Man Stabbed with Swordfish in Fight

Reuters ^ | 2-22-2002

[Cagey]

MADEIRA BEACH, Fla. (Reuters) - A Florida fisherman was recovering on Friday after being stabbed with the bill of a swordfish during a fight with another man, a sheriff's spokeswoman said.

Police arrested Frank Ashmus, 46, and Garth Spacek, 42, on Thursday after the two fishermen allegedly started fighting near a dock in Madeira Beach, a small city on Florida's Gulf Coast.

Police said that after Spacek hit Ashmus in the head with a beer bottle and left, Ashmus went to Spacek's apartment and stabbed him in the abdomen with a sharp detached bill of a swordfish.

"We don't see this kind of thing very often," said Pinellas County Sheriff spokeswoman Marianna Pasha.

Both men were drunk, according to police.

Ashmus and Spacek were held without bond on charges of aggravated battery. Spacek was in fair condition, Pasha said.

[Travis McGee]

Good to see the old traditions kept alive.

[Lazamataz]

Fed up with all the senseless and unnecessary violence, the Pinellas County Sherrif's department institutes the Swordfish Buy Back Program.

LOL!

[Cagey]

ROFL!!!

[Old Professer]

Oh, you of rapier wit!

[Doctor Stochastic]

Did he do it on porpoise?

[The Chid]

Sounds like the jerk with the beer bottle baited him.

And gave him a Haddock!

[Freemyland]

No no no. That's a swordfish show, where bad guys take advantage of the swordfish show loophole to get around pre-swordfish-purchase background checks.

[Lumberjack]

Did he do it on porpoise?

Well whether he did or didn't, its a whale of a tale!

[MotleyGirl70]

Both men were drunk

No way!!!!

[aculeus]

A fluke occurrence.

[bootless]

There goes his date tonight...

Salmon enchanted evening...

[Freemyland]

Good thing he lived. That would be a crappie way to die.

[Zack Nguyen]

Arrrrrggghhh!

[Diddle E. Squat]

Regarding that mermaid, I lobster and never flounder, she was the bass I ever had, now my life has no porpoise. I'ved kelp her picture in my walleye, I wonder if she still has mine in her perch? Guess I should quite cryin' and whalin', but oh my cod I love her, yes I do. Shellfishly wanting her for myself, she fell for a little shrimp, a piano tuna. He wrapped his line around her and drove off in his carp. I octopus his face in, he'll only break her heart. Maybe she was tired of my seahorsing around and wanted to trout something new. I swordfish she'd come back to me, I'm still in a state of shark. But for her to come back will probably take a mackarel. Our last words were:

"Not tonight dear, I got a haddock."

"Frankly scallop, I don't give a clam."

(Somewhere I owe someone a big apology)

[tracer]

When swordfish are outlawed, only outlaws and angry, homicidal fishermen will have swordfish!!!

If they want my swordfish, they'll have to pry it out of my cold, wet ice tub.....

[Cagey]

Way!

[tracer]

Spacek should have remembered that the pen is mightier than the swordfish.....

[The Chid]

I have lox more fish puns. However, it would be shellfish of me to use them. No one wins a pun war.

[been_lurking]

the Pinellas County Sherrif's department institutes the Swordfish Buy Back Program.

Hah! Everybody knows that the crooks and violent criminal will only sell-back their old, broken and worthless swordfish.
What a waste of hard-earned tax dollars. :^)

[tracer]

Especially with the officiating clergyman and everyone else giggling, sputtering, and cracking up during his funeral and at graveside. And gravediggers can be so cruel....