[GrandMoM]

....since this thread will obviously attract many males I find this a great opportunity to give you men some advice. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, when your mate is whitin ten feet of you, turn your head, sigh, wiggle in your seat, step behind your mate, or droole, when a sexy young thing walks into the room or is on the TV because your mate will see you, don't fool yourself, she is watching you.

Reserve that addiction until she is nowhere around you. I have seen hundreds of men suffer in-humane treatment for months on end for that brainless iniquity.

[txhurl]

You go, Gmom!

Men don't seem to get that we women can get -uhm- 'courted' 10 times before our men can even get a phone number, yet we don't flaunt that by making goo goos at the foxy little studs we're constantly running into.

Heck, maybe we oughta start. Goose and gander sauce and all that.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

And don't make "beeep-beeep-beeep" truck noises when she backs away to close the fridge door.

[Tennessee_Bob]

....since this thread will obviously attract many males

Here's a better suggestion. By no means allow the female to watch any daytime talk television programs, lest you want to be accused of any and everything under the sun.

There is nothing more fun than coming home from working on jet engines all day, trying to take off your uniform, and having the woman you're married to say "You remind me of this guy I saw on Oprah today and he was doing (insert specific bad thing here)." And then having her mad at you the rest of the week for whatever it was.