40 Most Awesomely Bad Love Songs

vh-1/viacom ^ | 3-02-05

[sully777]

What is the most awesomely bad love song ever? The one that makes you cringe when you hear it, but you just can't turn it off. What love song makes you shake your head, roll your eyes, laugh, gag, shed a tear, or just punch something because it's so horrendously great that you love to hate it. Or is it vice versa? VH1 is counting down the 40 Most Awesomely Bad Love Songs....The kind of songs that might end a relationship rather than enhance it. You get the drift.

Join us as we count down and celebrate fantastically cheesy lyrics, the best and worst metaphors, awkward and confusing themes, and of course, those strange, misguided flukes from our favorite artists, while our team of experts help explain why we've deemed these songs so (un)worthy. We've been covering our ears, shutting off the radio, and running from the room screaming for too long. It's time to ban these songs to our awesomely bad Hall of F(Sh)ame!

[Starter]

So when you hear it, every now and then, you fall apart?

(ducks)

[reagandemo]

ARRRRRGH!!!!

[sully777]

Total Eclipse of the Heart was another one of my brother's favorite targets:

"turn around/ fat thighs
every now and then/ they fall apart"

[reagandemo]

Now I have to clean to coffee off of my monitor!

[Preachin']

Captain & Tennille- "Muskrat Love"

Kenny Rogers & Dolly Pardon- "Islands In the Stream"

[null and void]

How about Bigmouth?

Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking
When I said I’d like to smash every tooth
In your head

Oh ... sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking
When I said by rights you should be
Bludgeoned in your bed

And now I know how joan of arc felt
Now I know how joan of arc felt, oh
As the flames rose to her roman nose
And her walkman started to melt
Oh ...

Bigmouth, la ... bigmouth, la ...
Bigmouth strikes again
I’ve got no right to take my place
In the human race

Oh, bigmouth, ha ha ... bigmouth, la
Bigmouth strikes again
I’ve got no right to take my place
In the human race

And now I know how joan of arc felt
Now I know how joan of arc felt, oh
As the flames rose to a roman nose
And her hearing aid started to melt
Eek !

Oh, bigmouth, la ... bigmouth, la ...
Bigmouth strikes again
I’ve got no right to take my place
With the human race
Oh ...

Bigmouth, oh ... bigmouth, la ...
Bigmouth strikes again
I’ve got no right to take my place
In the human race

And now I know how joan of arc felt
Now I know how joan of arc felt, oh
As the flames rose to a roman nose
And her hearing aid started to melt
Oh !

Oh, bigmouth, oh ... bigmouth, la ...
Bigmouth strikes again
I’ve got no right to take my place
In the human race
Oh ...

Bigmouth, oh ... bigmouth, la ...
Bigmouth strikes again
I’ve got no right to take my place
In the human race
Oh ...

Bigmouth

[Preachin']

That sounds bad...

Another one for me is "2 out of 3 Ain't Bad" by Meatloaf.

Also, that song from the late seventies called "Fire". Elmer Fudd's version took it up a notch, though.

[bert]

Well..... how about "It wasn't God that made Honkytonk Angels"

[Non-Sequitur]

1,068 posts and nobody remembers "Having My Baby" by Neil Sedaka? Does that mean that everyone else liked that miserable tune?

[null and void]

From The crazy world of Arthur Brown, IIRC...

[PleaseNoMore]

Barry Manilow is gay??

[rudy45]

Are any of these songs country? LOL

[muggs]

NO!

[dfwgator]

Well Clarence Carter obviously got over it, cause now he's "Strokin'"

I stroke it to the East
I stroke it to the West
I stroke it to the one
That I love the best.

[PoorMuttly]

Decades ago, it was certainly "Blame it on the Bossa Nova," especially the oft-repeated, cringingly flat...uh..."blue note."

[rwa265]

"Lou Christie - Lightnin' Strikes
Basically, about a cheating guy who wants his "girl" to wait for him to finish sowing his wild oats.

-PJ"

What I hate most about this song is how much I like the tune. I start singing along when it comes on the radio and then remember what a skunk the guy is. <;)

[rwa265]

Another one like that is "Love the One You're With"

[sully777]

Barry Manilow is gay??

---

I don't know if he notarized it official but according to VH1's Where Are They Now? Barry played piano for Bette Midler during her famous performances in the NYC gay bathhouses. Her nickname was Bathhouse Betty. VH1 did not mention his nickname but you can draw your own conclusions.

[Always Right]

Blister in the Sun by the Violent Fems was quite the awesome romantic love song.

[sully777]

Are any of these songs country? LOL

---

We saluted famous country songs as well, though VH1 concentrated on pop and rock.

I nominated Itty Bitty from Alan Jackson and others were keen on bilging songs from Kenny Rogers. I think they are in the 700's-onward posts.