Bond girls aren't easy (Britney can't meet the standard!)

Los Angeles Times ^ | April 20, 2004 | SAMANTHA BONAR

[1riot1ranger]

Bond girls aren't easy
By SAMANTHA BONAR
(c) 2004, Los Angeles Times

Britney, you are no Pussy Galore. Former Bond Girl Maryam d'Abo (Kara Milovy in 1987's The Living Daylights) with Timothy Dalton.

A recent Extra television report revealed that Britney Spears has had the gall to approach Barbara Broccoli, a producer of Bond films, with a view to becoming the next Bond Girl. .....

...A Bond Girl has sex appeal. Her allure stems from her classic beauty -- tall, lithesome, elegant. Ursula Andress (Honey Ryder) rose from the sea like a knife-wielding Aphrodite in 1962's Dr. No, the first of the Bond films. Another Dr. No Bond Girl, Sylvia Trench (played by Eunice Gayson), is described in the screenplay as "willowy, exquisitely gowned, with a classic, deceptively cold beauty." Britney, on the other hand, is already looking over-the-hill at 22. In fact, she'd look right at home in a trailer with three to five kids.....

[Sofa King]

Maybe if she wasn't so bad at it :)

[cyborg]

The puppies are too big.

[citizen]

Some women are classic beauties, looking fine w/o all the face paint.

Brittany ain't one of them, she, like Madonna, is rather plain in the raw.

[John123]

Lucky tiger...

[CJ Wolf]

'In fact, she'd look right at home in a trailer with three to five kids.....'

Then perhaps she could be the new "bondo Girl", However I don't think we would need the 'hardner'.

[threat matrix]

Let us not forget Halle Berry's Jinx!

[Army Air Corps]

Here is an anecdote about Britney. She was scheduled to perform in Lubbock, Texas. Lubbock is a college town and you would think that tons of college guys would appear. By all accounts, the audience was composed of young girls, high school guys, and college guys. Well, according to the news, she performed two song before her electronic equiment went kaput. That spelled the end of the show. No refunds, no credits for another show. To this day, her name is mud in this town.

[cyborg]

I didn't see her movie :) But wow I see the Atkins diet paid off big time!

[Betis70]

That is the true test of outward beauty it seems. If they look pretty no matter the lack of makeup, messed up hair, ragged clothes, etc.

I think Britney would fail such a test. Marceau would not.

[Moleman]

boy we do we think alike lately. Brtney is hot

[hchutch]

Bill Mumy... Lennier?

[threat matrix]

Catwoman should be interesting, there was talk of making a spinoff Jinx Bond style film after the last film..but I think they are waiting to see how Catwoman does!

[Army Air Corps]

Some women are classic beauties, looking fine w/o all the face paint. Brittany ain't one of them, she, like Madonna, is rather plain in the raw.

I know someone who can confirm this. An aquiantance of mine worked as an operations agent at an airport in the Cicago area. One day, Britney came to town and he was one of the folks who had to escort her through the airport. He said that without all the makeup and favourable lighting, she "isn't much to write home about." In fact he described her as being very, very plain in an unflattering way.

[Miami_U_Redskin]

Spears actually makes the news still?

[TheBigB]

Just a matter of personal tastes. Actually, Monica Bellucci doesn't do anything for me. I'd never heard of her before everyone got all excited about her being in thats econd Matrix film (the most pretentious and tedious waste of celluloid ever, IMO), and then when she was on screen I was like, "Um, is this her? I don't see it."

[cyborg]

They sure did a good job of getting her to look like Michelle Pfeiffer. I loved her in Batman and Wolf.

[threat matrix]

[BadAndy]

All this stuff glorifying Bond girls is a bunch of BS. Bond girls were nothing more than attractive sperm recepticles. Britney more than fills that requirement. I'm sure she can pretend to be sophisticated in order to satisfy the eurosnobs.

[TheBigB]

Plus, all Bond Girls must be a fan of Gordon Lightfoot's "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." It's in all their contracts. :^)

Little known, but true. {snicker}

[mhking]

Bill Mumy... Lennier?

Along with lead writer on Nickelodeon's Space Cases, plus his own band, plus writing for television, comics and otherwise, plus guest starring in all sorts of different programs over the years.

Actually a pretty successful career, albeit not "in front of the camera" as much as a lot of other folks.