Finally, The End Of Canada

FrontPageMag.com ^ | June 7, 2001 | Jamie Glazov

[SamAdams76]

ALMOST HALF of Canadians believe it is highly likely Canada will join the United States within ten years. That’s what an opinion poll, released on June 3 (2001) by EKOS Research Associates, a Canadian polling and research firm, tells us.

This isn’t really big news. It simply means that almost half of Canadians are willing to reconcile themselves with reality. Let’s face it: globalization is the way of the future. It can’t be stopped. That means that Canada’s destiny – being absorbed into the American empire -- is much closer than we think. As a Canadian, I can hardly wait.

I must admit: the supremacy of globalization and free trade fills me with an intoxicating sense of glee. After all, the victory of unrestrained international capitalism translates into market forces running unhindered in Canada, which, in turn, translates into a diminishment of Canadian "sovereignty" – that absurd joke that has imposed socialized health care, federal funding of bilingualism and multi-culturalism, and other intellectually-bankrupt policies, onto heavily-burdened Canadian taxpayers. Canadian governments will finally have to listen to the market, rather than to leftwing ideologues and elites, and shed the last remnants of the Canadian welfare state. And as multinational corporations gain power, and national barriers come tumbling down, the forces of deregulation and privatization will triumph, leaving Canadian socialism where it belongs – on the ash heap of history.

These developments will yield less government spending and low taxes, which will encourage stimulated savings and investment in the economy, which will mean more economic growth. More growth, meanwhile, will foster new jobs, products and factories, which, in turn, will lead to a better redistribution of wealth, as well as an increase in the standard of living for most Canadian citizens. And as government regulation will almost totally disappear, Canada will lose any ability to control incoming foreign investment. In this way, it will lose its ability to control its own economy – which is good. The pull to the south will become unstoppable.

The benefits of these developments will feed off of themselves. Just think about it: the Canadian government will no longer have an excuse to fund bilingualism, since the market, which reveals the preferences of people better than any government program can, will expose how economically irrational and unpopular it is. Canadian taxpayers will save millions of dollars. But it gets better: with the dismantling of official bilingualism, Quebec will finally come to terms with what it should have come to terms with long ago: it has no place in Canada. The good news, therefore, is that Quebec will finally separate. And good riddance.

And then, the good news really starts: with French Canada finally gone, English Canada will be blessed with losing its last pretence of possessing any unique characteristics whatsoever. With Quebec gone, English Canadians will no longer be able to say, "We’re not like those Americans," without someone else rejoining: "Oh? And how is that?" And there will be no answer, because there will be nothing to say. Canadian nationalists will finally have to admit the bitter truth: that Canadians are Americans in everything but name. The charade of how "we are different" will come to its long-awaited conclusion.

Finally Canadians will be able to free themselves from trying to be patriotic by insulting Americans. In this way, they will stop negatively stereotyping Americans -- a behavior which has always manifested a dark and ugly strain of hatred in the Canadian psyche. It is simply hilarious, in the most tragic sense, how Canadian nationalists have always prided themselves on their politically-correct tolerance and "multi-culturalism," while they have engaged in anti-Americanism -- a disposition, as sociologist Paul Hollander has demonstrated, that is directly related with racism, sexism, and anti-Semitism. In Canada, of course, it has always been legitimate to be a bigot, as long as it has involved hating Americans. We will soon be able to say goodbye to that pathological double-standard.

We will also be able to say goodbye to the endless smug complaining that many Canadians engage in about how "stupid" Americans are – since Americans do not know anything about us. The bottom line is that Americans in Los Angeles and New York City do not need to know anything about Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, nor about anything else Canadian. That’s because, no matter how much the truth hurts, it is still the truth: Canada is boring – always has been and always will be. Whenever I hear a Canadian mocking American ignorance about Canada, I always can’t help picturing some deadbeat loser and unaccomplished writer who keeps all of his works hidden in his desk, and has never published anything, but simultaneously sneers at the world for having never heard his name.

Just imagine all of the pain that we will spare ourselves once we join the United States. We will no longer have to victimize ourselves with those torturous and emotionally-excruciating conversations about Margaret Atwood and Pierre Berton, in which Canadian nationalists show their anti-American stripes by discussing novels that no human being outside of Canada has ever heard of, nor would ever read under sane circumstances. The celebration of mediocrity for the sake of defining ourselves as being "different" from "those Americans" will finally end.

Thus, with the end of Canada, Canadians will finally reconcile themselves to the fact that they have no separate identity, and that the identity that they think they have has actually been defined in negative opposition to Americans. We can finally stop telling ourselves who we are not, and start focusing on who we are: Americans. And when we do this, the Providential Godsend will be delivered: Canadians everywhere will be liberated from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, an entity that it takes masochism to tune into, and that wouldn’t survive five minutes if its life depended on the tastes and desires of Canadians themselves. We will finally face basic common sense: culture cannot be created artificially by tax payers’ money, and if there is not enough interest in a country to naturally keep a television or radio station afloat, than that country does not need a television or radio station.

The victory of globalization means the end of Canadian socialism. And the end of Canadian socialism means the end of Canada, because this nation is an artificial structure that is kept intact by nationalist and socialist elites who exploit their own citizens for the sake of keeping themselves in power. It’s time for the unrestrained forces of capitalism to prevail, so that we can finally abandon our pathetic fantasy of having a unique culture, let alone a unique anything. It’s time to become who we always were: Americans. Long live globalization

[blandbutmarvellous]

Couldn't we just make a trade?

Say, something like Massachusetts for Manitoba?

[John Valentine]

I'd take in British Columbia, Alberta, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia and Price Edward Island.

Maybe Saskatchewan and Manitoba too, but I'd never touch Ontario or Quebec. Not in a thousand years.

[mdmathis6]

The Canadians would be in shock when confronting our Bill of Rights which they don't have in Canada. While the Homo's have had some influence in our nation, they still have to get past our 1st amendment in being able to openly denounce the homo's lifestyle in the USA. The anti hate speech laws in Canada would be seriously threatened in the USA

[JSteff]

"After that we could work on the UK to pull out of the EU and form a North Atlantic Free Trade Zone."

Sounds great but there are those in England who would rather be euro. Here is how it goes, same as what you said but also have Spain, Eastern Europe, Northeastern Europe, Turkey, and Israel as part of the trade zone.

Quebec, the Scandinavian countries, the Netherlands region France, Germany, and Denmark can do what they want.

[foreverfree]

bump

[McGavin999]

It would be easier if we could work out some kind of hostage exchange. You know, we could take their conservatives and give them some of our liberals. It wouldn't be long until the entire country went bankrupt and then we could pick it up at auction for a song.

[Roy Tucker]

Amen, brother.

It certainly would tilt the political balance away from conservatives. We certainly don't need them.

[azcap]

We'll take everything west of the great lakes EXCEPT Vancouver. It can be it's own city state like Singapore is and Hong Kong used to be. The only difference between Hong Kong and Vancouver is Hong Kong today is less communist than Vancouver.

[conservative in nyc]

I like the idea of Canada becoming a part of the US (without Quebec, of course). To make it happen, I think there would have to be a super majority on both sides of the border to vote on it and to make it happen.

In the US the vote would be like a blend of a popular vote and Constitutional amendment: 3/4 of the 50 current United States' legislatures would have to approve, and 3/4 of the voting population of the US would have to vote in favor.

Actually, no constitutional amendment would be required in the United States. Article IV, Section 3 of the Constitution provides that Congress may admit new states. IIRC, all it takes is a majority vote of both houses.

[TLI]

Well they tried that once before.

As I recall, there was not much interest in Texas one way or another by anyone untill the good folkes from the east began moving here. Nuthin but wild cattle, native indians and cactus. As soon as the you-know-what people started moving in, developing land, establishing civilization and in general improving the situation with HARD WORK AND SWEAT, well, now, it was a whole new ball game.

As far as mexico taking Texas, F-A-T C-H-A-N-C-E. I-10 was posistioned for that very reason, to allow defense of the u.S./mexico border. Ft. Hood is where it is for a reason. Pantex nuke facility is where it is for a reason.

If some dope smokin La Raza airhead or a still halucinating Aztlan "follower" really believes Texas will roll over and give it up for the skum further south ain't been to a good 'ol Texas Gun Show in about 20 years. There is more firepower stacked in closets in Texas than in most third world armories around the globe. Higher quality and more sealed and crated ammo too. And they are just praying to be the first to spot such an idiot thinking this is real . . .

it'll NEVER happen. Like the man said, they tried it before, not a good idea.

[UnbelievingScumOnTheOtherSide]

Should also see if Russia could use some cash for Siberia too.

[UnbelievingScumOnTheOtherSide]

Should also grab Cuba while we're at it.
That way we could admit one "slave" state and one free.

[truth_seeker]

"As an American, I would vote a resounding "NO". Remember what happened to the West German economy when it joined with its poor illiterate cousin to the East."

I would not equate Canada with East Germany. Canada is not poor, and is not illiterate.

For example, under Alberta province lie hydrocarbon reserves equal to that of Saudi Arabia. Granted, it is harder to extract, but the technology exists today.

Combined with similar oil and tar sands in our mountain states, we could become freed from importing oil.

I see nothing wrong with a few more willing states. My bet is that Canadians are at least as well educated as our own present population is (not as well as should/could be....granted).

[MitchellC]

Which is why we admit only the western provinces.

[Polybius]

But we don't want Canada

That's true, Sam.

Why would we want more Democrat voters and more Democrat Senators?

[TLI]

Why would we want more Democrat voters and more Democrat Senators?

Ouch! That would be one hell of a ballancing act come to think of it.

[TheLion]

Why don't we just trade them our liberals for their conservatives.

We wouldn't get as many conservatives back, but we sure would get rid of a lot of liberals!

[CWOJackson]

"The only difference between Hong Kong and Vancouver is Hong Kong today is less communist than Vancouver."

You have obviously been to Vancouver.

We'd have to include Vancouver Island (for those unfamilier, Vancouver city is not on Vancouver Island) and the area surrounding Vancouver over to about the Hope area.

[CWOJackson]

"Why don't we just trade them our liberals for their conservatives."

While I agree with you totally in spirit, that might be hard to sort out.

For instance, Vancouver, BC makes Seattle look conservative. Vancouver is a Nuclear Weapons Free Zone (no U.S. Military Vessels Welcomed) and ignores drug use up to and including hard narcotics (To facilitate the junkies, Vancouver has used government funds to open up safe shoot-up clinics. The junkie can come in and have a nurse make sure he safely administers his dope, then take him to a room where he can safely injoy his high in comfort) and resultingly a growing crime and drug dependency problem.

So now we end up with that old FR problem with the libertarians.

[TheLion]

Good points. Glad I wasn't being serious...lol