Needed: More "Two Cows" Jokes

Brad DeLong ^ | February 28, 2004 | Brad DeLong

[MurryMom]

Parmalat:

You had two cows. But now you don't know where they are.

Pentagon:

Donald Rumsfeld informed the Congress that he had accurate satellite intelligence about where the two cows were. But he lied.

Extropian:

You had two cows. You operate on them using nanobots. They become superintelligent and take over the farm.

Bush Economic Policy:

George W. Bush promised during the campaign that even after big tax cuts for the $300,000+a year crowd the surplus would be big enough to buy everybody two cows.

[MurryMom]

Hastert and Cheney -- the two fattest cows in office today.

[teletech]

Glad to see we still have long term disruptors on FR. You give us all a good laugh.

[bluefish]

It must be sad to have to go through life inventing alternate versions of truth to justify one's hate. I pitty you MurryMom, because deep down inside, you know you are full of it. Never admitting it simply adds to your hateful rage.

[Fiddlstix]

Presented as a Public Service
Certain FReepers may need this

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[Indy Pendance]

[4mycountry]

Well, lookey here. MurryMom has graced us with her presence. </sarcasm>

[MaryFromMichigan]

* * * ASH ALERT * * * :)

[Gabz]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rmgatto]

Nice, but Hillary's head is on the wrong end.

[Lady Jag]

I got your two cows right here

Includes bonus elephant joke.

[illiac]

Ummmmmm Hummmmmm.....

[teletech]

* * ASH ALERT * * * :)

I had all but forgotten old 'ASH'. Hey ASH, is that you? Come on now, you can tell us. Did you get a sex change and become 'MurryMom'?

[Petronski]

MurryMom: The tumor in the higher-reasoning area of MurryMom's brain is larger than two cows.

[Sofa King]

Hey! A pre-zot thread! Here's a cow joke: you are an utter waste of life!

Zot, the Cat!

[MaryFromMichigan]

....you are an udder waste of life!

[coloradan]

Clinton had two cows, but one of them committed "suicide" by multiple shots to the head, and the other moved to NY to run for senate.

[jriemer]

I think JimRob keeps MurryMom around rather than ZOT!ing her because every village (including virtual ones) needs an idiot.

[deport]

Mom...... here's another two-cow'r for you democrats.......

A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

[demnomo]

Oh, come on. You can do better than this. As Free Republic's resident liberal laughing stock, the least you could do is come up with something a bit more funny.

This thread is a pathetic waste of bandwidth. Issues, Hon, issues! Hows about that hubba, hubba Kerry? Now, there's a Dem candidate on the issues. John "Flip-flop" Kerry knows all about the issues. He has an answer for each side of an issue.

[Tamzee]

THE TWO COWS

Here is an explanation of the rules of the world in simple two-cow terms:

* Socialism: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

* Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

* Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.

* Government Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

* Corporate: You have two cows. You sell one to make the stockholders happy, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops over dead.

* Democrats: You have two cows. The democrats tax you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.

* Capitalism: You have two cows.   You sell one and buy a bull.