm glad you told us.

[Eva]

The problem is that the kids aren't attending mass if the parents don't go.

[fortunecookie]

I like that analogy. I think we're talking about the same thing. I was getting the impression that some were suggesting the door be slammed shut, but then I read more of the posts. I agree. I think the pastor is inviting those on the threshold to come in and participate fully. It's a tough spot, it is debated every year within our ccd system. There are some tough egos out there who think doors are being slammed on them and they can customize rules to fit their whims (not even their needs). Those parents/folks do need a wake up call. I don't know what the short answer is.

[mdmathis6]

What does being Catholic or not have to do with the Eucharist, its meaning and celebration. The Eucharist is the partaking of Christ's blood and body in remembrance of his sacrice for our sins indeed the sharing in that sacrifice for we have no life unless we eat of that body and drink of his blood(as He said to his disciples), arguements for or against transubstantiation not withstanding...the Holy Spirit sees such a partaking as supratemporally the same so that arguement is settled as far as I'm concerned. Yet such a partaking has no meaning save Christ resurrected....we share his body and drink of his blood enabling us to share in his resurrection....we do not find Christ amongst the dead...we find him amongst the faithful living!

Living the faith day by day, the frequent willing exposure of the inner self to the self of Jesus is where the rubber meets the road...whether you are Catholic, Orthodox or from the Primitive Baptist church around the corner from Bubba's garage in deep south Georgia!

So what part about Christ's death and resurrection are you saying I don't understand?