Posted on 11/05/2004 11:52:42 AM PST by iheartusa
There is an unspoken taboo in our society where if you admit that having kids wasn't quite what you thought it would be and that if you could do it all over again that you would have chosen NOT to have kids, that you are a monster, an evil, despicable monster. The truth is a large percentage of parents HATE being parents. They will never say it out loud and they can't even admit that to themselves because "only an evil demon" would come to that conclusion, they think. However, underneath it all, underneath all the B.S. is the truth that we all know: Children are overrated. For every precious moment where the little brat does something special, there are 1,000 moments where they drive you crazy. They literally tear your life upside down. Marriage, sex life, your wives appearance, your social life, the list goes on and on and on. Oh yeah, the worst part is yet to come - the teenage years. I could write volumes on this subject. The reason people have children is because of this unwritten societal norm where the standard is to get married and immediately begin to produce offspring because "that's the thing to do". Here's another fact for you if you're interested in the subject: the highest points of martial satisfaction are: 1) after the kids leave and 2) before the kids were born. Look it up, it's true.
I decided not to have kids or a wife... And haven't regretted it one bit!!! I look at all my sorry faced friends straining to make ends meet, having the endless honey do lists, soccer games, Dr bills, bitching, whinny little brats, debt up their asses!!.....and me....well I focused on work and saving money and have no debt, date all different kinds of women, no strings attached, buying a brand new custom house that my friends and family can only dream about, and will be able to retire at 45..... Yea, I may grow up old and have no one but look....most of you will be divorced and so broke after raising kids, alimony, child support, kids college...that you will have nothing to show for it when you are 65 and still have to work till your are dead......sorry thats reality. My relatives have given up asking. They know better. Then someone always pulls me aside and says, "I would love to have your life".
I think most people end up having kids because 1) They're too stupid to know how to use birth control properly and/or 2) They have an idealistic, completely unrealistic vision of what parenthood entails. People imagine dressing their daughter in pretty clothes, or playing catch with their son. They don't think about being awoken at 2 a.m. by a sick, screaming kid who just threw up all over the bed, and who doesn't give a shit that you have to get up for work in four hours. They don't think about the mortgage company threatening to foreclose, or the electricity being shut off, because the husband can't pay all the bills on one income. More people should think about these things, and fewer people should be having children. Parenthood should be left to those few couples who are willing to take the good with the bad.
NoMarriage.com manual will help you determine if you are ready and want to have children in the near future.
Very true.
It should be left to professionals. I'd even go so far as to require parenting licenses.
Huh? What happened to liberty? A better approach would be to promote a cultural norm in which people assume they need to develop themselves and their understanding of how to raise children, BEFORE they have children. Currently, the cultural norm seems to be, if you're married it's time to have babies, even if you're still immature and irresponsible yourself. Many people imagine that having children will cure immaturity and irresponsibility, but usually it doesn't, and when it does, it's usually only at a huge and irreversible cost to the children involved.
bump
Our children are so precious, I try to never forget that.
My wife and I didn't want children and we haven't had any. Our choice, and it's no one's business but our own. You want to have children, have at it. We don't, and we're haven't, and we're not going to, and we're fine with that.
My sincerest condolences on the loss of your son.
You and your wife are in my prayers.
Getting married in modern America is just asking for trouble.
I never had them either. Never had the desire too....I never had any patience when they are around me....
I have seven children........five boys, two girls.......from ages 3 to 25. All but the little guy are teens or in their 20's.
I cannot imagine my life without any ONE of them. Literally. This guy's a selfish moron, pure and simple.
I'm not a parent so I can't comment on it.
But, I can say that as a child of two parents whom I love more than anyone else on Earth, if I woke up and saw this article with my father's byline, I would kill myself.
You are in my prayers. My rant seem so trivial now.
most of the time, you never know what you had until you lose it.....
Okay. But if I spend my working life, non-parent that I am, paying for other old folks it's only fair that I get the same benefit out of a system that I'm paying into now. That's what I'm saying.
Dr. Darwin gets them in the end. :)
I think there has been a gross over reaction to this article.There is nothing evil or selfish or sad about not likeing kids.There is also nothing smart or superior about it either.Some people don't even know how they feel about it until they've had a few.My wife really loves children I mostly think they're a nuisance, guess who ends up cleaning up after them most of the time and paying for most of thier crap.You don't even have to like kids to be a good parent, I suppose it helps but I wouldn't know.
This guy is an absolute moron. Check it out, he's convinced that "a large percentage" of parent wish they'd never had kids, but he himself has no clue, as he's childless. I would say that almost all parents I know would do it all over again if they could. I can't imagine life without my children, they're the most important things in my world.
Sure, but depending on how old you are, there is a very good chance that you'll never see a penny of SS.
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