A LOOK INSIDE THE MIND OF A GENERATION-X DESERTER (FUNNY AND MADDENING AT THE SAME TIME)

BUCKETFOOT-AL | 1997 | USAF SECOND LIEUTENANT 'MARK'

[Al Simmons]

Ever want to look into the mind of a Clinton-era ‘Generation-X’ slacker who ‘made a mistake’ by accepting a prestigious Air Force Academy slot and then just could not stand to serve out his 6 year military commitment? Well, the following would be hilarious if it wasn’t so sad (from the standpoint of our nation). Hopefully 9-11 has somewhat cured this kind of attitude amongst the younguns.

The following is the actual text of a handwritten letter left at his desk by a 24-year-old Second Lieutenant, a US Air Force Academy graduate, on the day he deserted from the Air Force and flew to Cancun, Mexico, in the middle of an Air Force training class in the late 1990s. He left it in an envelope on the outside of which were written the words:

‘WHERE’S MARK?’

“To my friends in the US Air Force,

I’ve decided to embark on a new adventure, and you may be wondering why. Actually, that’s a good question, and I’m sure my hand will cramp up and I’ll drift off before I’ve concocted a reasonable reply. How to distill this storm of ideas into some coherence?..

As of this writing I am an officer, an AF member, an (American) US citizen, a man, an artist, a mammal, and a sentient being, in that order. When the needs and longings of one of the deeper, richer levels cries out for fulfillment, I can deny it only a little while. I’ve tried, for two years willingly and for three years with growing disharmony, to play this role I scripted at the misimpressionable age of 13. (Oh USAFA admissions office, please turn away all future applicants who list an interest in art. Have mercy.) But when the raucous rhythms in my head drown out all trace of AFIT instructors and SV staff meetings, when the shelves of AFIs and “special” programs dissolve into puddles of gooey indifference, only I remain, a little boy standing at the edge of an emerald ocean, tickled by the breeze and smiling at the gulf, no longer even grasping why people spend their lifetimes staring into cathode ray tubes decoding the language of flashing lights and smattering printers.

Why? Whoever reads this – OSI, AFIT, SV, or others… Why? What the F—k are you doing it all for? Who cares? Will anyone remember you? Will you touch my life? Are you happy? If your light winks out today and the breath of life floats silently away, will you be able to say, “To my own self I was true?”

I sat in class today, reeling at the violence of the waves of irrelevance battering against the seawall of my purpose and felt the camel’s back break. Can I wait another 4 years and get out ‘honorably?’ Would that I were blessed with such patience. I am weak, irresolute, fluid, impulsive. I am no respecter of status, standards, precedent, or convention. I only want it all – is that so much? To sample every dish at the banquet of this world, to step lightly through a life without clocks and suspense slips and long staff meetings and short tempers.

I love you all. If you catch up with me I’ll buy you a drink, a toast to the freedom of a heart let loose, a toast to living in the delicious beauty of this moment. I apologize for the inconvenience my fugue may cause. I knew of no other way. I fear for my sanity (what remains of it.)

If ever you think of me, may it be to remind you that this life is yours. If you are not happy, you are the only one who can change that. Create the reality you dream of.

Do what you want with my stuff. I’m not coming back. I respect you for continuing in service to the AF and nation. I only wish that I had realized sooner that this is not my place. The shackles chafe at my wings. Give me liberty…

To the other students in SV101 – its been fun. Vince – I know what you’re grinning about. Bill – wake up, its 7:15. Steve – you’ve got a way with words. Lori – you’re married to a very lucky man. Peggy – Mark’s outta here! Damien – I’ll give you $10 US and a pair of Levis…Serge – remember that last conversation on personal ethics? And to all the other students, instructors, and friends, sorry for causing a commotion and I wish you the best in the rest of the course and your careers. Now I have a plane to catch!

MARK

(P.S. Now the Distinguished Graduate award is wide open!)”

POSTSCRIPT: The young man’s flight to live the life of a Central American painter (and he was a good painter, too) was cut short when the $$ ran out 3 weeks later, and he came back and turned himself in. He was placed in confinement pending his court-martial for desertion, dereliction of duty and theft (he paid for his plane ticket with his Government Credit Card.)

The 4-5 month confinement drove his whining to even greater heights, and he begged to just be dismissed from the Air Force.

The request went to the Clinton-appointed Air Force Legal Counsel, who approved the request and let the young man go to live the artist’s life, having shorted the AF $200K in education costs. (Don’t know if he’s managed to repay any of it yet, or if the Gov’t has pursued recovery).

All I know is that when he was merely dismissed instead of court-martialed, my general – the Convening Authority for the Court-Martial – was steaming “We used to shoot people for that in Viet Nam!” he said. (Maybe not exactly, but he was definitely not ‘touchy-feely’ like Lieutenant Mark.)

[T.Smith]

If we have to explain it to you, you wouldn't understand.

[Al Simmons]

*Ummmm....Did I *PING* you? If so, sorry.

In case you missed the point, Lt 'Mark' DID NOT do 'his time'. He escaped Court-Martial thanks to some Clintoon-appointed civilian lawyer in DC who recommended to the SecAF to discharge him in lieu of court-martial.

I have felt cheated ever since. I spent nights DROOLING over the prospect of reading his desertion manifesto to the military jury during my summation - and some fellow-traveler in DC robbed me of the experience by just kicking him out!!!

;-(

Besides, don't you ever read any of these posts for their humorous value?

[fr_freak]

Truly amazing at all the posts that bash this young man for making a life decision. Men and woman leave their spouses all the time. Which act of desertion has TRULY more of a devastating effect?

A lot of people don't think you should abandon your commitments, whether they are to a spouse or to your country, especially for such flighty reasons as this guy listed. If you can't understand why, then you're probably not somebody I'd ever trust.

[r9etb]

Funny how you signed in specifically to post that. My problem with this fellow is not that he came back, but that he's whiny and silly, and uses his feeeeelings to justify some pretty stupid comments.

[r9etb]

*Ummmm....Did I *PING* you? If so, sorry.

You didn't ping him. He has but one post in his entire (signed on today) history at FR....

[95 Bravo]

It's a shame this little puke didn't do time at Leavenworth, breaking big rocks into little rocks. At least six years worth.
But just remember- what goes around, comes around. He'll get his, somewhere down the line.

[Al Simmons]

"Why the negative spin? Be a part of the solution. Visit the mosque to make friends and learn deeper respect for an ancient, fascinating, complex, beautiful civilization."

He forgot to mention learning about getting a 'friendly' head-ectomy from his new 'friends'.

[stands2reason]

The Anglo-Saxon word for Narcissist was of course Cissy... not to be confused with the affectionate term for a female sibling, Sissy...

You have a source for that?

[Al Simmons]

Theodore Roosevelt used "Sissy" to signify a coward in his writings. He wasn't wrong about much.

[Luddite Patent Counsel]

There is an entire "lost generation" of us between the Boomers and Gen X. Too young for the sixties, not nearly grungy enough to be Xers, those of us born between 1954 and 1965 have been dubbed "Generation Jones". See details at http://www.jonathanpontell.com/aboutgenjones.htm

[Lekker 1]

What a wierd and stupid country we live in.

As an inanimate object that exists only in concept, our country cannot be "stupid"...only people within it. Are you suggesting that we have a monopoly on stupid people? Look around you. I'll bet the vast majority of the items and ideas that enrich your life were invented by the "stupid" people you refer to.

[stands2reason]

I know the word exists, I was curious about the derivation.

[saquin]

Uh, Gen Xers ARE the kids of baby boomers. Y comes after X, remember?

"Lodged between the older, attention-gulping baby boomers and the younger Gen Yers, Generation X is overshadowed by its siblings if for no other reason than their sheer numbers."

Yes, X-ers are between Boomers and Gen Y but that doesn't mean X-ers are the children of boomers. Most children of Boomers are Gen Y (I say "most" because there's always people who had kids really young or really old but they're not the norm).

I'm an X-er, born in 1970. My parents were born in 1936 and 1941, not Boomers but members of the "silent generation".

[sodpoodle]

Is that you Mark?

[Glenn]

read "bat boy" yet?

[Lazamataz]

Gues whose side he's on NOW?? Read what the traitorous little skunk says today:

Good thing he left. He would have compromised our forces.

"I wonder what it’s like to be a Muslim in the United States today."

Hey Mark: Simple solution. Muslims leave the US.

[sodpoodle]

Wikipedia

ThesaurusLegend: Synonyms Related Words Antonyms
Adj. 1. cissy - having unsuitable feminine qualities
effeminate, emasculate, sissified, sissy, sissyish, epicene
unmanful, unmanlike, unmanly - not possessing qualities befitting a man

[ConservativeGadfly]

Agree wholeheartedly with you. I was born in 1966, BUT, my parents were actually WWII generation parents -- that is, they were actually born in the 1920's. They had me when they were in their 40's. All their friends thought they were nuts.

It had its good points and its bad points. All those folks who are blithely having children late in life may not be considering all the finer points.

Like the fact that it was terrific having parents who were financially, socially stable in every way.....but my children have now been deprived of a set of grandparents and now, in my late 30s, I have no parents and a whole lot of things to deal with in the wake of their demise......that most folks deal with in their 40s, 50s and 60s with their parents' passing......

I was, for instance, about 24 years old, when my mother went down the Alzheimer's path. Not an easy road.