Missing Danielle Parents Allegedly Swingers

Larry King Live ^ | Brenda & Damon Van Dam

[Petronski]

Larry asked them about it just now on Larry King Live (2-11-2), and they refused to deny it.

[maxwell]

Saw 'em on the news last night advertising their 25k reward... Looked kinda fishy to me. Dear ol' mum didn't look quite as devastated as you might figure... C.f. that woman who had her kid swiped at a Chicago bus stop over the holidays. She had enough hysterics for an entire NOW chapter.

[HamiltonJay]

Actually, not. Sorry, but married couples who swap partners are not following the norms of our society. I am not talking here so much about the details of a married couple's intimacy together. But the fact that they switch partners is weird. Why marry? Why have children when you are going to expose them to such? In fact, these folks are now missing a child, possibly because people following their lifestyle had access to their home. I realize we do not know what happened to Danielle, and this could be proven to be wrong. But it still remains a possibility. And these children have continual exposure to immoral parents.

Not following Societies publicly accepted norms is hardly the definition of evil. I make a point to say PUBLICLY because the number of married individuals engaging in sexual activities outside there marriage is higher than most will every publicly admit or realize to anywhere from 1/3 to 2/3rds have cheated depending on the study. Open and/or Swinging relationships have been around long before this country, and will be around long after its gone.

As to why marry if you going to have an open relationship sexually? You would have to ask those engaged, but I would bet dollars to dougnuts you will find reasons as broad as the rainbow. My guess would be they for their own reasons have decided to spend their lives together, relationships are far more than sex, at least to anyone with a maturity level above 18.. in fact that's overall one of the lesser qualities that will ensure a long term relationships success.

Now as to exposing the children to such, this is where you really are losing me. Exposing them to what? No one has alleged they engaged in their activities around or in front of their children. (Assuming they even were swingers, which let us not forget is nothing more than a rumor at best at this point) If this couple got their jollies going to clubs and having casual sex with others, I don't have to agree with it, but I don't see how this alone exposed their child to something evil. No more than the couple who goes to the bar every once in a while. I think none of us live adult lives with no adult content that children should not be exposed to... but just because we do things as adults when children are not around does not mean that we expose our children to them simply by the fact we did them... this seems a bit of a stretch to me.

Now, I will be the first to condemn these two if they indeed were bad parents, and if their sexual picadillos put their children at risk, I will definately be all over their butts. However, as of yet there is nothing other than rumor and speculations... Something definately does not smell right with this, but I will wait before I condemn them as bad parents to at least hear something that isn't rumor that shows them being bad parents.

[HamiltonJay]

C.f. that woman who had her kid swiped at a Chicago bus stop over the holidays. She had enough hysterics for an entire NOW chapter.

Now that woman in my mind DEFINATELY lacked in parenting skills, she lets a complete stranger just walk away with her kid.. accepting a car ride with someone she doesn't know etc etc etc.... Want to talk about someone who wasn't thinking and put their child at risk, that woman definately did.

[a_witness]

Name-calling and insult is not argument, sir. If you wish to make an argument in favor of "swinging," make one. If you can't construct a proper argument, who are you to call me "ignorant"?

We didn't ask to hear about their sexual addictions and depravities but a few individuals choose to constantly flout them on these threads over and over again. Who in their right mind would post things about their spouse on a public forum if they had even a modicum of respect for said spouse ?

[MizSterious]

Luis, with all due respect, you're as judgmental as everyone else. You've judged those of us who feel the family contributed to the child's disappearance by their lifestyle. You've judged people who posted here for "not praying" for Danielle. (Alas, you hadn't done your research: many had been praying.) I don't know who will be most distressed at the Pearly Gates, though--those of us who judged the van Dams' lifestyle as deviant and harmful to their children, or the van Dams themselves, for not using any judgment at all.

[NYCVirago]

What I find most disturbing in contemporary America, is that today it is not sin -- but the condemnation of sin -- that outrages people. You can screw everything that walks, but let somebody work up the nerve to say, "Hey, that's wrong," and suddenly everybody's jumping up and down and screaming "Censorship! Intolerance! First Amendment!"

And it's not just that -- if you think that swinging is simply a really bad idea for a variety of reasons, you're automatically condemned as repressed and told that you think sex is sinful and called a religious fanatic.

[wimpycat]

Want to talk about someone who wasn't thinking and put their child at risk, that woman definately did.

I think this whole thing is also about not thinking and putting their child at risk. Not checking on your children for close to 12 hours straight (assuming the parents' story is true), even after the alarms were tripped and the door was open is DEFINITELY NOT THINKING AND NOW THEIR CHILD IS GONE! I pity them for how they are probably kicking themselves over this. If they love their children (and I'm sure they do) they're going to go through that night over and over and over in their heads and they are going to wish with all their hearts that they had done something differently.

I'll tell you one thing, if they were swingers (and I don't doubt it, seeing as how they won't deny it), I think that their swinging days are now over.

[Don Myers]

Post 585. Take two aspirins and call back in the morning, Tom.

[bray]

Have you noticed that the so called tolerent people are absolutely intolerent of people with the opposite opinion. It only proves that they are in conflict with their conscience when they hear common sense. These folks lived a risky lifestyle and exposed their child to those risks of which she paid.

Pray for GW and the Truth

[HamiltonJay]

All I am going to say is that, I am not going to jump to conclusions... yes not checking on your children for 12 hours if true is a bit strange in the situation portrayed. But I am not going to level virdict against them as bad parents because they may or may not have been swingers.

Lack of denial is hardly proof of guilt, Clinton denied having anything to do with Lewinsky. They may be swingers they may not.. either way, I am not going to condemn them as bad parents even if they were. If they did something to put their children at risk, related to being swingers or not, then I will judge those acts as to whether or not they were.

Time will tell with this case, and I pray that this child and all missing children are found safe.

[Don Myers]

"And it's not just that -- if you think that swinging is simply a really bad idea for a variety of reasons, you're automatically condemned as repressed and told that you think sex is sinful and called a religious fanatic."

John The Baptist was beheaded for just this reason. They killed Christ who condemned sin. The prophets of the OT days were villified and mocked. They still cannot have anyone tell them that they do wrong. The nature of man has not changed over these many years. They find their "pleasure" in the very things that will kill them.

[Don Myers]

Post 606. Please see my post 615.

[Don Myers]

"Who in their right mind would post things about their spouse on a public forum if they had even a modicum of respect for said spouse ?"

It is my personal opinion that any man who would let his wife be with another man cares nothing for his wife.

[tpaine]

First you imagine 'evil', now you've imagined making a reply.

Why bother posting?

[Don Myers]

Tom, I long ago gave up any hope for your posts to make any sense. I just don't take you seriously.

[wimpycat]

All I am going to say is that, I am not going to jump to conclusions... yes not checking on your children for 12 hours if true is a bit strange in the situation portrayed. But I am not going to level virdict against them as bad parents because they may or may not have been swingers.

Did you not jump to conclusions when passing judgement on the young woman whose baby was stolen from the bus station on Christmas eve? Why are you reserving judgement on these parents when you have no trouble deeming the other one irresponsible.

Did being swingers make them "bad parents"? Who knows? On the surface, they were irresponsible. They were certainly irresponsible on that night. You can call failure to check your kids for 12 hours straight strange, but I call it irresponsible. If they had a good reason for not checking the kids, any reasonable person would have given one, don't you think? And since we're not a judge and jury and they're not on trial for being swingers, I'm not going to apply courtroom levels of evidence to my speculation. Since I'm not a juror and they're not on trial, I'm free to construe their lack of denial of their lifestyle as a confirmation. Any reasonable person would deny it if it weren't true.

As to whether their lifestyle led to their failure to check on their children, that's a different story....

But I want to make it clear that I in no way believe that this whole thing is some sort of divine punishment for their lifestyle, or for being "bad parents". We only know that on that particular night they behaved irresponsibly. I have no idea how they treated their kids every other night.