Longing for God: Mother Teresa's Letters Reveal Isolation, Doubts.

Catholic News Service ^ | 3/4/02 | Cindy Wooden

[kezekiel]

Try Zechariah 13:9.

And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God.

This is part of an awesome prophecy of Christ. Here's the context:

Zech 13:1 In that day there shall be a fountain opened to the house of David and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem for sin and for uncleanness.
2  And it shall come to pass in that day, saith the LORD of hosts, that I will cut off the names of the idols out of the land, and they shall no more be remembered: and also I will cause the prophets and the unclean spirit to pass out of the land.
3  And it shall come to pass, that when any shall yet prophesy, then his father and his mother that begat him shall say unto him, Thou shalt not live; for thou speakest lies in the name of the LORD: and his father and his mother that begat him shall thrust him through when he prophesieth.
4  And it shall come to pass in that day, that the prophets shall be ashamed every one of his vision, when he hath prophesied; neither shall they wear a rough garment to deceive:
5  But he shall say, I am no prophet, I am an husbandman; for man taught me to keep cattle from my youth. And one shall say unto him, What are these wounds in thine hands?
6 Then he shall answer, Those with which I was wounded in the house of my friends.
7  Awake, O sword, against my shepherd, and against the man that is my fellow, saith the LORD of hosts: smite the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered: and I will turn mine hand upon the little ones.
8  And it shall come to pass, that in all the land, saith the LORD, two parts therein shall be cut off and die; but the third shall be left therein.
9  And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God.

Is this the one?

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Wow. I'd love to spend some time in a monastery but I'm afraid it would be a case like Maria in the Sound of Music. I think they'd be glad I left:) I haven't seen Underhill's book but I will look for it sometime. I do a lot of spiritual reading and am addicted to books!

[Judith Anne]

Whatever.

[Judith Anne]

It's definitely not for everyone. I hope you do find the book, and I hope you enjoy it.

[RnMomof7]

Even the saints have their own doubts and fears. We are all human- even the "best" of us.

"The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God." Rom. 8:16

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

No, but that's good too! There are an awful lot of references to fire. I didn't realize there were so many.

Anyway, I found it! There are two separate ones: Sirach 2:1-6 and Sirach 4:11-19.

Sirach 2:1-6 My son, when you come to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for trials. Be sincere of heart and steadfast, undisturbed in time of adversity. Cling to him, forsake him not; thus will your future be great. Accept whatever befalls you, in crushing misfortune be patient; For in fire gold is tested, and worthy men in the crucible of humiliation. Trust God and he will help you; make straight your ways and hope in him.

Sirach 4:11-19 Wisdom instructs her children and admonishes those who seek her. He who loves her loves life; those who seek her out win her favor. He who holds her fast inherits glory; wherever he dwells, the Lord bestows blessings. Those who serve her serve the Holy One; those who love her the Lord loves. He who obeys her judges nations; he who hearkens to her dwells in her inmost chambers. If one trusts her, he will possess her; his descendants too will inherit her. She walks with him as a stranger, and at first she puts him to the test; Fear and dread she brings upon him and tries him with her discipline; With her precepts she puts him to the proof, until his heart is fully with her. Then she comes back to bring him happiness and reveal her secrets to him. But if he fails her, she will abandon him and deliver him into the hands of despoilers.

This comes from the New American Bible (Catholic). I know this reads differently in various versions and in the Protestant Bible (King James I think) the first quote from Sirach uses silver instead of gold.

Now, this is just my opinion of course and we all have our understandings and verses that speak to us, but I see here that the Wisdom referred to is not a wisdom of the brain, but a wisdom of the heart. In some mystical traditions it is thought that this is where God resides and the experience of Divine Union occurs here. Anyway, I could go on and on completely off the subject and I can't remember if you are Catholic or not. At any rate, these two excerpts are two of my favorites and have helped me in the past. I just wanted to share them with you. On that note, I am going to mark these pages so I don't lose them again!

[Judith Anne]

Okay. I won't.

[kezekiel]

Anyway, I found it! There are two separate ones: Sirach 2:1-6 and Sirach 4:11-19.

Apocrypha. Not in my Bible. That 'splains it. :)

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Ahhh. Protestant Bible?

[f.Christian]

"We see here our Noah building His wondrous ark for the salvation of His household. We see its beginning, middle, and end. We see its different parts, external and internal; each plank as it is laid, each nail as it is driven in. Its form is perfect; its structure in all details is complete; its strength and stability are altogether divine. Yet with what labour and amid what mockings is this ark constructed! Amid what strong crying and tears, what blood and agony, is it completed! Thus, however, we are assured of its... perfection---and security. Through the deep waters of this evil world it floats in peace. No storm can overset it, no billow break it, nor so much as loosen one of its planks. They who have fled to it as a hiding-place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest, are everlastingly safe."

[Light Speed]

In the last decade or so...believers began to speak about the theme most unsettling..."Where is God".
Many excellent books came forth..allong with testimonies.
We did need this..we needed to say.."I am not sure..I am having doubts".
One book that has had a profound influence in my ever "Mangled.. mobile" life..was by author Philip Yancey..the Book.."Dissapointment with God".
When one discerns that this "Perfect faith" missrepresentation..is actually an individual "Walking out their faith"..the condemnation factor we often bring to bear on ourselfs..falls away...we discover God loves us just as we are..a hard journey..but essential for balance and wellbeing.

At a Crusade..Corie Tenboum was knitting on the podium just behind the main speaker...later it was Her turn to speak.
Corie came forward..and held her knitting up for the crowd to see...the side She presented to them was the back..with hundreds of strands of yarn in a mess of disjointed color and length.
"The Lord is the weaver of the picture of our lives..she said...we see only the disjointed pattern...we tend to become discouraged by the view..we respond in doubt..at the disharmony present before our eyes."
Corie then turned the frame around to show the front..and the beautiful picture that was the tapestry.
"This is what the lord is doing in your lives...He is weaving a tapestry of beauty..a tapestry fashioned by Him..solely for you..a tapestry of purpose..a statement..that you are unique..and you are his handi work".

I used to do many tasks in the steal industry..some were very dangerous.
Once I had to melt ingits of Zinc..in a ceramic cauldron before pouring.
The Zinc begins to purify in stages..one must remove the dross at the surface..continually skimming it...over time and under GREAT HEAT,the impurities are out to such a degree ...that when skimming..and only just for a moment...even with protective gear on..it is hard to draw near and look....you can see your reflection.
Zinc purified appears much like polished silver and chrome...I reflected on this one day after reading the various "Refineing scriptures" in the Bible.
I understood what the Lord was saying....when we walk thru trials..we are refinend like Gold and Silver...the result.
The Lord see's HIS REFLECTION..in the surface[service] of our lives...

[kezekiel]

Protestant Bible, yes. I have read the Apocrypha (got a New American for confirmation in the 8th grade), but I buy from the Protestant shelf these days.

Anyways, that's six of one and half dozen of the other for this conversation. I appreciate what you said about wisdom of the heart vs. wisdom of the mind. This is worthy of more contemplation... You know, we are called to love Him with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength. Does each one of these components manifest love for Him in a different way? Food for thought.

Peace!

[Thorondir]

What she experienced is the Dark Night of the Soul and the Cloud of Unknowing (to quote the titles of those two spiritual classics) that all true seekers of holiness are blessed with. Such dryness trains and sweetens us to the finger of God when he deigns to reach down and caress us. The world is blessed by her traveling here with us and is doubtless blessed by her prayers for us from heaven.

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Cloud of Unknowing was another excellent book.

[Thorondir]

And so what does, being utterly evil while believing? The demons believe in Him far more than you ever will. Look where it gets them. Jesus didn't say just profess faith in me and believe in me. He said take up your cross and follow me. Sounds like a serious call to action, to me.

[Thorondir]

Try waltzing with a partner who just stands there and believes they are dancing with you. for it to work, one leads and the other follows, but it takes two.

This question was answered hundreds of years ago, but the chief heretic refused to listen. And so on and on it goes...