Within a year, our business collapsed, my wife had a miscarriage, we were embroiled in an eviction battle with our tenants, one of our cars blew and engine and the other one the transmission, and I haven't been able to find work.
I too have been struggling with my faith. I still believe, but I'm not certain at what point God will step in and honor His promise that he will not give me "more than [I] can endure," and that he will care for me and my family as the sparrows and the lillies in the field. I've been thinking for months that there isn't much more I can take, and yet here I am, facing another crisis. For many months, the prophecies have been coming... "You will surely be delivered..." "God will richly provide for you..." "God has great plans for you." I believe all of those things... and yet I can't grasp why our plight seems to fall on deaf ears. No amount of tears, crying out, begging in prayer, and falling on my face has improved our lot.
To hear that Mother Theresa, who had what may be the most well-known and loved ministry in the world, had struggles as deep - and deeper - than mine is a comfort.
God is good... and very difficult to understand sometimes. I'm glad the Church released this information.
Isn't that the way with all truly holy people.
I saw the following quote the other day and saved it on my hard drive. Maybe it can help you.
I pray that whatever suffering has been laid on your shoulders, might be lightened. Don't lose heart.
Blessings for you and yours.
In the past few years I have gone through a divorce, a loss of house and career and so many financial failings I can't even begin to count them. But, I'm convinced that God is allowing all this to happen for an important reason of His design. This story about Mother Teresa and your recounting facts from your history are worth reflection.
Thank you for providing more hope, but more importantly, more courage to continue toward the goal!
Blessings to you and your family!
- Grumpster.
At a Crusade..Corie Tenboum was knitting on the podium just behind the main speaker...later it was Her turn to speak.
Corie came forward..and held her knitting up for the crowd to see...the side She presented to them was the back..with hundreds of strands of yarn in a mess of disjointed color and length.
"The Lord is the weaver of the picture of our lives..she said...we see only the disjointed pattern...we tend to become discouraged by the view..we respond in doubt..at the disharmony present before our eyes."
Corie then turned the frame around to show the front..and the beautiful picture that was the tapestry.
"This is what the lord is doing in your lives...He is weaving a tapestry of beauty..a tapestry fashioned by Him..solely for you..a tapestry of purpose..a statement..that you are unique..and you are his handi work".
I used to do many tasks in the steal industry..some were very dangerous.
Once I had to melt ingits of Zinc..in a ceramic cauldron before pouring.
The Zinc begins to purify in stages..one must remove the dross at the surface..continually skimming it...over time and under GREAT HEAT,the impurities are out to such a degree ...that when skimming..and only just for a moment...even with protective gear on..it is hard to draw near and look....you can see your reflection.
Zinc purified appears much like polished silver and chrome...I reflected on this one day after reading the various "Refineing scriptures" in the Bible.
I understood what the Lord was saying....when we walk thru trials..we are refinend like Gold and Silver...the result.
The Lord see's HIS REFLECTION..in the surface[service] of our lives...
What type of work do you do?
Well, to make a long story short, my faith was shattered. I didn't want to not have God, but I couldn't get over the doubts I had about Him, that feeling that either He had abandoned me, or He wasn't there to begin with. At one point I was even considering suicide, wondering what was the point of existence if there was no ultimate source of it all.
At the very moment that I was at the lowest point of my life, God sent the most wonderful friend that anyone could ask for in this life on earth. A few months ago we were engaged. And every day since we met has been a joyful lesson in how magnificent and beautiful our God is, that nothing about us is beyond His ken. My faith in Him is stronger than ever... so much so that I've told everyone around me that if I had to go through all that again - and it was more than I'd wish on my worst enemy, seriously - I would do it. Would look forward to it even, because now I know God was looking out after me the whole time.
Thank you for sharing your story :-)