THE HILLARY, YOU KNOW, CLINTON TRANSCRIPT: Analyzed and Annotated

CNN-Greenfield at Large | 1-23-02 | Mia T

[Mia T]

THE HILLARY, YOU KNOW, CLINTON TRANSCRIPT:

Analyzed and Annotated

by Mia T

January 22, 2002

 

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE [YOU KNOW] 'UPDATED'

 

ABSTRACT

Background:

Using internal polling, the clinton 'infrastructure' determined that its cozy-clintonoid-interviews-of-the-Colmes/King-kind scheme is no longer working. The scheme, which successfully shepherded and shielded the vacuous, inept, corrupt clintons for nine years, is now, post-9/11, yielding diminishing returns--and worse--increasing ridicule.

Hence, we had the clinton 'infrastructure' interviewer recalculation last week that specified more interviewer gravitas...and less lapdog...but not more doggedness...that is to say...that specified Jeff Greenberg.

A miscalculation, as it turned out. Greenberg made up in contempt what he lacked in inexorability. (Although he conducted the entire interview circumambulating on eggshells, Greenberg did eventually ask the ugly questions.)

Analysis:

Greenberg's circuitous path to clinton depravity and failure necessitates a nonlinear analysis of the data; we will use a nonlinear least squares curve fitter. Proportional hazards political survival regression analysis will generate a political survival curve for hillary clinton, which will show her viability (so to speak) over time.

Political survival time is defined as the length of the interval between the initial political trial balloon and political moribundity. Political moribundity is defined as two consecutive political failures--(one in the case of 9/11), or three not-necessarily-consecutive boo-filled public appearances, or one instance of a serious proposal generating laughter.

ASIDE: Since by any of these standards, hillary clinton is already flatlined, the more interesting question for this analysis would be: "What the hell is this moribund loser doing in the political arena, anyway?"

Survival is influenced by one or more factors, called "predictors" or "covariates", which may be categorical (such as the quality of 'infrastructure') or continuous (such as intellect or eloquence or character).

Results:

• clinton rigor mortis rendered any discussion of clinton moribundity moot.
• Nonetheless, one of the more significant continuous predictors of political moribundity is clinton's tic-like insertion of "you know," a marker for ineloquence, vulgarity, ignorance, rube-meets-valley-girl demographics, low self-esteem, anxiety and insincerity.
• clinton uttered "you know" 52 times. (Greenfield eventually caught the bug and uttered six "you knows," himself.) Frequency of clinton "you knows" varied directly with intensity of Greenfield contempt and inversely with magnitude of Greenfield softballs.
• clinton confirmed my hypothesis of Rubin complicity in a clinton coup. See "The Daschle Scheme".

GREENFIELD: Tonight, a conversation with Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton on the nation and the world after September 11, on GREENFIELD AT LARGE.

THE COMPLETE ANNOTATED INTERVIEW

[Mia T]

Q ERTY6 you know ping!

[stanz]

clinton uttered "you know" 52 times.

And she inserts a lot of "ahs". That's her generations' equivalent of "like." Ever sit on a bus and listen to teens and 20's conversations? It's almost as bad as listening to Her Heinous.

[IVote2]

Another of your "Must keep" posts Mia.

It doesn't take a W to say "Uh" and "You know". (I am waiting for another of your QWERTY delights.) :o)

[southernnorthcarolina]

Brevity is the soul of wit.

[Mia T]

Great suggestion...but, you know, "you know" does have a "w"... ;)

[Mia T]

You're, you know, right. That's why I, you know, stashed the annotated transcript in a, you know, remote location. ;)

[maica]

Fabulous work, ya know!

[IVote2]

Ah shucks.. so it does. Do they spell knoW that way in Arkansas?

[southernnorthcarolina]

Just twisting your tail a bit, in a gentle way. You're very creative, and I enjoy your posts. But they (or their links) do tend to run on.

FReegards
SNC

[UCANSEE2]

Just twisting your tail a bit, in a gentle way. You're very creative, and I enjoy your posts. But they (or their links) do tend to run on.

You might want to consider (art imitates life!) that there is a reason her posts on HIll and BIll,

RUN ON and ON and ON and ON.

[Soaring Feather]

Good job, you knowwwwwww!!!!

[southernnorthcarolina]

Excellent point. And certainly the fact that Rodham-Clinton was elected Senator will have the effect of keeping both of them in our faces for years to come. If I live to be 100, I'll never understand how even such a liberal state as NY elected this heinous woman.

[Slyfox]

The only way they can win is to convince people that we're space aliens. -- Bill Clinton

You know...we won. Musta worked.

[Paul Atreides]

Take any business and/or speech classes and they will tell you that the uses of "uh" and "you know" are very unprofessional. Yet, you will never hear the press go after ol' Thunder Thighs' speech patterns like they will W's.

[be-baw]

we will use a nonlinear least squares curve fitter. Proportional hazards political survival regression analysis will generate a political survival curve for hillary clinton, which will show her viability (so to speak) over time.

You're breaking new and (you know) very exciting ground here, Mia. Now there will be text books written using your finely-honed analytical techniques.

Brilliant stuff here.

[Mia T]

You might want to consider (art imitates life!) that there is a reason her posts on HIll and BIll, RUN ON and ON and ON and ON. --UCANSEE2

 

You make an excellent point. I must remember that one. ;)

I would hasten to add that in the case of the clintons, the converse, (life imitates art), also applies...

Note that in the interest of brevity, I am adding the following warning to the transcript link:

THE COMPLETE ANNOTATED INTERVIEW (NB: a very long, you know, download because of the, you know, clinton criminal, you know, redundancy.)

[Mia T]

SORRY! WRONG LINK

SHOULD BE: life imitates art