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Should We Let Slide the Goggle-Eyed Bride? - (too funny!)
TOWNHALL.COM ^ | MAY 8, 2005 | DOUG GILES

Posted on 05/08/2005 1:46:01 PM PDT by CHARLITE

Never has our nation been more united than in our current consensus that Jennifer Wilbanks is officially coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. I’m talkin’ coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. Y’know, we can’t seem to harmonize over Iraq, judicial nominees, or what to do with social security, but we have formally joined in one accord and have spewed our national coffee over the goggle-eyed runaway bride, aka, Jenny from Georgia. It seems as if this Georgia peach has officially begun to turn.

For what it’s worth, here’s what I propose we require of this damsel who’s hanging on by a thin wire: 1. I think we should not accept the apology she gave last Thursday until we get to see her self-inflicted hair-do. 2. I think she should also apologize to Hispanic men everywhere for accusing one of them of her feigned abduction. As a Caucasian male, I think I can speak for my Latino hermanos by saying … as if! Pamela Anderson, maybe. Jennifer Wilbanks … yeah … right. 3. I think her apology was a little thin on Thursday and didn’t do justice to the distraction she caused Gwinnett law enforcers from pursuing real missing persons and criminals versus looking for this spoiled ham. 4. In addition, I think for the next ten years Jenny should be forced to slog through Georgian bogs to look for any lost persons, pets, or coins without being afforded waders, a compass, a GPS, sunscreen, or Deep Woods Off. 5. Lastly, I’m sensing Jenny needs a good ole-fashion exorcism. And I think we deserve, if we desire, to watch it. Her Pastor stated that she needs some “spiritual counseling” and is going through a “rough time.” Ya think? It’s beyond that, my brother.

Jennifer … what’s up, girl? What were you thinking?

(Excerpt) Read more at townhall.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Philosophy; US: Georgia
KEYWORDS: bride; douggiles; duluth; georgia; hoax; investigation; jenniferwilbanks; runaway; wedding; wilbanks
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To: Mrs Mark

LOL


21 posted on 05/08/2005 2:40:45 PM PDT by TX Bluebonnet
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To: Continental Soldier
I'm with you on this. Seems the media would have much preferred a good old fashioned MURDER. Keep them busy all summer long!

As for Jenny from Georgia, this gal needs a long stay in a treatment center and her fiance needs our sympathy.

22 posted on 05/08/2005 2:41:32 PM PDT by OldFriend (MAJOR TAMMY DUCKWORTH.....INSPIRATIONAL)
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To: Lizavetta

'enhance' her goggleness'.


Sing it: & Jeepers...Creepers.... Where'd you get those Peepers?

Jenn Hen's not exactly Bette Davis eyes, ay?
More like Zero Mostels protrusions.


23 posted on 05/08/2005 2:51:19 PM PDT by tflabo (Take authority that's ours)
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To: Bon mots

Try it - her eyes follow you around the room, no matter where you stand.

It's creepy.


24 posted on 05/08/2005 2:52:02 PM PDT by ItsOurTimeNow (<------- New and improved profile!)
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To: CHARLITE
I think she's pretty.

I like a whacky girl... and hey, she enjoys travel.

25 posted on 05/08/2005 2:53:58 PM PDT by humblegunner
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To: CHARLITE

She needs a good husband that is serving time in prison.


26 posted on 05/08/2005 2:54:40 PM PDT by A CA Guy (God Bless America, God bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: ItsOurTimeNow
It's creepy.

Maybe she went to Nancy Pelosi's plastic surgeon...

27 posted on 05/08/2005 2:56:21 PM PDT by mewzilla
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To: OldFriend; Continental Soldier

As someone who has taken a ton of abuse myself over this story, I had to commend you on your posts.

First of all, both John and Jennifer are friends of mine, so there is a personal element to my response. Though it bothers me, I certainly can not respond in kind to everyone who spouts hatred, lies, and malicious words towards them in this. But let me clear up a few misconceptions on this thread, than I really need to stay away for awhile.

Someone does not believe you can be "so into your religion" as to follow a tenant of it for 5 years. I'd say that says more about the poster than John Mason, one of the most devout and God-fearing persons I know.

Same person says they have been sleeping under the same roof for years. Interesting, since they've known each other less than two, been engaged since last August, and within the last two or three weeks, she been moving her things in and occassionally staying the night while setting up the house. But why let the facts get in the way of a good hate-filled rant.

To question John's faithfulness to Jennifer or to God is laughable. He is the finest man I'm privileged to know. Even when everyone seemed to be accusing him of murder, he knew God's glory would evenutally shine in this. Jennifer is and will always be a friend, and whatever help she needs, I know she is on her way to getting it.

Why this story has captured the attention of the media and the public is beyond what any of us can explain. I have over 100 emails and FR mails that I will get to John soon expressing a lot of love and prayers and support. There are those on here that will continue to theorize and spread vicious lies; that will be between them and God. But I had to at least set part of the record straight, and say thank you for your clear-minded perspective on this.


28 posted on 05/08/2005 2:57:09 PM PDT by jsk10
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To: CHARLITE

On behalf of all buggy-eyed persons everywhere, I must register my deepest objection to this mocking of Jenny for her protruding ocular orbs. There are plenty of other reasons to mock her.

Signed, exDemMom, whose buggy eyes don't even point in the same direction, but at least she doesn't have to look at herself.

//liberal bleeding heart interlude officially over//


29 posted on 05/08/2005 2:59:29 PM PDT by exDemMom (Now that I've finally accepted that I'm living a bad hair life, I'm more at peace with the world.)
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To: humblegunner

and she enjoys those spontaneous, spur of the moment travel adventures.

Mmmmm...next time I read a dating profile of that description might raise a few red flags ay? (:

Me thinks she was taking the health advice; 'Run for your life' a little too seriously.


30 posted on 05/08/2005 2:59:44 PM PDT by tflabo (Take authority that's ours)
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To: CHARLITE

Her family lied when they said that this was not like her to run away.


31 posted on 05/08/2005 3:01:25 PM PDT by airborne (Dear Lord, please be with my family in Iraq. Keep them close to You and safely in Your arms.)
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To: Bon mots

It's almost like she has an adams apple!


32 posted on 05/08/2005 3:03:01 PM PDT by airborne (Dear Lord, please be with my family in Iraq. Keep them close to You and safely in Your arms.)
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To: jsk10

Well, do your best to keep the two of them together. Americans need the ongoing entertainment! They just get funnier and goofier by the day.


33 posted on 05/08/2005 3:04:59 PM PDT by Hank Rearden (Never allow anyone who could only get a government job attempt to tell you how to run your life.)
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To: Continental Soldier

**Maybe you ought to re-direct some of your outrage to those who deserve it, and not try to beat-up on the Willbanks girl just because the same moronic media has led you think that's the fashionable thing to do!**

Amen!

Too many nincompoop followers with a mind not of their own.


34 posted on 05/08/2005 3:05:44 PM PDT by Baraonda (Demographic is destiny. Don't hire 3rd world illegal aliens nor support businesses that hire them.)
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To: Continental Soldier

I agree. Lets leave the nut case alone.


35 posted on 05/08/2005 3:06:10 PM PDT by Ditter
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To: airborne

Her family lied when they said that this was not like her to run away.



The ol' gal run away before?


36 posted on 05/08/2005 3:06:10 PM PDT by deport (Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue....)
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To: MizSterious

You don't have to read the article to read the comments and leave a comment.


37 posted on 05/08/2005 3:08:29 PM PDT by Ditter
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To: CHARLITE
Sorry, but there's no consensus yet,--- not if anyone is counting me and a several others, anyway, who believe this woman's punishment far exceeds her transgressions.

This ought to be the time to discuss the popular media (the cable news channels, and the discussion boards).

Jenn is in a truly modern dilemma, turned inside out and humiliated like no one in history. We could have a death by the deep blush, here.

I am not a part of this consensus about her, when we know so little. Hell, even if it's all true, it's not so bad...

38 posted on 05/08/2005 3:10:54 PM PDT by withteeth
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To: nothingnew; fish hawk
Read what Fish hawk wrote!
"As soon as she finds out that she is pregnant from the guy she met in Vegas, she will be glad to marry this idiot that she ran away from."

I can't get away from the suspicion that she split out of sleepy, unexciting Duluth .........for Vegas, in response to an internet romance. There is much that isn't being revealed, and if the 2 families have their way, it will remain buried.

39 posted on 05/08/2005 3:13:02 PM PDT by CHARLITE (I have a fabulous harlequin Great Dane named "Lucy!" :))
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To: humblegunner
"I think she's pretty. I like a whacky girl... and hey, she enjoys travel."

Damn, you are easy to please.

40 posted on 05/08/2005 3:14:19 PM PDT by Feiny (I am the one that sent you all that spam.)
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