Posted on 09/23/2004 7:04:45 PM PDT by SLB
She lives in a small town in Tennessee, or in a subdivision in North Carolina, or on a ranch in Montana .
She may be 15. Or, she may have graduated from college. Either way, the odds are no boy has ever paid much attention to her. She may wonder if she will ever get married. She is lonely.
What’s her problem? The answer is simple: She is different.
She doesn’t particularly like being different. She may tell you that she doesn’t care; but she does.
Her peers think she is a snob. Her mom says the reason other girls don’t want to be around her is because they are jealous. That doesn’t help much. So she tries to be friendly and kind but that doesn’t help much, either. She may be shunned by other girls and ignored by boys.
She is different. And who wants to be different? Nobody likes others who are different and nobody likes being different.
I have met hundreds of homeschooled girls like this around the world. Each girl thinks she is the only one who is having these experiences. But, there are thousands just like her. If they ever find one another, there would be a huge group hug. And, yes, probably lots of tears. They would finally have found others like themselves who aren’t interested in what girls normally think or talk about. Their talk wouldn’t center around boys or movies or how stupid some other girl is. They would talk about their families and about what interests them and about God and about Jesus. They would pray together and for one another.
That girl from Tennessee who is 15. She’s actually 15 going on 21. She seems to have skipped the teenage years altogether. The girl who has graduated from college without meeting her future husband has been told many times not to worry. “Mister right” is just waiting somewhere in the future. She struggles to believe it and to trust God for her future family.
These girls are different. Not because they wear Christian hairdos or clothing. It really has little to do with externals. But it has everything to do with their Father and what He has done inside them. They are just different, whether they like being different or not. Everyone can tell.
One day I was trying to understand this regarding a young girl who was a friend of my son. All at once the Lord showed me a kind of vision about this girl. Here’s what I saw:
The girl was in her Baptist Sunday school class. All the kids were sitting in a circle. Just then I saw Jesus open the door to the room. He walked directly to this girl and held out His hand to her. She took His hand and got up from her chair. Then Jesus took her out of the class and closed the door. I understood Him to be saying, “This girl doesn’t belong in the same way other people belong. I have made her exclusively Mine.”
I knew this didn’t mean she would never have a family or always be by herself. But the Lord made me understand that He is using the home schooling movement because it is the easiest context in which to raise young people who can be truly “different.”
Why do I keep using the word, “Different”? It is because of the origin of that word. The word “different” is the most exact translation of the Greek work, HOLY (hagios). These kids are different in that the Lord has placed in them something which makes them holy unto Him. They are not really trying to be this way. It’s something He has done. He has separated them from the kind of things normal young people find important. They may struggle with what God has done. They may be terribly lonely. But they ARE different and it is the work of God, Himself.
It is not easy to encourage these girls. Loneliness is no fun and being different can be a real bummer, too. Telling someone to “have faith” can sound pretty shallow, even though it’s the truth. The girl who graduated from college and never had a boy who was a friend ended up meeting “the man of God” she had always dreamed about. They are married now. Another is still waiting, praying for faith to believe it will all turn out as her heart hopes it will.
This is a holy generation. It is a generation set apart unto Him. It is a generation of young people the world has not seen in so long it doesn’t remember what real holiness looks like. The purposes of God rest on our children being willing to walk “in the world” but, at the same time, separated from it. The world waits for a people to show them that a relationship with Jesus isn’t a religious put-on, but is worth giving their lives to, too.
Our girls have been created by the Lord to show everyone what the Bride of Christ looks like, sounds like, acts like, believes like. It can be a burden, but it is precious. We need to deeply respect our girls for what they have been called to be. They need to be encouraged to understand who they are to a world (and, yes, even to a Church) who desperately needs to see the kind of “Lady” Jesus is returning for. We need to give them a vision for who they are that is deeper than simply saying to them, “the other girls are jealous of you.”
You are so right!
This is Gods example to us of Biblical Romance and marriage.. it's really spectacular!
It's funny because NONE of the homeschool kids I know fit this profile. My daughter is growing into something along the lines of a "South Park Republican" and my son is turning into the Great White Hunter.
Last month my daughter (12) entered public school for the first time in 6 years. She's one grade level ahead of her age group, the smallest one in her class and fits in with the other kids socially just fine. She growls at the boys for swearing in front of the little kids, sits giggling with friends at lunch and grumbles over homework. All-in-all, she's a normal, good kid.
Next year she'll be back home to start highschool (she doesn't want to "piddle around" with it) and she'll have friends that she'll meet at the mall or the pool. Homeschool kids are not "freaks". Most of them are normal kids who have access to a better-than-average education and aren't subjected to the Lord of the Flies environment quite as much.
(I don't want to repeat what she had to say about this article! lol!)
I found it depressing and uplifting at the same time. Depressing because it touts only the home schooling Christian. Uplifting because home schooled kids are magnificently different.
I have home schooled for 12 years. My eldest at home wanted to go to public high school. We let her. She’s an honor roll student and different—she thinks her peers are idiots. We don’t go to church. I believe in God and her father is an agnostic.
Hi,
Would you help me post this and notify the ping list again, I'd like to share an example of Biblical Romance, of two Christians, who both support the homeschool movement, and Gods spiritual leading of individual lives.
Here's part of it, and a link to the rest!
Matthew & Maranatha Chapman were married in 1988. They consciously purposed to offer their lives and wedding as a demonstration of their understanding of the relationship of the Lord Jesus and His bride. For them, being made ready themselves for the Lord as members of His bride, and helping other Christians in doing the same, is what they believe their calling in life and ministry to the body of Christ to be, and they wanted this expressed and demonstrated in the way they approached their marriage.
http://www.boldchristianliving.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=9
Thanks,
your sister in Christ,
CourtneyLeigh
I think the idea painted that most homeschooled girls are lonely and outcast is wrong.. and what the heck is a "christian hairdo" ??
I forget, are you talking about homeschools or public schools?
Get over it. It's human nature to feel like your way is the right way and everyone else is just stupid for not seeing it. Nobody has the market cornered on arrogance, there is enough for everyone.
Well, I'm genuinely curious, what is your point, then? If you don't approve of public schools and are now not confident in homeschoolers, what alternative do you support as being synonomous with quality education, i.e., private schools?
The case you cite is indeed sad, I'm sure all here would agree. However, as I said, problems will be found anywhere in life. Some parents are just flat-out bad parents, regardless of method of schooling. However, with standardized tests, stats on community involvement as adults, etc., increasingly pointing to the majority of homeschoolers being successful, I'm not sure why you would argue that home schooling is not necessarily synonomous with quality education. Of course it will not be in every case. Nor will every private or public school education be excellent. 100% success is unlikely in any educational arena. Comparing apples to apples, however, overall home schooling is looking to be quite a success. I honestly think we're talking more, in the case you cite, about flat-out bad parenting, which can happen no matter what the method of schooling.
With best wishes --
Yeah, but your "Biblical Romance" analogy can go waaaay too far. I've heard girls whose testimonies basically amount to "my boyfriend ditched me and I'm lonely, but it turns out Jesus is like, the best boyfriend ever!!" Most of them weren't homeschoolers, but we need to remember that it's the church that's the bride of Christ, not individuals.
As to your other post - I have no intention of entering into a relationship unless I think marriage is at least a possible outcome. But criticizing kids for losing their hearts - which are hard to control - while maintaining physical and moral purity, is wrong.
Please don't take any of my words critically. I do not mean to attack you or your positions, merely to bring up points which I think should be at least mentioned.
Defensive... yup. I don't know of a homeschooler that hasn't been attacked either by relatives and/or strangers for HSing. Sometimes it's only a gentle question of our judgment and an implication that we're screwing up our kids. Sometimes it's an out-and-out accusation of child abuse. It's scary to homeschool in this environment.
Arrogant? Possibly. It's probably more along the lines of righteous. Subtle difference. With the constant feeling that you're about to be gouged (yet again) at any moment, you tend to look for validation where ever you can. After a few years of this pattern, you do feel righteous. And don?t forget the HSing is HARD. If we didn?t feel strongly that it was the right thing to do, we?d give up after a few years.
.It is biblical, and is not just something to take as a story. It's mentioned in the Bible more than once, and before the 18th century, most women would've been ashamed to have had even collar bone length hair.
****The girl was in her Baptist Sunday school class. All the kids were sitting in a circle. Just then I saw Jesus open the door to the room. He walked directly to this girl and held out His hand to her. She took His hand and got up from her chair. Then Jesus took her out of the class and closed the door. I understood Him to be saying, “This girl doesn’t belong in the same way other people belong. I have made her exclusively Mine.”****
This person is insane or posessed. He is the same person in Utah who tells his daughters that Polygamy is God's way as he sells them to his cousin down the road in return for some fresh new meat to carve from one of his other 'godly' buddies.
ANYONE who tells you that Jesus talks to them directly is a false prophet. I guarantee it.
I went through several churces where Jesus spoke directly to members of the church. Madness and all manner of evil tore through the body in every case and destroyed that church. Even killing some of the members. (Women who married 'ex' gay men because Jesus spoke to them and told them to do it.)
Jesus spoke directly to the Apostles and that was IT. The rest of us must die before we know him as they did.
(I think home schooling is just fine if managed by rational godly people.)
so I'm still a little confused..what are we supposed to do with our hair??? I've got fairly long hair... how should I wear it or should I cover it?
:o(
When did I criticize kids? I was never criticized. It is hard to keep our hearts, which is moral purity. And also keep physical purity. Especially when the Bible says what we think in our hearts is as much a sin as acting it out.
But I never criticized anyone.
Jen,It's not an analogy, it's Gods word!
Jesus isn't my boyfriend, lady, He's my father in Heaven, and He holds the key to my heart, any man who wants me, must pray to the Lord about whether or not, we are to have relations outside of Christian Brotherhood.
And no, most of them weren't homeschoolers, I wasn't.
I don't really know how to respond to the self-righteous hostility in your posting.
My contention is that somebody who thinks there is a "Christian" hairstyle is already too far gone for reason to reach. They demand tolerance for their views, but the implication in this statement is that other people's views are less than acceptable. They hint at their own intolerance while decrying someone else's intolerance.
The only comment the Bible makes on hair is that men should keep theirs shorter (I Cor. 11:14) and that women shouldn't show off with fancy braids, etc. (I Tim 2:9, I Peter 3:3). The only rule mentioned about dress is an admonition against extravagant displays of wealth (I Tim 2:9, I Peter 3:3).
My "antennae go up" (as Ann Coulter is so fond of saying) whenever I hear someone state or imply that God has made a special revelation to them. And I prefer my Christianity to be rooted in fact and reason, rather than emotionalism and mysticism, thank you.
As far as your "Damaged Goods" line goes - get over yourself. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." There's no one in the fold that isn't damaged. Most of us don't get into public displays of self-flagellation over it.
We are indeed a strange and peculiar people. Some may even say...different?
I would be thrilled if my two homeschooled young men would court and marry a young lady like the woman mentioned in the article.
It isn't for anyone else, except your husband. The New Testament says long hair is for women, for the head of the family is the Man, and the head of man is Christ. However, when we venture alone at times, with just our children, or out shopping or something, it is often practiced to have a hair barrette or cloth on a small pony tail as a symbol of coverage.
My family and I didn't feel God asked this of us, so I only keep the pony tail, unless I'm with a Christian brother(immediate family).
And really, it's between you and the Lord, how you will covet His communication with you as a woman.
A Christian elder once said, this is what I believe God would have my family to do. It may seem extreme, but I've seen more extreme, and less extreme acts amongst my Brothers and Sisters in Christ!
And just like many cultures find it vain to perform full body baptism, (which is a symbolic act of salvation), many find this act of "christian hairdo" also vain. However, it's really no one elses business, it's just Gods business!
There are other scriptures other than the ones you mentioned, in the New Testament:
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.