Saturday Night Live Sinks To New Low

NBC | 3-14-04

[My Favorite Headache]

Did anyone just see the Saturday Night Live cartoon ragging on The Passion of the Christ? They had it as "The Passion of the Dumpty" as in Humpty Dumpty. Showing a fried egg as the last supper and going to heaven and making fun of the imgage of Christ dying on the cross.

I have never felt more insulted than I do right now as a Catholic. Plus they had Bush smear commercials in between the skits and painted Mel Gibson to be insane.

[scan58]

Well, then AFAIK, "Triumph" is the only thing by him I've ever actually laughed at. I don't think I can remember any of the TVF's that were really funny. Only sad and insulting.

[cmotormac44]

maybe you should look around for a new girlfriend?

[Blue_Ridge_Mtn_Geek]

A recent SNL sendup of the Hollyweird culture:


Jesus: Hollywood vs. History
Liam Neeson.....Colin Firth
Benny Hill.....Will Forte

Announcer: You're watching "Jesus: Hollywood vs. History", with Liam Neeson, on The History Channel.

[ dissolve to Liam Neeson ]

Liam Neeson: Good evening. I'm Liam Neeson. "The Last Temptation of Christ." "The Passion of the Christ." "Jesus Christ Superstar." Films that tell the story of the carpenter from Nazareth, AKA: Jesus. To varying degrees of historical accuracy. Perhaps, the most controversial film about the life of Christ, is probably one you've never heard of. Because it was never released. Shot in 1974, "J.C. Godson & Co." was directed by - and starred - one Benjamin Alfred Hill. Better known.. as Benny Hill.

[ dissolve to photo of Will Forte disguised as Benny Hill, posed as his Fred Scuttle character, with hand to head in playful mock salute ]

Primarily known for his naughty slapstick routine, Hill hoped the film would prove to critics that he could act. Here now, a never-before-seen clip from Hill's epic, "J.C. Godson & Co."

[ dissolve to clip ]

[ holy hymnal music as we see Jesus crucified on the cross atop rock, with a pair of woman flanked in robes bowing before him ]

[ close-up of Jesus' face - Benny Hill in glasses giving the characteristic woe-is-me face as he hangs on the cross ]

[ cut back to wide shot, as the robes fall off the women, revealing bawdy bikini tops ]

[ cue "Yakkity Sax" and sound effects of girls laughing, as Jesus - still tied to cross - hops off the rock and begins to chase the bikini-clad girls ]

[ Jesus chases the girl across a field of grass and rocks ]

[ camera jump as the girls rise from behind the rocks, and Jesus continues the chase offscreen ]

[ Jesus runs back into frame, now being chased offscreen by the girls ]

[ return to frame as Jesus - separated from cross - chases after the girls, one of whom is tied to the cross instead ]

[ chase sequence is encircled and dissolved, as the music drowns out and we dissolve back to Liam Neeson ]

Liam Neeson: Needless to say, the film was a disaster. Paramount called it "Unwatchable" and "Not good." Beny Hill was emotionally crushed, dying just 18 years later. As for Jesus, though he died on the cross, he will always live forever on.. in film. For The History Channel, I'm Liam Neeson.

Announcer: Coming up next on The History Channel, "The History of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."

[ambrose]

Ummm... anyone remember when SNL was having its guests run around tearing up pictures of the Pope and screaming to "fight the real enemy!"??

[IronJack]

This is the end of Saturday Night Live. Saturday Night Live is Dead.

[Nonstatist]

It sounds so off the wall as it were, to be harmless.

Pretty bad taste, actually, and much more pointed than they would have done 5 years ago. IMO, Hollywood's on a mission; against religion, traditional morality, etc ( am I really being paranoid?)

[GiveEmDubya]

SNL stopped being funny several years ago.

But I did see approximately 60 seconds of SNL tonight and that scene just happened to be in that time frame. I wasn't so much insulted, but I did find it ridiculously stupid and unnecessary, and I just saw "The Passion" a few hours ago, so I have a bit of a fresher opinion on the subject than I did yesterday.

I will say though that if SNL weren't so low in my book already, it would have crashed tonight (and not just for the Passion knock-off). None of it was funny. MAD TV has been the superior show for at least the last 4 years and is the only sketch comedy show I watch.

[kenth]

You're not paranoid (or, if you are, I am too). It does look to me like people are openly aligning themselves with either good or evil. I see it as a good thing. At least we can get out in the open which side everyone is on, and maybe less infiltration of all things that were once good.

[Blue_Ridge_Mtn_Geek]

They did a pretty good sendup of Martha Stewart too, with a few stray zingers at various other favorite targets here in FR -land:


Nightline

Ted Koppel.....Darrell Hammond
Chappell Hartridge.....Kenan Thompson
Kevin Henson.....Will Forte
Rosie O'Donnell.....Horatio Sanz
Martha Stewart.....Ana Gasteyer


[ open on Nightline animated graphics ]

Announcer: This is ABC News: Nightline. Reporting from Washington - Ted Koppel.

[ dissolve to Ted Koppel in the Nightline studio ]

Ted Koppel: Good evening. For years, she has told us the right way to fold napkins, and she's told us how to prune our perennials. But, now, a New York City jury has told her she'll be going to jail. Of course, I'm referring to Martha Stewart, guilty on four counts yesterday. Joining me tonight from New York City, Stewart case juror Chappell Hartridge.

Chappell Hartridge: Hey, Ted! How you feel?

Ted Koppel: I feel good. Mr. Hartridge, this deliberation, which should have dragged on for weeks, took only two days. How did you reach your decision?

Chappell Hartridge: Well.. with the quality and the quantity of the information we had before us, we were able to quickly able to arrive at the conclusion.. that we wanted to be out of there by the weekend.

Ted Koppel: Do you understand the ramifications of your actions? You're subjecting a 62-year-old woman to a possible 20-year prison sentence.

Chappell Hartridge: Ah, I mean we did what we thought was best - for whitey.

Ted Koppel: Mr. Hartridge, prison is a dangerous place. I mean, have you ever rented that movie "Cool Hand Luke"?

Chappell Hartridge: Uhh.. no, I have not.

Ted Koppel: Well, it's rough stuff. In your opinion, could Martha Stewart eat fifty hard-boiled eggs, and survive a night in the box?

Chappell Hartridge: [ without much thought ] I think she could.

Ted Koppel: [ nods ] I think you're right. Also joining us tonight, is a junior analyst with Merrill-Lynch, the brokerage that represented Ms. Stewart - Kevin Henson Mr. Henson, you're a young broker - was it a fair verdict?

Kevin Henson: Ted, I think this decision sends a clear and, ultimately, good message to all of us on Wall Street. And that is, uh, simply: Martha Stewart got what she deserved, because she's a huuuge bitch!

Ted Koppel: [ stunned ] I'm sorry?

Kevin Henson: That's right. Martha Stewart is a big, giant bitch! And now she's gonna be a jail bitch! Yep!

Ted Koppel: Okay, Mr. Henson --

Kevin Henson: Wait, wait! Let me finish, Ted!

Ted Koppel: Alright..

Kevin Henson: Okay, I hope this leads to a giant bitch hunt! And we go after Hillary. Yeah! Hillary Clinton is a bitch! A massive bitch! She needs to go to jail! Yeah. And, who else, uh.. Yoko! Yoko is a bitch for breaking up one of the most awesome rock bands of all time. Jane Fonda? Bitch! Dr. Laura? big radio bitch! Oprah? Bitch from way back, I always thought she was a bitch! Susan Luderman? The biggest bitch of all time!

Ted Koppel: Who's Susan Luderman..? I'm afriad I don't know any Susan Luderman..

Kevin Henson: She's my boss, Ted. She is a monster bitch! I hate her!

Ted Koppel: Oh. Is it possible, sir, you may have a problem with powerful women?

Kevin Henson: Don't be a bitch, Ted!

Ted Koppel: Also joining me, from her home in upstate New York - comedienne/political activist Rosie O'Donnell.

Rosie O'Donnell: I'm very angry, Ted!

Ted Koppel: Ms. O’Donnell.. Ms. O'Donnell, where were you when you heard the verdict?

Rosie O'Donnell: I was in New Mexico officiating a lesbian bris. When Parker came to me and said, "Mommies! Mommies! The cooie lady's going to jail!" I got right on a plane!

Ted Koppel: And, Rosie, do you think that Martha Stewart has been the victim of a witch hunt, so to speak?

Rosie O'Donnell: Absolutely, Ted! But I'm doing everything I can to rally support for her. I'm writing a Broadway musical called "Marthaaaaa!" And I'm going to shoot these koosh balls at people.. who don't agree with me! [ fires off a couple of koosh balls ] And, also.. I’m starting a cruise line exclusively for persecuted female billionaires and their same-sex spouses.

Ted Koppel: What does that even mean?

Rosie O'Donnell: It means I bought a boat! And.. I'm also gonna buy a house of pies! For Martha!

Kevin Henson: Ted, uh.. I would like to point out that Ms. O'Donnell is a lezzy and a bitch!

Rosie O'Donnell: [ incensed ] Up yours, pallie! I spend more money on jean jackets in one year than you make in your life!

[ Kevin Henson gives Rosie O'Donnell a "So what kind of accomplishment is that?" shrug ]

Ted Koppel: clearly, this is a divisive issue. Joining us now, in an exclusive interview, the woman at the epicenter of this earthquake - newly-convicted felon Martha Stewart.

Martha Stewart: It's good to be here, Ted.

Ted Koppel: Martha, what is going through your mind.. at a time like this?

Martha Stewart: Modeled, gray cinder block walls.. rough-hewn tangerine jumpsuits.. a timeworn mid-century commmode, to be shared in plain view of others. I’m Martha Stewart. And I’m on a boatload of anti-anxiety medication right now. It’s a good thing.

Ted Koppel: Martha, have the ramifications of this case hit home yet? You're probably going to be spending at least 18 months in jail.

Martha Stewart: Ted, I sincerely doubt I'll do any real time. Also, if I'm in jail, who's going to teach American women how to store their decorative holiday acorns?

Ted Koppel: Who, indeed, Miss Stewart? you're headed up the river. The big house. The stony lonesome.Have you made a shiv? Will you join the Aryan brotherhood? Have you ever heard of a Blanket Party?

Martha Stewart: Is that anything like a cookie swap?

Ted Koppel: No. A Blanket Party is a prison term for throwing a blanket over a squealer’s head so he can’t identify you when you beat him with a pipe.

Martha Stewart: Oh. That. I’ve been doing that for years. I didn’t know there was a name for it!

Ted Koppel: Martha.. are you scared?

Martha Stewart: Frankly, Ted.. from the way it's been described to me, prison life won't be much different from what I'm used to. I'll be awakened at 5:20 a.m., lift weights in the yard, work in the kitchen for several hours, make someone my bitch, then sit quietly in a dark room until morning.

Ted Koppel: Final thoughts? Any remorse?

Martha Stewart: Well, generally, Ted.. I think remorse is for wussie-pusses. But, yes.. if I had to do it all over again, if I were back on that plane and I got that message to sell N-Clone.. I think I would definitely pick up the phone, and say, "Live! From New York! It's Saturday Night!"

[Blue_Ridge_Mtn_Geek]

NJ Catholic priest was so appalled by Mel Gibson's "The Passion of The Christ'' that he described the film as "religious barbarism.'' "I saw it as religious barbarism ... in my opinion, God did not send his son to die,''

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Clerics like this always make me laugh. If he had any sense of honor or decency, given that he rejects a basic doctrine of his church, he would quit and get himself an honest job.

[Coleus]

the good news is that he is retiring this year.

[Lancey Howard]

Wow. SNL is still on the air?
Do they have anybody left that anybody has heard of?

[Lancey Howard]

Is Tina Fey the one who wears glasses to try to make herself look intelligent?

[Freedom2specul8]

I too quit watching SNL..

Why don't the networks, just come out with it and admit it..

They hate Christians and Republicans.

[jonsie]

First thing I noticed, looks like a Baldwin.

[breakem]

Daryl Hammond is one of the premier impressionists of the last 20 years. IMO

[Brimack34]

This the Worst SNL ever. Not only is AFFLAKE getting fat. He has 2 of the worst events ever. 1 Movie and 1 TV show.

[FreedomCalls]

SNL stopped being funny several years ago.

This used to be on SNL. I laughed at it.

Quicktime movie, Click here.

[FlyVet]

I wouldn't sweat it too much. I just saw it, and it was nothing but a pathetic stab that didn't make much sense. Why were they mixing in Bush campaign ads? I don't remember Gibson ever mentioning the Prez. And, what was with the Humpty Dumpty theme? Had a great fall? It's already a box office all time great movie. Maybe the hateful little creep writers at the irrelevant SNL are JEALOUS. They made themselves look like the little junior high school fools that they are.

[dc-zoo]

Mel should sue their asses at nbc for trashing his movie and using his Passion logo graphics.