Posted on 04/10/2005 3:32:35 PM PDT by paltz
LOL!
There, you made me laugh!
:-)
I think you are right, but I still think that testing like I described is not uncommon.
Unfortunately, I think you're right on that score, too. I know too many chicks that have done it to dispute that. I just don't agree with playing the game, I guess.
There are decent women out there that aren't into playing stupid games like that. Unfortunately, they're a little older, on average, than most guys would like, lol. I think guys would be totally ecstatic if they could find a 40 year old's mind in a 17 year old's body, heh heh.
Well, there are worse offenses than this little testing thing that goes on. Women don't have it easy in selecting a good man. Besides the more jerky ones, there are many guys who are fakes, for example. Women also know that a man that is too agreeable is probably either conniving or too weak.
Tests like this are not all that bad, especially since I started being able to recognize them. I don't blame women for testing a man's mettle, though some go overboard on it and that isn't good (nor appealing to me).
Just stop right there.
- and I'm not even naked!
You in New Mexico ?...I did some work up near shiprock and the 4 corners. Beautiful country.....!
Stay safe !
You are sooo right about there being worse offenses! :) And yeah, it isn't easy to find a good man sometimes. (I got lucky when I was young!)
When I was dating a guy that was too agreeable, it definitely didn't pass the smell test with me. In my experience, it usually meant that they were conniving, not weak. The weak ones have a different sort of aura about them...I pitied them, really. The conniving ones just scared me.
One other thing...it's a piece of advice that was passed to me, and I think it's equally valid for men. Every failed relationship you've been in has one thing in common...you. It doesn't mean that the person has done anything wrong, or that they are a bad person. It may just be that they are dating the wrong sort of person for the expectations they have, that they don't REALLY know what it is that they want out of a relationship, or (as in my case) weren't demanding enough of themselves, or accepting less than what they deserve.
This isn't directed at you, HNY...I think I remember you saying on a different thread that you have a steady girlfriend. :) I'm just throwing it out there for consideration.
Are you saying you have a big dictionary?
this guy is full of it.. I have trouble finding a man who CAN conduct a logical conversation. All the wimped-out, feminist-deballed fellows I meet on the Left Coast want to talk about is their souffle recipes. I'd rather be alone forever than listen to such drivel.
Yea, the 'tests' are no big deal to me, really, unless they are overdone or overdramatic. Actually, it's a good thing since I began to recognize them - I just look at it as an opportunity to show the woman I have a pair of stones (without actually showing my pair of stones and getting arrested!).
Like I said, I don't blame women at all for using methods to get a small rise out of a man in order to see what he is made of. Quiet strength usually is the winning combo. Weakness is not attractive in a man nor a woman. Conniving is even worse - women know instinctively that in the courtship phase that a man who is too agreeable is probably hiding a bad nature. The genuinely nicer and genuinely more agreeable men suffer some blowback in this regard.
I work in self improvement and I use a variation of the remark you posted - 'Each of your successes have one common denominator - you. Each fo your falures have one common denominator - you.' A lot of people adopt a mentality that their successes are 100% to their credit, and that their failures are flukes and attributed to conniving, flukes, or otherwise placing blame on someone else. That is BS, and that kind of mentality leads to many problems in coping with life.
I have a galpal, yes, and we get along great. That being said, even after a couple of years together, I still field a test on occasion. Like I said, I look at it as an opportunity to show her I can't be pushed around, and I know that she admires a man who can't be pushed around. It satisifes both of us - that's the crazy world of romance!
Maybe it's just because they're really boring.
I look at the former as part of the basis for the latter. It's not limited to Christian upbringing, really. Honestly I think a lot of messages sent in our culture undermines a man's willingness to be a sexual creature. Some of it comes from very religious foundations of all flavors, and a lot of it comes from the very bad messages women (and our culture) sends to men regarding 'what women want.'
I love my mom a lot, but if I listened to her advice on courtship, I'd never have a second date. Women, for some reason, perpetuate the bad messages being sent to men on how to behave in a sexually appealing way.
For me, the cardinal offender is the idea that women somehow want a nonmasculine male. That makes no sense and hasn't much evidence to support it, yet every time a man camoflauges his sexual nature around a woman, it rears its ugly head. The result is too many frustrated males and too many unhappy women.
True.
I'm an intelligent woman married just a few weeks shy of 38 years and I can tell any intelligent man how to attract and marry an intelligent woman. This bozo article is garbage and so are some of the replies to it.
A lot of very simple rules apply and no one has yet mentioned any of them.
The trick is to get to know the other person, BEFORE launching into some convoluted discussion.
And here's another good hint....GET TO KNOW ALL ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON'S INTERESTS/HOBBIES. It will make for a lifetime of happiness for both. :-)
I agree with you and have no doubt you are sincere. That being said, a lot of what has emasculated men is well-intentioned (and some bad intentioned) advice from women regarding what women want.
So the advice that many women (not all women) give is cliched and hackneyed, more 'what they think women want,' as opposed to 'what women really respond sexually to.'
The two are not always consistent, and in fact often not aligned well at all. A lot of well meaning women give advice consistent with the former mandate, and not the latter mandate.
You bet they are !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)
This smart woman requests.....PUNCTUATION, please. Or rewrite the darned thing.
LOL! It's great when it all works out, isn't it? That's another dirty little dating secret, too, imo. A good deal of success in finding the right person is just luck. You can meet someone who-in almost every respect-is really awesome, but there is just that magic "something" missing. Then you meet someone else who has almost identical qualities, but they have "it"...that little spark that makes chemistry between you.
How depressing is that, when you have to ask the question, "What do they have that I don't?" and the answer is "I don't know, they just do. Better luck next time." Ugh. I'm so glad I'm married! :)
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