Posted on 05/11/2004 8:39:01 AM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross
Homeschool Horror Divinely ordained education, taught by martyrs
BY QUINN COTTON
You know how there are terrorist cells embedded throughout the world? Well, in my neighborhood we have numerous "homeschool" cells humming in the cul-de-sacs. They're almost as scary as the terrorist ones in some ways -- and they definitely have some traits in common with them.
When we first moved to Charlotte, the houses next to us, behind us, and diagonally across the street all contained children who mysteriously never seemed to leave home, and mothers with glazed expressions on their faces. The whole set-up of moms stuck with their school-age kids 24/7 gave me the willies, and that was before I even had one of my own.
Middle class areas seem to be magnets for little suburban schoolhouses. Even though there must be homeschooling pockets all over Charlotte, somehow I don't picture your basic Ballantyne babe risking breaking a nail on a chalkboard in the bonus room, or skipping a tennis set for an educational excursion to the sewage plant. Likewise, I doubt many Belmont moms miss a beat packing those kids off to public school. It's the middle class that gets suckered into the myth that mothers and older children can survive being together all day without somebody being strangled. The true "haves" and "have-nots" know better.
What's scary is that a lot of the homeschooling faithful are as fueled by a fanatical, religion-based belief in their mission as Islamist terrorists, and seem to be just about as brainwashed. Sometimes I even wonder if they're a manufactured race along the lines of the Stepford wives in Ira Levin's book, but assembled in fundamentalist Christian churches instead of family basements. Like the Stepford robots, they're programmed to fulfill their husbands' fantasies, only in this case it's their role as the Ultimate Selfless Mothers.
Other times I feel like the heroine in another famous horror story by Levin, Rosemary's Baby, at that chilling moment when she puts together the anagram "All of Them Witches" and realizes it refers to her seemingly harmless neighbors. Some of the homeschooling moms (HMs) are kind of witch-y, with the uncut hair and the long skirts because pants on females are unholy, but the description that really applies to this coven is "All of Them Zealots."
They're not only terrorist-like in their conviction that their calling is divinely ordained, homeschoolers also often have a broad martyr streak. Rather than suicide bombings, though, they commit "suicide book-learning," sacrificing their own lives to teach their kids. I've known one or two to get pregnant as an excuse to get out of homeschooling hell, but the true martyrs keep right on instructing, with the newest little pupil glued to their breast.
Beyond a certain age, children and mothers are just not meant to be isolated together. It's unnatural. Keeping the kids at home might have worked back in the Stone Age, but cave women would've at least had each other for company, and I bet they made damn sure the youngsters stayed off in a group together while they grunted gossip and drank their Cro-Magnon coffee.
Kids need their teachers to be adults, separate from their mothers. That way they can idolize or despise them apart from a parent figure, and don't have to depend on one person for everything they require. Did a parent of yours try to teach you to drive? How'd that go? 'Nuff said.
All young animals must be immersed in a mass of their peers so they can figure out what it means to function as a member of the larger group. Believe me, I'm aware that homeschooling families get their children together, since occasionally there'll be a flood of them from next door scrambling over the fence to play uninvited in our yard, but being with maybe a dozen other kids once in a while doesn't do the trick. It takes serious numbers for developing humans to catch on to the nuances of accepted behavior and to have a chance to make enough friends. I just can't see homeschooling providing adequate socialization.
One of my neighboring HMs taught her two kids through eighth grade, then threw them to the wolves in public high school. The boy ended up dropping out and doing jail time, and the girl got pregnant.
Yes, I know that homeschooled kids have won high-profile academic contests, but for every homeschooler who aces a spelling bee, there's some poor child being "instructed" by a parent who's barely literate herself. Teachers in the public school system are required to have certification and college degrees, yet any yahoo can force their kids to stay home as long as they pass an annual test.
What's really scary about homeschooling is what it can do to the sanity of a mother deluded into thinking it's her Christian duty. No woman was ever meant to be trapped in a house all day with children old enough to spell "homicide."
So if new neighbors move in next door and you notice that the kids never leave for school and mom wears her hair in two braids, be afraid. Be very afraid
May I ask where the quote is from?
I noticed that. I am the main teacher for my three kids right now, and my wife and I are mulling over whether we will take a team approach or leave it that way once she's out of nursing school. And I can guarantee you it isn't just my religious views that made me decide to homeschool; I used to hire people for entry-level jobs at two of the companies I worked for, and I've seen how far things have fallen in our school systems in just a short time.
Please, enlighten me. Will they be open-minded enough to compare people they disagree with to terrorists?
A few have now been accepted to the military academies, too. Of course, we all know those are just party schools, right?
What's your way of handling this? I'm trying to find the right balance with my nine year old as we move into tougher material. It was easier to take a million short breaks when he was doing little kid stuff.
Yeah, and I really resent the implication that as a high school graduate, I don't have the ability to pass concepts on to a child that I've been using in my daily life for decades. Ed school degrees have their place, but to believe you need certification to teach a kid their multiplication tables is just dumb.
Ditto, with the exception of my pastor's daughter who is brilliant and just wants to work with kids, and one guy who I took a speech class with who was goofy, but I can just see him being the best darn math teacher ever.
When people talk about how great teachers are, it's because the really good ones stand out in your mind as life-changers who are cherished forever. In my case, I can remember one horror story for every fond memory. Of course, I was a pretty unhappy child, so take it with a grain of salt.
We have a similar situation with our 10yo, and have yet to find a solution. My experience is that he works best when he's exhausted :-). If we've done yardwork all morning, or cleaned the church for a few hours, then he settles right down after lunch!
The best suggestion I have (other than moving to the farm!) is to skip as much busywork as possible ... if he can do the multiplication, move on to the division. Cut down the paper practice. Drill on math facts while you're in the car, or analyze sentences. Teach him to type, so he doesn't have to sit and write.
And remember God made boys the way they are, so if they're driving us (parents) insane, WE have a problem, not the boys!
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=1576636&mesg_id=1576636
be sure to wipe your feet after wading around in there. The crap runs real deep...:)
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