[I_Love_My_Husband]

ping

[Fintan]

"Man was created to be in a complementary union with a woman - that's the natural order"

And as far as I'm concerned, that's that.

Thus endeth the lesson.

[Paul Atreides]

The American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, and the American Medical Association all concluded about 30 years ago that homosexuality is not a disorder.

And, I'm sure they will say the same about pedophelia.

[netmilsmom]

Right on! I have a nephew, well on the way to feminization. Mom buys play kitchens and china tea services (she bought it for another child and kept it, right). Let's let the boys be boys, teach them self control in the classroom and running wild on the playground. Ritalin is not the answer.

[x1stcav]

"His ideas sound like they're from the 1950s,"

It certainly wasn't a bad time in the country.

Any of us who have lived around a large gay/les community know first hand the generally miserable lives these people lead. Not the accomplished artists, successful lawyers, and wealthy business types who can afford to indulge almost any behavior they choose, but those lower down the totem pole who managed to get caught up in the life style.

Dead (statistically) by 43, heavy suicide rate, generally sick more than not. Is this what any parent would want for their child? In my mind it's the same as trying to keep your kids off of drugs.

And one other thing; the remark about quarantining AIDS patients as being another example of anti-gay and otherwise Medieval thinking; I was living on the Peninsula in the Bay Area in the early 80's when AIDS was originally confined to the gay male population. It;\'s breeding ground were the notorious SF bath houses. Shut them down? No! You'd be depriving these people of their freedom and right of sexual expression. The media and medical/psych community aided, abetted, indeed even created a misperception that the notion of quarantine was an affront to the dignity and humanity of the gays. Result? AIDS quickly crept into the drug-user community, and then into the hetero community through hookers.

The left has caused some much misery, desolation, and death. When will it ever be brought to account?

[WriteOn]

Book Excerpt
The Origins and Therapy of Same-Sex Attraction Disorder (SSAD)
By Richard Fitzgibbons, M.D.
This insightful discussion is from the 1999 book, Homosexuality and American Public Life, edited by Christopher Wolfe. The author of this chapter, Dr. Fitzgibbons, is a member of NARTH's Scientific Advisory Committee.

We have reprinted only a short excerpt here because of copyright considerations. Other chapters in Homosexuality and American Public Life are by different authors. The book is available from Spence Publishing Company, Dallas, Texas, 1-888-SPENPUB or www.spencepublishing.com.

---

For a number of years, my area of expertise has been in the nature and treatment of excessive anger. Throughout my work, it became clear to me that the most important relationship in which men and women deny their anger is the father relationship. Since anger at rejecting peers or a distant father is extremely common among men who experience same-sex attractions, many men who struggle with SSAD have come to my practice.

My goal with these patients was not necessarily to change their sexual orientation, but to try to help them understand and overcome their emotional pain, which most often was the result of childhood and adolescent conflicts. In using the healing approach that I will describe, I found that many clients could resolve the emotional hurts which led to same-sex attractions and, as a result, over an extended period of time, that they were able to resolve their homosexual attractions and behaviors.

The first stage of the healing process is to understand the operative emotional conflicts. There are several different origins of same-sex attraction, and in addition, there is a marked distinction between the origins of homosexual attractions in males and in females.


SSAD in Men
The three most important risk factors for the development of SSAD in men are weak masculine identity, mistrust of women, and narcissism.

Weak Masculine Identity

Weak masculine identity is easily identified and, in my clinical experience, is the major cause of SSAD in men. Surprisingly, it can be an outgrowth of weak eye-hand coordination which results in an inability to play sports well. This condition is usually accompanied by severe peer rejection. In a sports-oriented culture such as our own, if a young boy is unable to throw, catch, or kick a ball, he is likely to be excluded, isolated, and ridiculed. Continued rejection can be a major source of conflict for a child and teenager. In an attempt to overcome feelings of loneliness and inadequacy, he may spend more time on academic studies or fostering comfortable friendships with girls. The "sports wound" will negatively affect the boy's image of himself, his relationships with peers, his gender identity, and his body image. His negative view of his masculinity and his loneliness can lead him to crave the masculinity of his male peers.

The second and crucial conflict in the development of a weak masculine identity is a poor emotional relationship with the father. A number of therapists characterize the childhood experiences of the homosexual adult as a form of defensive detachment from a disappointing father. As children and adolescents, these men yearned for acceptance, praise, and physical affection from their fathers, but their needs were never met. The profound inner void that develops from a lack of physical affection and father love can lead a man to promiscuous behavior in a misguided attempt to fill an emotional emptiness.

Another reason that some men have a weak masculine identity is poor body image. I have found that many active homosexual men are totally obsessed with other men's bodies. They often express hatred for their own bodies and desire the bodies of other men. A final reason can be a history of sexual abuse by older, more powerful children or by adults. Such abuse over a prolonged period of time may have made the child believe that he must be a homosexual.

Mistrust of Women

The second most common cause of SSAD among males is a mistrust of women's love. Feelings of mistrust may develop as a result of a difficult mother relationship or from experiences of betrayal by women. Male children in fatherless homes often feel overly responsible for their mothers. As they enter their adolescence, they may come to view female love as draining and exhausting. They want a relationship that is lighthearted and enjoyable and, by default, turn to male love. Feelings of mistrust may also arise from having a mother who was chemically addicted, overly controlling, possessive, or emotionally distant.

A very small percentage of homosexual men have experienced such devastating female betrayal in personal or professional relationships that they fear and avoid female love. Subsequently, they only feel safe making themselves vulnerable to a person of the same sex.


SSAD in Women
The major conflicts that lead to SSAD in women are, in my opinion, a mistrust of men's love, a weak feminine identity, or intense loneliness.

Mistrust of Men

A number of women who become involved in same-sex relationships had fathers who were emotionally insensitive, alcoholic, or abusive. Such women, as a result of painful childhood and teenage experiences, have good reason to fear being vulnerable to men.

Women who have been betrayed by a man after a long-term relationship often fear trusting other men and seek relief from their loneliness through involvement in homosexual relationships. Women who have been sexually abused or raped as children or adolescents may find it difficult or almost impossible to trust men. They may, therefore, turn to a woman for affection and to fulfil their sexual desires.

Weak Feminine Identity

The second most common cause of SSAD in women is a weak feminine identity. Three basic areas of conflict lead to such difficulty: mother conflicts, peer rejection, and poor body image. In those cases that involve maternal conflict, the woman usually had a mother who was emotionally distant and who had difficulty in affirming her child's femininity. Such negligence can lead to an inner sadness and emptiness which no amount of adult love can overcome.

This condition is far more rare than weak masculine identity, and this is why, in my view, male homosexuality is much more common than female homosexuality. The female role model, the mother, is much more likely to be affirming, to be giving, to be nurturing to her daughter than the father to his son.

Loneliness

Finally for some women, loneliness is also a major factor in the development of homosexual attractions. A number of women in their late twenties or early thirties have spent considerable time in a disappointing search for the right male relationship. The resultant loneliness and disillusionment about men may lead them into a sexual relationship with a woman.

Note: Subsequent topics covered in Dr. Fitzgibbons's chapter in the book, Homosexuality and American Public Life are "Prevention," "Overview of the Healing Process," "Giving Up the Anger," "Scapegoated Children Carry Scars Into Adulthood," and "Childhood Sexual Abuse."





Copyright © NARTH. All Rights Reserved.

Updated: 30 September 2002

[rovenstinez]

I_Love_My_Wife. Good post! I think anyone in their right senses would want their kids to grow up normal as heterosexuals. What IS normal about being a homosexual? How would they naturally reproduce? I heard once that there was ONCE in nature, a couple of sea gulls that tried to get together.

[Commander8]

Sounds like an interesting book.

[fporretto]

I am frankly amazed that these "human rights activists" (a red flag phrase for me, lately) can simultaneously hold that:

1. No one would want to be homosexual if he could help it;
2. It's not a matter of personal choice anyway;
3. Parents ought not to use any effective means to forestall the advent of homosexuality in their developing children.

"One of these three is not like the others; one of these three just doesn't belong..."

Freedom, Wealth, and Peace,
Francis W. Porretto
Visit The Palace Of Reason:
http://www.palaceofreason.com

[southern rock]

"His ideas sound like they're from the 1950s,"

Yeah. I thought they made sense too. :)

[mountaineer]

"My daughter would have been very happy at one point not to be gay," said Lillian Epstein .... "She had to live a life of lies."

She's still living a life of lies, Mrs. E, namely, the lie that homosexual behavior is good, normal and just the way she was born.

[EdReform]

BTTT for later...

[ErnBatavia]

parents should toughen up "girlish" boys, feminize rough-and-tumble girls

It's a pretty sad commentary on our society when someone who advocates the above is considered "controversial"...

[gcruse]

Building a bridge to the nineteenth century. I feel sorry for the tomboy girls who will be taught there is something wrong with them. What's next? Foot binding?

[Frohickey]

Nicolosi and his wife urge parents to intervene as soon as they spot trouble: a boy playing with dolls

What about a boy playing with action figures? Is that okay? :)

[Kuksool]

{Now why would gays be so angry about this book? For years, the gay lobby has been lecturing America about the need to respect diversity. Afterall, don't gays practice what they preach? } - SARCASM

[Bonaparte]

"The American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, and the American Medical Association all concluded about 30 years ago that homosexuality is not a disorder."

Anyone familiar with how that happened knows that they were forced into it by homosexual protestors at their conventions and conferences. They caved in for one reason only -- to avoid further embarassment. None of these groups have had any credibility with me since.

[EdReform]

Selling Homsexuality

[FormerLib]

The more it angers the homosexual activists, the more good people must support it!

And that fact that it can help save people from the homosexual deathstyle is just a big fat honking plus on top of that!

[Jael]

I have a friend who has a child well on her way to lesbianism. She is 6 years old, and calls herself a boy. She has been this way for a while.

Her parents encourage this behavior. They buy her clothing in the boys department and allow her to pursure typical male activities. Her father is hard on her, but praises her for her male like qualities.

Her mother has long been the main bread winner and worked out of the home for most of her life.

It's a crying shame. They have trained her to be this way, and will hear nothing of the danger.

Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind.