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INTERROGATORS SHOW SADDAM ‘TRISTA AND RYAN’S WEDDING’
BOROWITZ report.com ^ | 12/17/03 | BOROWITZ report

Posted on 12/17/2003 8:15:23 PM PST by vladog

INTERROGATORS SHOW SADDAM ‘TRISTA AND RYAN’S WEDDING’

Rumsfeld Defends Tactics

U.S. interrogators are pressuring Saddam Hussein to cooperate with them by repeatedly showing him ABC's two-hour wedding special featuring "Bachelorette" Trista Rehn and Ryan Sutter, the Pentagon acknowledged today.

News of the Pentagon's use of "Trista and Ryan's Wedding" rippled through international human rights circles today, with some watchdog groups claiming that showing certain reality programs to prisoners of war could be in violation of the Geneva Conventions.

"Watching Trista marry Ryan once is punishment, but watching it six, seven times in a row may in fact constitute torture," said Dr. Josef Claire, a leading human rights activist based in Brussels.

At a press briefing in Washington, Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld said that showing Saddam the video of the Rehn-Sutter nuptials was "something we did not enter into lightly."

"Is forcing someone to watch 'Trista and Ryan's Wedding' cruel? Yes," Mr. Rumsfeld said. "But I submit to you: so is Saddam Hussein."

In addition to defending the use of the excruciating wedding special, the Defense Secretary refused to rule out playing Clay Aiken's new CD to the Iraqi madman "over and over again until he screams."

"If I may remind you, gentlemen," he said, "we are at war."

In other Saddam news, the owner of the farm in Tikrit where the Iraqi strongman was captured objected to the media's characterization of the dictator's hiding place as a "hole."

"You try to rent out a place that everybody and his uncle is calling a hole," the farmer said. "Okay, it's not roomy, but it would be perfect for a young couple starting out."


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 12/17/2003 8:15:23 PM PST by vladog
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To: vladog
Yes but will Saddam be a contestent on Average Joe?

(There are already pictures floating around showing him on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy")
2 posted on 12/17/2003 8:16:21 PM PST by fourhorsemen
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To: vladog
How about a ham sandwhich diet? Or would that have any effect?
3 posted on 12/17/2003 8:17:46 PM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: vladog
C'mon... lets get serious - Squish him back in the pit with Roseanne !
4 posted on 12/17/2003 8:22:34 PM PST by RS (nc)
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To: vladog
Show him hour after hour of the Democratic Presidential debates.

That might work.
5 posted on 12/17/2003 8:29:43 PM PST by Shermy
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To: Shermy
Force him to listen to Rita Cosby for any length of time.
6 posted on 12/17/2003 8:41:12 PM PST by BulletBobCo
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To: vladog
Saddam's favorite show was "The Mole" over on CBS!
7 posted on 12/17/2003 8:43:31 PM PST by Kirkwood
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To: RedBloodedAmerican
How about a ham sandwhich diet? Or would that have any effect?

Canned ham was one of the food items found in the shack where he had been staying.

8 posted on 12/17/2003 8:43:54 PM PST by Graybeard58
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To: Kirkwood
And his favorite movie is "Journey to the Center of the Earth."
9 posted on 12/17/2003 8:45:04 PM PST by Kirkwood
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To: BulletBobCo
Force him to listen to Rita Cosby for any length of time.

She is painful to watch, isn't she?

10 posted on 12/17/2003 8:46:08 PM PST by ForOurFuture
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To: Kirkwood
His favorite rock group is Hole.
11 posted on 12/17/2003 8:48:16 PM PST by BulletBobCo
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To: vladog
How about a good healthy dose of MTV and the " Osbourne`s " !!
12 posted on 12/17/2003 8:50:11 PM PST by Peace will be here soon (Beware, there are some crazy people around here !!! And I could be one of them !!)
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To: fourhorsemen
Saddam with the Queer Eye Boys - Mission Accomplished - Makeover Complete
13 posted on 12/17/2003 8:53:52 PM PST by stlnative
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To: brigette
One hour of Sinead O'Conner cranked up to "11" and he'll be singing like a bird.
14 posted on 12/17/2003 8:55:10 PM PST by LisaMalia (Buckeye Fan since birth!!)
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To: fourhorsemen

15 posted on 12/17/2003 8:56:55 PM PST by stlnative
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Mother of all Chickens
16 posted on 12/17/2003 9:01:29 PM PST by stlnative
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17 posted on 12/17/2003 9:03:40 PM PST by stlnative
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To: vladog
How about feeding him boiled eggs and broiled chicken skin until he talks?
18 posted on 12/17/2003 9:22:37 PM PST by Justin714
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To: Graybeard58
Honey Chile, it was
Spam, Spam, Spam , Spam.
19 posted on 12/17/2003 9:34:03 PM PST by TASMANIANRED
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To: vladog

20 posted on 12/17/2003 9:37:31 PM PST by Delta 21 (Seen any quagmires lately?)
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