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Another Mugging on Capitol Hill (Democratic Party, R.I.P.)
The Hill ^ | November 26, 2003 | Albert Eisele

Posted on 11/25/2003 7:53:23 PM PST by quidnunc

The Democratic Party, one of the twin pillars of the American political system and a major force in Congress for much of the 20th century, died last weekend while working on Capitol Hill. It was 175 years old. The cause of death was injuries suffered from an apparent mugging while trying to rescue the New Deal, the New Frontier and the Great Society.

Capitol Police Chief Terrance Gainer said the victim’s body was found Monday in the excavation for the Capitol Visitor Center, shortly after Congress cleared the way for overhauling Medicare, the Great Society program created in 1965 that was considered the party’s most important legacy.

The time of death was uncertain, but it probably occurred between early Saturday morning and Monday afternoon, Gainer said.

Even though the body bore signs of a violent struggle, Gainer did not rule out the possibility of suicide, citing reports that the victim had been severely depressed since November 2000.

Gainer said he is investigating several leads, including a tip that three top House Republicans — Speaker Denny “Hardball” Hastert (Ill.), Majority Leader Tom “The Sledgehammer” DeLay (Texas) and Ways and Means Chairman Bill “Take No Prisoners” Thomas (Calif.) — were seen making threatening gestures toward the victim in recent days.

He also said two surviving Senate Democrats, John “Huey Long Didn’t Go Far Enough” Breaux (La.) and Max “Let’s Make a Deal, Any Deal” Baucus (Mont.), were considered possible suspects because of their involvement in efforts to help Republicans overhaul Medicare.

“There are a lot of potential suspects who wished the victim ill will,” Gainer said. He indicated that he intends to interrogate AARP Chief Executive William Novelli, Republican National Committee Chairman Ed Gillespie and conservative radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh.

Hastert, while denying that he or his colleagues had anything to do with the victim’s demise, said he has no regrets that Congress will now become a unicameral body, like that in Nebraska.

-snip-

(Excerpt) Read more at thehill.com ...


TOPICS: Editorial; Extended News; Government; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: humor; lostdems
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To: Jabba the Nutt
Finish off the Democratic Party, then the new second party will be a true Conservative Party born out of the Republicans.
41 posted on 11/26/2003 4:55:17 AM PST by Rummyfan
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To: WOSG
Anyone care to bet that the RATS take credit for the Medicare bill in November? And the AARP will believe them?

42 posted on 11/26/2003 5:19:04 AM PST by EQAndyBuzz
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To: Jabba the Nutt
I disagree. It may be true that we are destined to have a two party system, I believe the Democratic party is dying, and something will come along and replace it.

This country has been shifting from the left to right for the past forty years. So even when the Republican's lost, the power shift was still moving in their directions. That is the biggest difference between what is happening to the Democrats now and what happened to the Republicans before.

In order for the Democrats to survive, either the majority of the country must shift left, or the Democrat leadership must shift right. I don't see either happening. The only solution would be another party being formed. As someone mentioned, perhaps a Republican and Covservative Party. The moderate Democrats (and there are some) will join the Republicans, and the conservatives will leave the Republicans for the new party.

43 posted on 11/26/2003 6:20:35 AM PST by CIB-173RDABN
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To: quidnunc
The cause of death was injuries suffered from an apparent mugging while trying to rescue the New Deal, the New Frontier and the Great Society.

Not to worry the Republican party has picked up the banner of socialism and will carry on the Dem's good works.<p?

44 posted on 11/26/2003 6:24:07 AM PST by suijuris
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To: WOSG
Yes. President Bush is a brilliant man and a brilliant strategist. One of his most effective strategies is to appear less effective than he really is, thus keeping his adversaries off guard and leaving them vulnerable to surprise maneuvers. He encourages his adversaries to believe their own propaganda. The Democrats are too dumb to figure this out, and they can't understand how he continues to dance circles around them and why he is so consistently "lucky".

We make our own luck. Fortunately, the Democrats can't understand this.

It's the same thing as saying that each of us is responsible for his own destiny.

The Democrats, for so long a time, have barraged the world with the fiction of victimhood--that no one is responsible for his own misfortune--that it takes a village to make it through life--etc. etc. blah blah blah. They have spent so much time on this self-serving propaganda that they have begun to believe it themselves. This is yet one more reason why they are doomed.

45 posted on 11/26/2003 6:35:19 AM PST by Savage Beast (If Europeans cannot remember the price of appeasement, Americans are well qualified to remind them.)
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To: quidnunc; veronica; Poohbah; Southack; PJ-Comix; Howlin; Miss Marple; PhiKapMom; section9; ...
This is hilarious writing.
46 posted on 11/26/2003 6:47:16 AM PST by hchutch ("I don't see what the big deal is, I really don't." - Major Vic Deakins, USAF (ret.))
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