Child-Free and Carefree

ABC News ^ | February 14, 2002 | Geraldine Sealey

[mrfixit514]

But the package they're selling doesn't match the general public (refering to politicians pushing family-friendly policies)

What a bunch of crap. The general public is built around the traditional family unit. These people are amazingly stupid.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

"...it would be easier to be childless...but my heart would be empty."

I know what you mean. The pain at the mere thought of it is almost unbearable.

'Scuse me...I think I have to go hug them.

[glory]

Well, at least elitist liberals. I know a man like this and while I do think he is going to miss out on something that will help him grow out of his impatience and self centerness, I also think it's a wise choice for someone who is this self centered(and yes, most childless by choice I know would qualify as pretty self absorbed). I'd rather see self sterilization like some of these folks do than abortions though.

glory

oh and I don't think the childfree by choice # is that high. I think some people who are infertile are not being honest and put up a defensive wall that not having children is a choice to cover up some of the pain of trying and failing. I wonder how many of those numbers make up feminist types too having the same reaction as the infertile after never having met the "right person" after all those years of pursuing careers. maybe not signifigantly lower numbers, but lower by some.

[glory]

I agree about the public behavior part, but childless couples need to also realize that everything can not be planned to the letter with children. Children puke, children throw, children do all sorts of things to thier parents' embarressment that they did not intend. Please remember that in many cases, it's not that people haven't taught thier children good behavior, but that children are still learning self control and won't always adhere to those rules ie they are being children. Try and remember, you were a child once too.

I think childless couples should stop griping about things like time off and stuff too. Let's face it, for your inconveniences now, it will be those same children who will be "inconvenienced" by funding your care when you are elderly so it all equals out in the end.

[glory]

funny, I worked in retail very recently and I was not exempted from working sundays even though I did want it off to practice my religion(not because of my kids). I think the place you speak of is an exception, unless you are considering full time employees? I know us part timers never got choice of weekend days off or even any weekend days off.

[The Irishman]

Being a mother is the greatest of all careers. And it requires only the ability to love selflessly.

As a father myself, I would not give up my state of being for anything in this world. And the knowledge I have gained about myself and what it is to be human from being a father causes me to have prejudice against the single person's ability to understand human nature in the same way that a parent does. I'm sure that this void is overcome by many but only with grace and great effort IMO.

Regards.

[glory]

And once again, that is a consequence of a selfish society. I do think some of this has to do with the way these folks are bonded to thier parents. I have some major differences with my folks, but I could never put them in a nursing home unless the illness was so all encompassing that I could not care for them at home. I think what you are probably seeing are the same people who put thier own children in daycare. How do you expect a wife to quit her job for her folks and care for them, when she won't even do it for her own children? Not going to happen. I'm home. I figure I'm caregiver to my children now and in 20 years, I will likely be caregiver for my children as well. My best friend is the same way and her family has already practiced this with dying grandparents and a brother with brain cancer--all cared for at home. There are many of us out here who still do the right thing.

[glory]

Big difference oremus is that protestants don't usually send thier pedophile pastors on to other congregations and keep it hush hush. The catholic church however has and continues to cover up this kind of behavior and that is unnacceptable and your apologies for it are unacceptable. You are sitting here and scorning people who are justifying why they are childfree and yet you sit there and justify evil acts against children because your church says so and, oh, well those worldly protestants do it too so leave my church alone. Come on now.

[PoorRider]

I agree.

Let me clarify something. On both sides of my family (Mom's & Dad's) we have alcoholism. On top of that, disease, cancer, and other hereditary things. I am not sure I ought to bring a child into this world knowing of all the genetic challeneges he or she will face.

Therefore, I choose that IF I meet a person with whom I think we could create healthy kids, within the context of a reasonably stable and happy marriage, and raise them in a positive manner, I will do so.

Otherwise, I will not bear children. If I find in my later years that I am a sufficiently capable, sacrificing and giving enough person to be a parent, I will adopt one of the many children who need homes.

[sonserae]

That's encouraging to hear. I'll be 40 in July and although I wanted kids, my life didn't go that way. I thank God for Him allowing me to experience a great career and time to spend time helping people. Sometimes I think I might not have the patience for parenthood....but when I look back on what I've put up with because of love, I know I will be overjoyed by the prospect of parenthood. God will provide, if it's to be...As for the people who choose not to have children, they have just as much right to decide that. There are enough awful parents in this world without them going that route, if they choose otherwise.

[NYCVirago]

No problem with finding a babysitter, just do what all of the people with kids do, bring them along to the restaurant with you! That way everyone can enjoy being serenaded by your screaming infants, and you can sit there with that "don't look at me, I can't make him stop crying" look on your face.

And how about the ones who pack up the whole family for a big family outing at the grocery store? I'm not talking about single parents here; I'm talking about mom, dad, and all the kids running wild and getting in the way. Geez, find some other entertainment for your kids than having them grab grapes in produce!

[NYCVirago]

Finally, this love is fecund. It is not confined wholly to the loving interchange of husband and wife; it also contrives to go beyond this to bring new life into being. "Marriage and conjugal love are by their nature ordained toward the procreation and education of children. Children are really the supreme gift of marriage and contribute in the highest degree to their parents' welfare."

Question: Does the Catholic Church refuse to marry couples who are no longer of childbearing age?

[oremus]

Get lost. I never justified any evil acts. Typical anti-Catholic vomit.

[oremus]

While here I thought I'd answer for Aquinasfan.

No, the Catholic Church does not forbid such marriages.

What the Church does forbid is contraception in a marriage, between spouses who are fertile. (However, Natural Family Planning, which uses the natural bodily rhythms to determine fertile times and works with that, is acceptable when used for the right reasons.)

[fella]

Who will weep at your grave? And who will inherit what you build?

Like all so called happy people you sound very selfish.

[fella]

It's the way of the world girl and has been so scince before we were taught how to write. Get used to it.

[Mr. Bird]

Typically, I am more amused with rambunctious children in public than I am annoyed. Lord knows it can't be easy keeping them under control. My beef is with the parents who are clearly not concerned with the behavior at all. And I agree about the griping: this is one of those, "to each his own" topics, in my opinion.

[ReaganGirl]

"It's the way of the world girl......Get used to it."

Yes, I agree...narrowminded people have always felt the need to impose their beliefs on the rest of society...but being abloe to think for myself, I refuse to get use to it.

[rogercolleridge]

So, you'd rather those kids be in daycare, right? Perhaps they should take the kids away right after birth, so those mothers don't bond with the babies; then they'll have no problem going back to work.

Is six weeks really enough time to spend with the child??

[rogercolleridge]

Actually it's not called maternity leave anymore..it's called "Family and Medical leave" and it no longer applies only to maternity. Fathers can take it up to six weeks, and any employee in the US can take if for a variety of reasons...to care for an elderly parent, spouse, etc.

Yeah, but that's unpaid leave. And if it applies to everyone then it's fair. I'm all for it. I'm talking about people who know darn well they're not coming back to work -- but still take the money anyway. That's completely unfair to the employer. Paid maternity leave is not a right -- the employer puts the policy in place to hold onto valued employees. These people are not keeping their end of the bargain and it stinks.