Our 1st Quarter Freepathon is Underway! - Thread 6

Click here to donate via secure server ^

[Mo1]

Let's Cross The Finish Line

Thank You Freepers For All Your Support !!

[Gabz]

Turning that rooster into a roaster sounds like a yummy idea!!!!!

[Gabz]

That's cold.......devilishly so!!!!!!

[Mo1]

LOL .. Yea that too

It's the Tylenol PM's fault

[Gabz]

I thought it was the cold feet..............

[Mo1]

Oh Dang .. I forgot about that

Yea Yea .. that's the ticket

[Gabz]

I got mine warmed up - so it must be true!!!!

[trussell]

How a "real" man bathes a cat:

1. Scrub toilet and flush several times. (You may consider this step to be optional).

2. Fill toilet with warm water and add a squirt of pet shampoo.

3. Drop cat in toilet and slam lid shut.

4. Sit on lid - cat's efforts to free itself will generate a good deal of sudsing and washing motions.

5. Flush toilet a couple of times to rinse cat. Note: Hold securely to leash attached to cat in toilet.

6. Leap off toilet seat, dash out door, and slam it shut - securely shut, because kitty will erupt from the bowl as if jet propelled.

7. Leave kitty to sulk and dry itself.

8. Bask in self-congratulatory haze.

The result is as follows:

[Gabz]

OMG............I've seen that picture but never heard that joke - it's hilarious........

I'm sending it to every cat owning friend on my email list - NOW!!!!!!!!!

[Jim Robinson]

And another $100 just in from Arizona!!

Thank you Arizona!!

[trussell]

Talking to the devil...

One sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the towns people were sitting in the pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc... Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

Now this confused Satan a bit, so he wlaked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

[Gabz]

And another $100 just in from Arizona!!

Thank you Arizona!!

[Mo1]

That poor poor kitty .. LOL

Thank You Freepers
100 just in from Arizona!!

[Fawnn]

Arizona!!!

[Gabz]

I'm not going to kill my dog...I'm not going to kill my dog.......I'm not going to kill my dog.......I'm not going to kill my dog.......I'm not going to kill my dog.......I'm not going to kill my dog.......I'm not going to kill my dog.......I'm not going to kill my dog.......I'm not going to kill my dog.......I'm not going to kill the dog........I'm not going to kill the dag blasted beat.

Where's the gun?????????

[Gabz]

Sheeeeeeeeesh it's obvious my feet are cold again - I left out the esses.......

[Mo1]

LOL ... You really need a fence or at least a nice strong cane ... that way you don't have to go out with the dog

[Mo1]

DANG!!


strong cane = strong chain

[Brad’s Gramma]

Latest incoming:

$100 from Mississippi
$100 from California
$20 from Never Never Land
$50 from Ohio
$10 from California

Thank you, Mississippi, California, Never Never Land, Ohio and California!!

[Brad’s Gramma]

And another $100 just in from Arizona!!

Thank you Arizona!!

[trussell]

On the outskirts of town, there was a big old pecan tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." said one boy. Several were dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was.

"Oh my," he shuddered, "it's Satan and the Lord dividing the souls at the cemetery."

He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick" said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard. Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted, though, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. Let's see if we can see the devil himself." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for you." That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."

They say the old guy made it back to town 5 minutes before the boy!!