Our 1st Quarter Freepathon is Underway! - Thread 3

Photo at Voodootime ^ | 1/6/04 | Coop

[Coop]

Thread 2

[glock rocks]

I never claimed to be sane.

Those were the msnbc screen captions while Dr. Ruth was on... called her a "psycho-sexual therapist" (discussing Britney)...

maybe ya had to be there.


nevermind.

[RottiBiz]

Thanks, Gabz, I've been doing that (I think) after glock told me last night.

I really am a doofus at this computer stuff. I can mess up anything.

Remember a couple of years ago on one of the Freepathon threads I posted a reply and did who knows what and we had a half a page of replies that were all indented about 20 spaces.

Everyone was complaining "Who the hell did that?" I confessed and WIMom came along and fixed it.

I've been gun-shy ever since!

[Mo1]

Just another Joe, NYTexan and Fawnn are a hoot about the funkling, aren't they?

The competition out there in the Funkle World is growing

[Gabz]

That and some women should not be allowed to drive Vans or SUV's ... cause THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!!

WAIT JUST COTTON-PICKIN MINUTE................

I drive a van ..............

[Gabz]

Ah the good old days of failure to close tag lines!!!!!!

[Mo1]

I meant to write #719.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... your problem is too many spaces

In english that means you hit the Enter key to many times

[Gabz]

The competition out there in the Funkle World is growing

it sure is.....I'm not used to seeing JaJ floating around in the wee hours of the night!!!

[Mo1]

Well I can't say it kept me sane. I gave up sanity years ago. FR has stabilized me.

Have you met Dark???

[Mo1]

Maybe Glock is getting a little nutty, too.

Maybe???

HELLO

[Mo1]

WAIT JUST COTTON-PICKIN MINUTE................

I did say SOME women

I know how to cover my butt ;0)

And I stand by what I said .. Those SOME idiots shouldn't be allowed to drive big cars

[RottiBiz]

That's what's so strange. I clean out the input box and I don't use the enter key, just the up and down arrows. Maybe that's the problem.

Does it matter where the flashing thingy is? At the top or bottom of the input box?

Was working fine earlier, just got crazy yesterday.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Yep I know Dark. How about an old joke! Jesse Jackson is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes.

They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asks the Reverend Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."


One little boy stands up and offers:


"If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.


"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson," that would be an accident."


A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."


"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."


The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.


Rev. Jackson searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"


Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand.


In a quiet voice he says:

"If a jet carrying the Reverend Jackson were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."


"Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson, that's right." And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"


"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

[Mo1]

it sure is.....I'm not used to seeing JaJ floating around in the wee hours of the night!!!

Guess he likes to keep people guessing

Will he pop in .. will he not

Do I feel lucky ... or not

[glock rocks]

put the flashing cursor at the top of the box, then hold down the "Del" key for ten seconds.

Then paste (or type) what you want in that box. should work.

[Mo1]

FOFL ..

[Mo1]

Email From my Dad In Law


Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order a pizza."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"
Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."
Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."
Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."
Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."

[RottiBiz]

Don't laugh. Do I have a "delete" key?

I always use the "backspace" key.

This keyboard is like another world to me. Can't even type on it. (I'm a whiz on a typewriter, though.)

[Fiddlstix]

Good Morning Everybody.

You Know The Drill
Click the Pics J

Coffee & Donuts J

[hoosiermama]

Last time I lost something it was my marbles. Had all my students looking for them. One brought me a hand full (Held for quite a long time) of jelly beans. Another told me he thought he'd found them, then we remembered there had been a rabbit in the room the day before.

The next day one little girl came up to me. (I'd had her dad in school years before.) SHe said. "Daddy said you lost your marbles years ago, are you just now missing them!"

What can I say... Hope you find either mind or marbles.

Got to go! Working with the grandkids of that first group. Only for an hour....I'll be back!

[RottiBiz]

But, Gabz, in those days I wasn't OPENING tag lines, at least not intentionally.