License to Kim Jong Il
Posted on 02/01/2005 5:36:06 PM PST by Aussie Dasher
NORTH Korean leader Kim Jong Il will fall in love with US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and lead the world to terror kingpin Osama bin Laden's lair.
Meanwhile, he will kidnap a famous movie director and cast Hong Kong actor Chow Yun Fat in Asia's own James Bond film. These are among the more outrageous predictions of Hong Kong feng shui masters for the coming Year of the Rooster contained in a Chinese New Year horoscope published today by a leading bank.
Kim will also cheat death in a botched assassination plot, open up his reclusive Stalinist state's nuclear weapons plant to foreign tourists and lead the world to terror kingpin Osama bin Laden's lair, CSLA Asia Pacific Markets' annual survey of geomancers predicts.
"Kim Jong-Il will face some conflict and much excitement," the report, entitled Rooster Oracles predicts.
"Kim ... falls under the spell and in love with ... Rice," it continues. "She encourages him to develop tourism and ... (he) will seek to promote the unique selling point to travellers of being able to see how nuclear bombs are made."
While the predictions are more than a little tongue in cheek, they are contained in an annual report, now in its 14th year, that claims to have at least accurately predicted past economic trends.
"Last year we were remarkably accurate," said Chris Zee, investment analyst and self-proclaimed Wicked Sorcerer of the East, who put together this year's report after consulting several Hong Kong feng shui masters.
He claims last year's survey for the Chinese Year of the Monkey predicted a booming property market in Hong Kong and stronger oil and gold prices.
For 2005, Hong Kong's economy will grow at a robust six per cent, the US dollar will continue its fall, property prices will continue to soar and the stock market will have a roller-coaster 12 months, it predicts.
If much of this sounds a little too outrageous, however, take heed. A caveat in the report warns "don't take it all too seriously. Some may dismiss it as pure bull, but in securities and investment, bullishness often pays off".
Let's see if he can find and free John Adam first!
License to Kim Jong Il
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