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Married, without children: Finding fulfillment with no kids
Rocky Mountain News ^ | 1/3/05 | Mark Wolf

Posted on 01/03/2005 8:31:56 AM PST by qam1

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To: Aquinasfan

I said "should", not "could" ;~D


341 posted on 01/03/2005 10:47:26 AM PST by HairOfTheDog
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To: GOP_1900AD

You have to do what you think is best. Mr. Ex and I had to do precisely what you described in order for me to stay home with the children and still afford to live a decent life.

We are debating the homeschooling/private schooling idea right now. If we can't afford private school, I will probably end up homeschooling our children. We still have a little time to think about it. My soon-to-be five year old won't start kindergarten until the fall, and I doubt much harm can come to him until after that. At this point in their lives, we are our children's biggest influence.


342 posted on 01/03/2005 10:47:39 AM PST by exnavychick (Just my two cents, as usual.)
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To: Izzy Dunne

"no cultural celebratory template for those who decide to have no children"
---of course there is: I live in New Jersey and the NJ
Pine Barrens are named for these people.
====But seriously, what kind of half-assed special interest
mindset is at work here? Soon they'll be asking for tax credits for NOT bring more children into the world. (Somehow they already have it)


343 posted on 01/03/2005 10:47:54 AM PST by willyboyishere
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To: A Ruckus of Dogs

It' still very bad.
If someone is unhappy being a mother, what recourse does she have? She can't exactly quit, now can she.

Wanda Sykes has the best take on not having kids. "Kids. They're a lot of work - but they're worth it."


344 posted on 01/03/2005 10:48:04 AM PST by mabelkitty (Blackwell for Governor in 2006!!!)
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To: hopespringseternal

Quote: No society can be maintained with that sort of outlook.

Aren't you the salfish one.. wanting to make sure somone takes care of you in old age.


345 posted on 01/03/2005 10:49:37 AM PST by superiorslots
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To: superiorslots

Nice to meet you, superiorslots! We too have chosen not to have kids. We simply don't have the desire to have kids.

I can't believe that people here are so quick to call childfree couples "selfish." Some women don't have the desire to pursue a career, but no one calls them "selfish" for not having a career. Some people choose not to have pets, but no one calls them "selfish" for not having pets.

It's really quite simple. If you have no interest in raising children, then it's best not to have them. The ONLY good reason to have children is because you really want them. Not because you want someone to visit you in the nursing home. Not because it's what everyone else is doing. Not because you want grandkids.

We are not liberal, and I am not a feminist.

Face it, just because some of you find joy in having kids doesn't mean someone else will find it a joyful experience. And having kids doesn't make you any better than people who don't have kids.


346 posted on 01/03/2005 10:49:48 AM PST by Abigail Adams
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To: mabelkitty
So before the knee-jerkers start calling us selfish, just take into consideration - my income helps subsidize your child-rearing in more ways than one, and you get the immediately benefits of it.

They just come back and whine about how it is up to the Gummint to subsidize their CHOICE. It is just like welfare, only to a lesser degree. If it wasn't for folk like you and me (I calculated it would take 7 people at average income to replace my tax revenue, NOT ADJUSTING for the wear and tear they put on the system with kids that I do not) the schools would be a LOT worse off.

Let's be fair: Remove the child tax credit.

347 posted on 01/03/2005 10:50:12 AM PST by freedumb2003 (My DU name is Bunny Planet and I don't care who knows it! Everyone reveal yours!)
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To: winodog

Mine, too. :) Sloppy baby kisses are the highlight of my day. It makes up for cereal dumped on the floor and baby spit up on all my clothes. :)


348 posted on 01/03/2005 10:50:25 AM PST by exnavychick (Just my two cents, as usual.)
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To: hopespringseternal
In most cases, it is. Wanting only two children qualifies as well. No society can be maintained with that sort of outlook.

The only reason we need to keep growing the population in the US is because we have set up the social security pyramid scheme. Without an ever-increasing taxpayer base, SS falls apart.

Other than paying for the welfare state, there is absolutely no reason that we need anything more than replacement rate fertility in this country.

349 posted on 01/03/2005 10:51:06 AM PST by Modernman (What is moral is what you feel good after. - Ernest Hemingway)
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To: exnavychick

"we are our children's biggest influence"

Keep it that way. It will not hurt anyhting.


350 posted on 01/03/2005 10:51:25 AM PST by FreedomHasACost
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To: exnavychick

dirty diapers too


351 posted on 01/03/2005 10:52:09 AM PST by cyborg (http://mentalmumblings.blogspot.com/)
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To: freedumb2003

Or better yet, sue the government to remove it under the 14th Amendment.


352 posted on 01/03/2005 10:52:11 AM PST by mabelkitty (Blackwell for Governor in 2006!!!)
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To: cyborg
Anything is possible with God. Besides if a woman takes good care of herself she can have kids later.

Downthread from where you are, I gave a more detailed reason for our current decision to not have children, at 320. I know for the people in this article, its an "us" versus "them" thing. It isn't that way for me at all, just might not be something we want to do. I don't bring an agenda to the thread, except, there are lots of ways to live in life.

353 posted on 01/03/2005 10:53:07 AM PST by HairOfTheDog
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To: hispanarepublicana

You have raised a critical point. If we were to have an accident, so to speak, he or she would be our little blessing. We are starkly anti abortion even though we are still childless.


354 posted on 01/03/2005 10:53:08 AM PST by GOP_1900AD (Stomping on "PC," destroying the Left, and smoking out faux "conservatives" - Take Back The GOP!)
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To: MontanaCowgirlCop
It is funny to watch, sometimes, isn't it? In a way, I feel bad for people who think that all children are is a messy, annoying inconvenience. They're missing the bigger picture.

And before someone flames me, please note that I didn't apply that to childless people. There are plenty of people who have had kids of their own who think that.
355 posted on 01/03/2005 10:53:29 AM PST by exnavychick (Just my two cents, as usual.)
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To: Raycpa
I am thankful these folks don't have children and not just because they vote liberal.

Married over 20 years with no children ... both my wife and I are conservatives and vote republican. So your assumption that married couples without kids are liberals who drive a Volvo, and voted for Kerry doesn't hold water. In fact we have friends of many years, who, like us, didn't have children. They're strong Bush supporters ... they live in a very blue New England state.

356 posted on 01/03/2005 10:53:36 AM PST by BluH2o
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To: k2blader
I also believe married Christians are not required and should not be expected to have children.

What then is the purpose of marriage? What about the biblical admonition to be fruitful and multiply?

The purpose of natural marriage is two-fold: the mutual care of husband and wife, and the creation and care of children.

Christian marriage elevates marriage so that the two-fold purpose is the couple's aiding each other in attaining heaven, and the creation of children for the purpose of preparing them for heaven.

357 posted on 01/03/2005 10:53:37 AM PST by Aquinasfan (Isaiah 22:22, Rev 3:7, Mat 16:19)
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To: econ_grad

I'm one of those people who shouldn't have children. I didn't. Big deal.


358 posted on 01/03/2005 10:54:29 AM PST by Poser (Joining Belly Girl in the Pajamahadeen)
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To: Slyfox

That's true. If being surrounded on your deathbed is important, then you need to make sure you have a loving caring family. It is one reason out of many that people have kids.

Having children is the one thing that ANY man and woman couple can do. There is no license to get. There is no test to take. There is no fee to pay.

Anyone can do it. And there are a lot of people who have children and shouldn't. You are correct, it is not your place to decide for them. That's why we live her, and not China.

But you definitely have a stake in it from a societal point of view. Birth rates, tax dollars, crime rates, everything is tied into the "simple" act of child rearing.


359 posted on 01/03/2005 10:55:07 AM PST by rlmorel
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To: HairOfTheDog

Understood.


360 posted on 01/03/2005 10:55:48 AM PST by cyborg (http://mentalmumblings.blogspot.com/)
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