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(Sung to the tune of Ground Control to Major Tom):

"Spin Control to Major John
Spin Control to Major John
Pay your botox bill and put your pink tie on
Spin Control to Major John
Commencing campaign, fake smiles on
Check your flip-flops and may blind luck be with you."

(spoken) Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three (purple hearts), Two, One...

"This is Spin Control to Major John
You've really made the news
And the papers want to who cuts your hair
Now it's time to ditch the Clintons if you dare."

"This is Major John to Spin Control
I've really got 'em fooled
And the Blacks and Jews - they'll throw their votes away
But the polls look somewhat ominous today."

For here
Am I looking like a Clymer
Down go my polls
Guess I’ll move to France
while Edwards chases an ambulance.

"Though I've fell 10 points behind George Bush
I still think it's a go
And I wonder if Edwards thinks we've jumped the shark
Tell the Democrats I’ll lose the race -they know."

"Spin control to Major John
Your campaign's dead, there's something wrong
Do you concede now, Major John?
Do you concede now, Major John?
Can you hear me, Major John?
Can you...."

For here am I shuffling through my mansion
Far from ol' DC
Bush has won term two
And there's nothing I can do.