Posted on 02/08/2002 11:16:42 AM PST by Cagey
It's Great To Be A Man
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Same work... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch or fart is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
One mood, ALL the darn time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."
You don't mooch off other's desserts.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
"Animal House is a liberal movie."
Actually, it's an anarchist movie. I like the bit where the hippie's playing "I gave my love a cherry" on the guitar and Belushi snatches it from him and smashes it to pieces.
*Pluh-ease* do you really believe that? A straight "A" student watches one movie then nearly ruins his academic career?
There was a lot of "pent-upness" in that boy that busted loose once the sheltering restriction of Mom and Dad were removed.
Blaming it on the movie is a scape goat.
Amen,........More Grace and Mercy,........In Jesus' Precious Name, Amen!!!
(Remember, 'the man', Ted Maher,....a Vet & Citizen of USA!)
?? Another, 'Philip Nolan'??
:-(
Ick! I have to go camping next week. That's one area I am not looking forward to.
Just remember that any three-leafed ground cover makes a fine substitue for toilet paper.
No sweat...
Are all the women you know bitter or is it just you?
Maybe you can hold it in for a few days? ..LOL
"It's Great to HAVE a man!" lol...and I agreed completely!
But, you challenged me to a comment, so here goes:
A man will drop everything, change anything, or go anywhere because of the right woman.....
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.