Mark Steyn: Edwards Has a Little Growing Up to Do

The Chicago Sun-Times ^ | October 10, 2004 | Mark Steyn

[quidnunc]

In the vice presidential debate, Republicans thought Dick Cheney won and Democrats thought John Edwards won. I can understand both those judgments. In the first presidential debate, however you measured it, George W. Bush performed badly. But in the clash of veeps it was as if each contestant was playing his own game: One guy was playing a tennis match, the other football. If you thought you were watching the Super Bowl, the football guy was clearly the winner. If you thought you were at Wimbledon, the tennis guy was serving aces.

One way to understand their isolation from each other is to picture each one trying the other's game. Imagine John Edwards gruffly running through cool hard-realist evaluations of just the facts, ma'am. Imagine Dick Cheney wallowing in mawkish hardscrabble anecdotes about his impoverished dad sitting at the kitchen table. In fact, Cheney had an impoverished dad, he just doesn't flaunt him the way Edwards does. I loved Cheney's performance because I think he's in tune with the times: grown-up, unflashy, deadly serious. Edwards, on the other hand, driveling on like a Depression-era sob sister about the ''bright light'' of America now ''flickering'' is one of the funniest acts I've seen. I thought he was supposed to be a slick ambulance-chaser, like Richard Gere in ''Chicago,'' but apparently he prefers the Little Mary Sunshine role.

-snip-

[savedbygrace]

And yet, if you're as invested as the Democrats are in reconstructing the cardboard facade of Sept. 10, I can understand why you'd think Pretty Boy did a grand job last Tuesday. That's what my tennis/football analogy boils down to: One team's playing by Sept. 11 rules, the others are running a Sept. 10 campaign. I find it hard to believe that 51 percent of folks in states totaling 270 electoral votes are willing to cast a delusional ballot to return to the fictions of Sept. 10. But, if they are, so be it. If a majority of Americans want to pretend that the U.N. isn't a sewer of corruption and that the French are America's allies, not Saddam's, well, we'll just have to live with the consequences.

This is a great paragraph, summing up the current political situation completely.

[AFPhys]

The strongest force in international affairs is inertia. It's everywhere: a continuous pressure from the U.N., the EU, the Chinese, the Arab League, the State Department and half the federal bureaucracy to do nothing about anything -- do nothing about the Sudanese genocide until everyone's dead, do nothing about Iran's nuclear program until it's complete and the silos are loaded, do nothing about anything except hold meetings and issue statements of concern. To resist the allure of inertia will require enormous will, not just from the president but from the American people.

Though this wasn't really the major topic of his article, this statement is a noteworthy one. /

[AndyJackson]

There are enough coats available at Protestant Church rummage sales

I have had to toss out bales of clothing because charities have no use for them. My family alone could have kept that girl in coats for the rest of her natural life.

[AndyJackson]

a continuous pressure from ... half the federal bureaucracy to do nothing about anything

Dead on. How does Steyn come up with this stuff article after article.

[pointsal]

Where are the great white sharks when you really need'm?

[SERKIT]

"...driveling on like a Depression-era sob sister about the ''bright light'' of America now ''flickering'' is one of the funniest acts I've seen."

I saw that, too. Man, now THAT's some wild-eyed optimism isn't it? Really attractive...

Not only was this a shameful display of pessimism about our great country, but it was contradicted by Kerry last night. Those two can't get on the same message because their campaign is in shambles. Each day they have a different message that seems to be brushed aside (because it didn't "work"), making way for yet another lame message.

[Rummyfan]

I think the Edwards smarmarama is ridiculous. It's all about oil, as the anti-war lefties say, and on Tuesday night the oiliness was practically oozing through the TV screen and all over the floor. If every Democratic candidate was as unctuous and oleaginous as Edwards, gas would be 50 cents a gallon and we could tell the Saudis to go to hell.

Alright!!!!!

And yet, if you're as invested as the Democrats are in reconstructing the cardboard facade of Sept. 10, I can understand why you'd think Pretty Boy did a grand job last Tuesday. That's what my tennis/football analogy boils down to: One team's playing by Sept. 11 rules, the others are running a Sept. 10 campaign. I find it hard to believe that 51 percent of folks in states totaling 270 electoral votes are willing to cast a delusional ballot to return to the fictions of Sept. 10. But, if they are, so be it. If a majority of Americans want to pretend that the U.N. isn't a sewer of corruption and that the French are America's allies, not Saddam's, well, we'll just have to live with the consequences.

True. If the people can't see thourgh these two frauds then Lord help us.

[Let's Roll]

Chimney sweep in the robber baron's mansion was my favorite too.

[libs_kma]

It was in another post about the debate last night when the inevitable "I-have-a-plan-its-on-johnkerry.com" spiel came out. I think it was healthcare. Well, our freeper brother copied and pasted the whole of Lurch's 'plan' from the website and it was a bunch of platitudes and used as many words as possible to say absolutely nothing.

I guess thats good enough for Lurch's following, but if I were them I would be severely disappointed

[earlyamerican]

That paragraph was hysterical. I still can't stop laughing. Mark Steyn is priceless.

[cubreporter]

little johnnie E is trying to be RFK with those little phrases...he's a dufus and besides he kept drinking his water and kept sticking his tongue out after like he was gonna catch some if it dripped. It was rather humorous. Then he would cock his head. Then his eyes would become little slits as he listened to President Bush and well, it was just humorous. Edwards not only lost he lost big time besides...the debates don't change anything for me nor do they change anything for anyone else who is voting for Bush./ The undecideds at this point just don't know anything about anything.

[BibChr]

Thanks for posting this.

[Dog Gone]

Thank you for the real post.

[Irene Adler]

"If the people can't see thourgh these two frauds then Lord help us."

The fact that they didn't see through the clintons was profoundly sobering for me.

[okie01]

Did anyone actually believe that little anecdote about Edwards' father watching late night tv to learn Math?

Given that Edwards' dad was not the benighted and disadvantaged millworker of myth, but was instead the Production Manager of said mill, I rather doubt the veracity of the anecdote.

[Defiant]

Thank you for the post. The grown ups will remain in charge for the duration. Steyn is a little down, but he need not be.

[kingu]

Thanks for posting the full text of the article, it really helps for people on dialup.

[JeffersonRepublic.com]

"In time of war, free peoples don't stay free if they look to a smooth-talking shyster-president to shelter them in the embrace of the nanny-state."

This should be printed on the front of every voting booth.

Holtz
JeffersonRepublic.com

[alwaysconservative]

So, when John Edwards starts doing his John-Boy Walton routine, I say put a sock in it. If necessary, borrow a sock from the coatless girl, if her dad hasn't sold her socks to raise the trolley-car fare to send her for an interview for the chimney sweep's job at the robber baron's mansion on the other side of town.

This was just about my favorite line!

[alwaysconservative]

I also worry that Steyn was a little too sanguine on this point, and that people are not focusing on the important issues in this election (fighting the WOT) because they are uncomfortable with the realities of September 11. A promise by sKerry to return to September 10 is simply suicidal, imo.