Little Haiti shop owner says he's justified in spanking teenage girl

Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel ^ | 12.29.03 | Diana Marrero

[mhking]

MIAMI -- The 13-year-old girl has a pretty face and a slight frame. But to Lonnie Grigsby, 52, her sweet appearance masks an unruly attitude.

Grigsby, who runs a mini-mart just blocks from the girl's middle school in Little Haiti, says the teenager sassed him one too many times this month.

So Grigsby took off his belt and gave the girl what he thought she needed: a "good whupping."

"She's beyond sassy; she's out of control," said Grigsby, who said he hit the girl after she called him a number of expletives and threw two coins at his head. "I bet her parents never gave her a whupping. She needed it."

Grigsby's actions landed him in jail and set off a firestorm of debate in a community divided by both generational and cultural differences when it comes to disciplining children.

[metesky]

But to Dan Kaufman, an attorney representing the Haitian girl in a pending lawsuit, Grigsby's comments are completely out of line.

"There's not a jury in this country who would support this type of behavior," Kaufman said.

Don't pick me then. I would in a heartbeat.

[far sider]

I have visited Haiti three times and I have seen this happen twice. Once at the Port-au-Prince airport, when some kids got too aggressive in their panhandling, a big Haitian guy just whipped off his belt and walloped a couple of them. Another time, I saw a guy whip (spank) a kid in an alley for misbehaving. I was told this was very common and decent Haitians appreciate when a neighbor spanks their children and give the adult the benefit of the doubt.

This poor guy just hasn't learned you can't do this in the good ol' USA.

[Qwinn]

"Don't pick me then. I would in a heartbeat."

Don't worry. They wouldn't pick you. They'd make sure that every member of the jury attested that they believed corporal punishment was wrong in every last situation, or they'd be dismissed. If 120 people showed up, and 90% of them believed in corporal punishment, they'd pick the other 12. That's the game.

Qwinn

[annyokie]

No she doesn't. I am quite small and never hit my three boys with anything other than my hand.

[Qwinn]

"I was told this was very common and decent Haitians appreciate when a neighbor spanks their children and give the adult the benefit of the doubt."

Give the ADULT the benefit of the doubt over a CHILD? *gasp!*

Didn't you ever hear that you can't trust anyone over 30?!

No offense to those older people among us, but I will not shed a single tear when everyone who participated in the '60's counter-culture is deep in the grave. I fear that their damage is permanent, but I look at history and realize that nothing ever is. Still, it probably won't change in my kid's or grandkid's lifetime, and that makes me very sad.

Qwinn

[Blessed]

This was not a stranger acording to the story. He was the neighborhood storekeeper and had put up with her sass for sometime.Liberals should be ok with this.Remember "it takes a village to raise a child."

[Centurion2000]

Although I don't doubt that she may have needed a spanking in the past, 13 is way too old, even for your own child.

Maybe in your household. But that's your perogative.

[CyberCowboy777]

We are the parents now, and at a minimum our kids will have the discipline to succeed where those around them fail.
I take it that you were not raise by "hippies"? I was not either, Navy dad and Okie mom.

[CyberCowboy777]

except when the village applies any moral judgment.

[MattAMiller]

Some people just run cooler than others. My dad's family is the same way, they just get real cold real easy.

[RightOnline]

"Spanking with other than an open hand is child abuse."

As a father of five sons and two daughters, I heartily disagree. Use the belt or don't, but it's unfair to label it "child abuse".

Frankly...............never had to use a belt on any one of my kids more than once. They got the idea......double quick.

[metesky]

I know. I've been tossed from juries before.
;O)

[philetus]

When I was a kid, if I sasses a neighborhood adult, I usually got smacked. If I ran home and told my parents, I got smacked again.

[Qwinn]

"Although I don't doubt that she may have needed a spanking in the past, 13 is way too old, even for your own child."

Actually, yeah, I have to register a question on this one. What about physically disciplining a 6 year old and far more defenseless child is morally superior to a 13 year old?

By the way - for the record. I have an 8 year old daughter (tho I don't live with her, I'm divorced). She's awesome. She's never once given me sufficient reason to spank her, and I never have - neither has her mother. Time outs work completely with her, because she just can't stand the disapproval behind them - I actually feel bad cause she's practically devastated when she gets a time out, and she's soooo good 95% of the time that I almost want to give her a pass when she rarely really does get out of line, but I know it'll be hell later on if I do.

But the thing is, I'm lucky as hell. If she was wildly rebellious and obnoxious and deserved a spanking, yeah, she'd get it, and she'd have the priviledge of being able to earn them till she was 17. In fact, the older she was, the less bad I'd feel about it, heh.

Qwinn

[philetus]

If I had a million dollars, I'd be rich.

[annyokie]

The belt didn't work on me. I just refused to cry which further enraged my mother, and I was about 4 at the time.

As far as sparing the rod goes, my brother and I both had a couple of brushes with the law as teens despite the belt and church-going.

I'm glad your kids turned out okay, however. My eldest in now in the USN and the other two are excellent students.

[FormerLib]

That would not have worked with me...

You have to make the punishment fit the kid, no doubt about that.

My cousin used to get an old-fashioned whipping from his dad about 2-3 times every week. As my uncle would walk away from administering the whipping, my cousin would be dancing a jig and making faces at his back (while maintaining a convincing level of sniffles to mask the behavior).

But make him sit inside on a sunny day and you could see the pure agony of it etched all over his face.

You have to go with what works.

A kid who uses abusive language and throws things at someone in a store clearly needs her discipline level ramped up in a big way! Of course, the parents will probably try to sue the store owner and then they'll have to feign surprise when the little gutter-snipe gets caught for her first juvenile felony.

[Walkin Man]

All I can say is I got whipped a few times, slapped across the face in a store and had my mouth washed out with dish-soap (YUCK). Same kinda stuff for my siblings. We managed to stay out of prison and become contributing members of society and I loved my Mom.

OTOH, I knew a guy in High School whose "loving daddy" whipped him mercilessly with a belt so that he could hardly walk. Me and my next-door neighbor hid him out for two weeks one time and snuck him food so he could escape the beatings for a while.

I hope that sorry SOB(loving daddy) got what he deserved in the end.

[FormerLib]

And they get mad at me when I offer them the use of my belt.

That's cause they think you're some sort of talking Neanderthal or something.

And they'll be simply baffled when their little darling wraps their BMW around a tree when he's 16. Twits.

Several years ago, a co-worker was complaining about her 14-year-old son who'd gone out of control. They could only have old-fashioned dial phones in their house because they needed to lock them to keep him from making hundreds of dollars of long-distance phone calls every month. Of course, spanking was barbaric to these people! LOL!

Then he got caught taking Dad's Jag for a joy ride but the parents got a good lawyer to fix all of that.

I told her I had a perfect solution for her one day and handed her a stack of pamphlets from military schools in the area. She was furious that I'd suggest such a thing but I never had to listen to her sob-stories again.

I wonder if he's doing time yet?

[philetus]

Did Dad let you give all the punishnebt?