I didn't see anything from "The Outlaw Josey Wales," either.
Josey Wales: Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?
Jamie: I wish we had time to bury them fellas.
Josey Wales: To hell with them fellas. Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms.
Senator: Fletcher, there's an old saying: To the victors belong the spoils.
Fletcher: There's another old saying, Senator: Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining.
Bounty hunter #1: You're wanted, Wales.
Josey Wales: Reckon I'm right popular. You a bounty hunter?
Bounty hunter #1: A man's got to do something for a living these days.
Josey Wales: Dyin' ain't much of a living, boy.
Laura Lee: Kansas was all golden and smelled like sunshine.
Josey Wales: Yeah, well, I always heard there were three kinds of suns in Kansas, sunshine, sunflowers, and sons-of-bitches.
Carpetbagger: Your young friend could use some help.
[holds up a bottle of patent medicine]
Carpetbagger: This is it... one dollar a bottle. It works wonders on wounds.
Josey Wales: Works wonders on just about everything, eh?
Carpetbagger: It can do most anything.
Josey Wales: [spits tobacco juice on the carpetbagger's coat] How is it with stains?
OR from one of my all-time Top-Ten favorite movies, The Quiet Man:
Father Peter Lonergan, Narrator: Ah, yes... I knew your people, Sean. Your grandfather; he died in Australia, in a penal colony. And your father, he was a good man too.
Fishwoman with basket at station: Sir!... Sir!... Here's a good stick, to beat the lovely lady.
Michaleen Flynn: [on seeing the broken bed] Impetuous! Homeric!
OR from a classic that ought to be on Spike in regular rotation with the Fletch films, Police Squad, the Naked Gun films, and the Airplane films--Johnny Dangerously:
Roman Moronie:
I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel. You lousy cork-suckers. You have violated my fargin' rights. This suminonbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens, like me, could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin' ice holes, like yourselves.
OR from Real Genius, which I remember watching for the first time and thinking, "I would give a small fortune to come up with lines like that off the cuff,":
Chris Knight: Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?
David Decker: She happens to be my daughter.
Chris Knight: Oh. Then I guess you have.
Chris Knight: Do you mind if I name my first child after you? "Dipshit Knight" has a nice ring to it.
Dr. Dodd: Why is that toy on your head?
Chris Knight: Because if I wear it anyplace else, it chafes.
Chris Knight: Kent put his name on his license plate.
Mitch: My mother does that to my underwear.
Chris Knight: Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?
Chris Knight: This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.
Mitch: The weirdest thing just happened to me.
Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you were where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch: No...
Chris Knight: Why am I the only one who has that dream?
Chris Knight: If you think that by threatening me you can get me to do what you want...well, that's where you're right. But - and I am only saying this because I care - there's a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market that are just as tasty as the real thing.
Hathaway: I'm not kidding, Chris.
Chris Knight: Neither am I, Jerry, neither am I.
Chris Knight: So, if there's anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.
Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
Chris Knight: Not right now.
Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards.
Mitch: Did you know there's a guy living in our closet?
Chris Knight: You've seen him too?
Mitch: Who is he?
Chris Knight: Hollyfeld.
Mitch: Why does he keep going into our closet?
Chris Knight: Why do you keep going into our closet?
Mitch: To get my clothes - but that's not why he goes in there.
Chris Knight: Of course not, he's twice your size - your clothes would never fit him.
Mitch: Uh...
Chris Knight: Think before you ask these questions, Mitch.
Twenty [IQ] points higher than me and he thinks a big guy like that can wear his clothes?
Chris Knight: Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, when he said, "I drank what?"
Chris Knight: [to future employers] I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't want you guys to think I was stuffy. You know, no fun. All brain no penis.
Darlington Recruiter: You're Chris Knight, aren't you?
Chris Knight: I hope so. I'm wearing his underwear.
Real Genius was great!!! A million great lines from that one! (not to mention, Val Kilmer was a babe!)
"Roman Moronie:
I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel. You lousy cork-suckers. You have violated my fargin' rights. This suminonbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens, like me, could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin' ice holes, like yourselves. "
I thought I was the only one who watched this movie.
Dude, you forgot, "well Mr. Carpetbagger, we got somethin' in these parts called the Missouri Boat Ride". That movie, along with Heartbreak Ridge is full of memorable ones...except the Heartbreak Ridge ones are not exactly family friendly.
I enjoyed your post, but you need to get out more :)
Thanks for the Real Genius quotes! They still make me LOL.