Posted on 04/13/2005 11:12:46 AM PDT by tuffydoodle
Mom not laughing at 911 dispatcher's 'joke'
By Leila Fadel
Star-Telegram Staff Writer
WATAUGA - Lori came home to find her daughters fighting that Monday evening. Her 12-year-old had kicked a hole in the door, and the girls were hitting and throwing things at each other. She feared one or both would be seriously hurt.
She called 911 and asked for help. Her 12-year-old daughter was out of control, she told the call-taker.
"OK. Do you want us to come over to shoot her?" the dispatcher asked, according to a recording released this week. For five seconds, the line went dead.
"Are you there?" the call-taker asked.
"Excuse me?" Lori said.
Mike Forbess, a dispatcher of five years for the Watauga Department of Public Safety, then told her he was joking and apologized. But Lori cannot get his comment out of her head.
"This is a slap in the face that my child was not important enough, my call for help, my 911 call was not important enough that he had to make a joke about it," Lori said Monday. She asked that her last name not be used to avoid identifying her daughters, one of whom has emotional problems.
Forbess immediately told his supervisor about the call. He received a letter of reprimand two days later. Forbess received a second letter of reprimand from Chief David Van Laar on Monday, the same day the Star-Telegram obtained a copy of the 911 call recording, and of Forbess' disciplinary records.
The mother, however, said her faith in the 911 system remains shaken. She said she plans to file a formal complaint.
"I do not have words to tell you how shocked I am that someone is allowed to do this," she said. "You don't do people like this, and then get a slap on the wrist."
In his letter to Forbess, Van Laar wrote: "This type of response cannot be tolerated, and this letter shall serve as notice that any future unprofessional responses while answering the 911 line will be cause for termination."
But the reprimand is not enough, the mother said.
The next time she has an emergency, she said, she won't feel safe calling 911.
"This man does need to be disciplined," Lori said. "How can a person in this line of work be so unfeeling that he asked a person who needed help, 'Would you like us to come over and shoot your child?'
"That's an interoffice disciplinary action," she said of the reprimands. "That doesn't do anything.
Van Laar made no excuses for the dispatcher.
"The reason I didn't take tougher action is, he immediately owned up to his supervisor and said he made a mistake," Van Laar said. "He's a good employee. He just made a severe mistake which is inexcusable. ... This is not something you should hear on the other end of a 911 call."
In an interview Monday, Forbess said he is sorry for his comment to the woman. In five years with the department, the dispatcher has never been disciplined for his handling of 911 calls.
Forbess has received two commendations from community members for his work. He was disciplined once with a written warning for working an unauthorized shift for a co-worker.
"I am so sorry for what I said to that lady, and I can never make it up to her," Forbess said. "I'm ashamed of my actions, what I said and what I did. I would take it back if I could, but I can't. I'm just very sorry that I did it. It was a poor choice of things to say."
Forbess said that he sometimes tells jokes or changes his tone of voice to ease the stress of a caller. In this case, he said, his words made the situation worse.
"I admit what I did. It was stupid, it was inexcusable and I'm sorry," Forbess said. "I know it's not enough for her or for the papers or for the rest of the world. I've taken the punishment that they gave."
Don't jump to conclusions. If you read the article, one of the daughters (I'm assuming the one who was out of control) has "emotional" problems. That often means people who due to some inborn wiring problem or chemical imbalance are prone to fits of uncontrollable rage that requires them to be physically subdued and then medicated.
And if the kid is 12 years old, it is entirely conceivable that the mother my not be able to physically handle her by herself. (Hint: This is why they hire big, burley guys at mental hospitals.)
A judge would have discretion to toss a frivolous suit.
Obviously, that dispatcher shouldn’t be working at a 911 center.
He should get a job at the suicide hot line.
Oh, geez louise, lighten up, Francis.
"A judge would have discretion to toss a frivolous suit"
Yeah, they need to do that alot more often.
I heard this call this morning on a Dallas talk show. You can hear the mother giggling at first and then the dispatcher makes his comment. He immediately apologized so I don't know what the big deal is. Actually I would have told her to call Dr. Phil! I'm sure we'll hear more about this, but I'm willing to bet that she is a frequent caller to 911 for such issues and is well known by the police department.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL......OH, YOU ARE BAD!!!
I agree. I don't think he should be fired. I made the comment that I think he WILL quit on his own, and find another job. Not that I think he SHOULD quit, but after all that he has been through, it would be understandable if he quit. I won't blame him. He will most likely do better in another type job.
Let's not be too hasty to criticize the mother. Maybe she's just a lousy parent, but maybe not. She says one of the girls has "emotional problems". Again, sometimes such claims are just an excuse for lousy parenting, but they can also describe severe disorders which can make a child uncontrollable. Some very dedicated parents make every effort to keep such children at home with their families, instead of institutionalizing them, and unfortunately in some cases that turns out to be a mistake, and someone else in the family gets seriously injured or killed. Maybe this is a mother who has to deal with something like this, and was really scared her other child was going to be seriously hurt. If so, calling 911 was perfectly appropriate.
Another FReeper (who has a mildly autistic child of her own) has occasionally mentioned the experience of a friend of hers, who felt obligated as a parent to keep her severely autistic son out of an institution. The family took all sorts of security measures, including locking the boy in his room at night when there was no one else awake to supervise him. But as the boy got older/larger/stronger, things got more and more difficult until one day, in a sudden violent outburst, he lashed out a younger sibling, causing a serious head injury and permanent vision damage.
Parents of children with serious mental disorders have a tough road in life, and often have real reason to be in fear for themselves or other family members. They live with a level of constant stress that most of us can't even imagine. Let's give this woman the benefit of the doubt, since we really don't know anything about the severity of her daughter's "emotional problems".
My full statement was "unless you want to invite a SWAT team into your house, you should not call 911 for a domestic dispute."
I do not believe this idiocy falls into that category.
Furthermore, as you said, cops hate domestic disturbance calls because they never know what they are going to encounter and are primed to respond to violence with violence.
The point the dispatcher was making was that, by requesting police assistance, she was defining this to be a situation in which somebody might get shot.
Thank you for a well-written, intelligent post. Parenting "normal" kids is a often a tough job, even more so with a child with mental health problems.
"I heard this call this morning on a Dallas talk show. You can hear the mother giggling at first and then the dispatcher makes his comment"
I personally didn't hear the call but if the mother was giggling, it just doesn't sound too serious.
Considering that the kid is basically a little punk, here's what would have happened had the mother taken your advice: the girl would have called 911 to report that her mother was abusing her. A SWAT team would have arrived, the mother would have been arrested, and the kid put into the foster care system. The case would drag through the courts, the mother most likely would be cleared and custody returned to the mother, but the little punk ass would now be emboldened to push her mother even further to the edge. And the mother would feel powerless to discipline the kid in any way.
Note that this is not a criticism of your advice, T_V, but an indictment of just how dysfunctional the child protective services organizations have become because of the p.c. concept of giving minor children the benefit of the doubt before giving the same consideration to parents. In a sane society (like ours once was), the rod would not have been spared and law enforcement would never have entered the picture. And the little urchin would have got it a second time when dad came home.
Folks wonder why there are declining birthrates in Western cultures - they should look no further than the left wing agenda of your friendly neighborhood government child protective services.
Psycho: "The name's Francis Sawyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you."
Leon: "Ooooooh."
Psycho: "You just made the list, buddy. Also, I don't like no one touching my stuff. So just keep your meathooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. And I don't like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you."
Sergeant Hulka: "Lighten up, Francis."
You are the 911 operator. Your response:
A. "OK. Do you want us to come over to shoot her?"
B. "Don't worry, The SWAT team will be there in 6 minutes"
C, "I hear you. Kids these days. But, what can you do?"
By calling the cops she was defining this to be a situation in which someone might get shot.
The dispatcher was, in an oblique way, trying to make her aware that calling the cops has consequences for all involved, and deadly consequences are a distinct possiblity.
Suppose the cops came and the girl came at them with a knife and they blew here away, as would be their right?
Then this idiot woman would be shrieking about how the police overreacted.
Actually, it's a slap in the face 'cause your a crappy parent who can't keep her brat under control.
Hell, we're all laughin' at your sorry @$$!
I do agree with your post, but i don't think that was the case in this instance. It would seem (I've never had to watch or care for children with special needs) that if the child really needed special attention the mother would have known who to call. Even if she didn't, I would have thought she would have handled it different something like"
"Hello 911"
"Yes, my son is breaking stuff and punching holes int he wall. He has (enter mental disorder of choice) and normally doesn't act this way, I need some help"
Bang, no joke, proper authorities are on their way.
Just the circumstances in the article as well as the reactions of the mother seem to point that she doesn't have a special needs child.
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