You Know You Are A Freeper When.....

April 13, 2004 | LadyShallott

[LadyShallott]

You Know You Are A Freeper When......

You have family members post for you because you have lost all sensation in your right hand from to much mouse usage.

You aren't sure what this "daylight" thing is, but you know you haven't seen it since 1998.

You seriously think about ramming the car in front of you when you see a liberal bumper sticker.

You spend your time finding pictures of John Kerry & morph him into a two-headed ketchup alien.

You try to figure out a way to write a program that would allow you to make love with your spouse and read the breaking news at the same time.

When you and your spouse get into an argument it comes out "Removed by Admin. Moderator".

You asked for a wireless connection at your baby shower. Who needs a baby monitor? Watching the baby and posting is just FR practicality.

You have picked out not only your child’s name, but their screen name for future use at Free Republic.

You told your spouse you were pregnant by listing it under “Breaking News”.

You have shunned the Atkins Diet and chosen to go on the “Freeper” diet: Coffee, smokes, and target practice.

You want to sit in a cage at a PETA rally while smoking, eating a hamburger, drinking coffee and hand out Free Republic coffee mugs.

And last but not least……..

You know you are a married to a Freeper when you can talk about anything going on in the world, you display the American Flag with pride, and you pray for the Troops defending this great country. Chance 33_98, I love ya!

[dirtbiker]

You seriously think about ramming the car in front of you when you see a liberal bumper sticker.

I was in my delivery truck right after the 2000 election. At a stoplight in front of me was a car with a "GORE 2004" bumper sticker. I started laughing SO hard, I almost DID hit him!!!(Perils of working in a college town... Lynchburg, VA)

[little jeremiah]

Ping me when you post about Iraq, too, please!

[biblewonk]

When I click Drudge's links, sometimes I highlight and copy a part of the news article text and hit PAGE END to get the "Post Reply" link ... it's such a waste when I've already got my question or comment formed!

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I've learned to just scan Yahoo news for headlines and if there is anything interesting going on in the world, I head to FR and see the unspun version is like.

[myheroesareDeadandRegistered]

You know you're a Freeper (in the Photoshop Brigades)......

.....When you think "Will that gorilla's a$$ take a nice cut and splice for Dashle's face?"

[Mike Bates]

Everyone needs a hobby.:)

[Darksheare]

LOL!
Beware the colic, and the projectile barfing.
Useful as a weapon, granted, but in forum it can be messy.
*chuckle*
Just don't try the young'un on coffee yet...
(Coffee seeming to be a staple of FR diet law..)

[End Times Sentinel]

Beware the colic, and the projectile barfing.

 

You know, he's always using that projectile barfing gamut when we have an "I want another doughnut" thread in the Eagle home.

Owl_Eagle

" WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
DIVERSITY IS STRENGTH"

[Salvation]

LOL on the ZOT word!

[Salvation]

You have FR withdrawl pains when your ssytem crashes and even go to a pay as you post Kinkos to communicate with your friends.

[lepton]

I can see me Ohio posting a moment by moment account as a tornado approaches, with my only fear being the power going out, at which time I would grab the digital camera so I could update the thread later...

Remember a couple of years ago when DJ88 had a stalker, and stopped at the keyboard to explain why she was running out the back door?

[chance33_98]

LOL no - I have a sort of wacko internet stalker as well The FR Conspiracy, revealed! (led by me???)

[Adam36]

Bill Maher should go on one of those makeover shows and get a nose job.

[Darksheare]

Egads, learning fast!

[End Times Sentinel]

You should be ashamed of yourself Chance.  You leave Luke Braley alone.

 

I suspect you're just jealous of the rich and colorful life he leads, having conversations with his mom about paper and wet vacs, riding his bike, and eating the occasional bannana.

Owl_Eagle

" WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
DIVERSITY IS STRENGTH"

[slimer]

All your bills are past due except the electric and your ISP.

[chance33_98]

I was just watching my tapes I took of him my invisible UFO hovering over his house. Seems like he has calmed down - must be the tazer and billy clubs I had my secret masonic agents use...

[LadyShallott]

Not that this sounds familiar or anything. :)LOL

[Mudboy Slim]

LOL...MUD

[End Times Sentinel]

First ever post to FReeper_Junior!  Can't wait to show it to him when I get home!

Owl_Eagle

" WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
DIVERSITY IS STRENGTH"

[Mudboy Slim]

LOL...I'm honored to support yer Newbie spawn!!

FReegards...MUD