MEN -- ACCORDING TO WOMEN (Hilarious)

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[MeneMeneTekelUpharsin]

Men – According to Women

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW ....WHO UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Men are like a fine wine.

They all start out like grapes, and it's a womans job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

[avenir]

Single. Straight. Celibate. Attractive (so I'm told). Sometimes nice.

But keeps your paws offs my monies: It's for my Infiniti!

[avenir]

Women have always held feminine power over men through their allure. The more "male" power they get, though, the less alluring they seem.

[Neets]

You know the deal dude!!!!

[Rudder]

Women: Can't live with them and you can't live without them.

Oops!

What I said was.

"Women: Can't live with them and you can't live with them."

My little distortion of the old saying--the one you posted--is closer to the truth. (Hehe)

[John SBM]

Try this, put your best ones on a bumper sticker and enter an on-line bumper sticker contest. See this thread:

The FReeper Challenge 1; Inviting All FReepers: Bumper Sticker Contest!

[rintense]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I got this in an email earlier this week! So true, so true...

[poet]

To reverse an old saying " men have many faults,
women have but two,
every thing they say and everything they do.
but you gotta love women for their ability to drive us crazy

[CheneyChick]

Ping.....

[freesthinker]

Try this web site for a different, but similar view

http://www.Fredoneverything.net/AsianWomen.html

[bobbyd]

I want my rib back.

[Fred Hayek]

"Not necessarily shy, just tired of being strung along, only to be dumped later in favor of a total a**hole who's better looking and/or has more money, because the woman thinks she's going to stomp on him and turn him into a nice man."

I've been convinced that many women are indeed looking for jerks. I've been tempted to use a parody pickup line in a bar:

"Yo, bimbo!
I'm Mr. Sleaze!
I'm what you want and
I'm what tou need!"

There's a second lince, but JimRob would ban me
The scary thought is the line might actually work!

[Fred Hayek]

"Not necessarily shy, just tired of being strung along, only to be dumped later in favor of a total a**hole who's better looking and/or has more money, because the woman thinks she's going to stomp on him and turn him into a nice man."

I've been convinced that many women are indeed looking for jerks. I've been tempted to use a parody pickup line in a bar:

"Yo, bimbo!
I'm Mr. Sleaze!
I'm what you want and
I'm what tou need!"

There's a second line, but JimRob would ban me
The scary thought is the line might actually work!

[riley1992]

ROTFL. I don't know what's funnier, this:

They all start out like grapes, and it's a womans job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

Or the revelation given earlier. Hahahaha

[.45MAN]

All you women out there need to remember that it is the Mothers of the world that form the character of all men, so what you get is what you have created, and you keep dooing it over and over and over.......

[Capriole]

My word, I'm just horrified at all the hostility and bitterness on this thread. In that sense it's no different from any of the other threads about the relations between men and women.

Gentlemen, women are not some strange, incomprehensible life-form that exists only to hurt, deceive, and exploit you. They're human beings like you, and like you they're lonely and looking for love. If some woman dumped you and broke your heart, there are several possible explanations. One is that she was simply a rotten bitch. A more likely explanation is that she is a good person who simply realized something you didn't, which is that you and she are not right for each other. A third is that she is a good person who made a mistake and didn't realize that you and she are absolutely perfect for one another.

Ladies, men are not some strange, incomprehensible life-form that exists only to hurt, deceive, and exploit you. They're human beings like you, and like you they're lonely and looking for love. If some man dumped you and broke your heart, there are several possible explanations. One is that he was simply a rotten bastard. A more likely explanation is that he is a good person who simply realized something you didn't, which is that you and he are not right for each other. A third is that he is a good person who made a mistake and didn't realize that you and he are absolutely perfect for one another.

There are lots of wonderful people of the opposite sex out there--literally billions of them. There are two ways you can respond to this fact. You can go looking for one, and make yourself into the best version of yourself you can so that you'll be desirable to him or her. Or you can immerse yourself in miserable lonely onanism for the rest of your embittered life. Which course seems preferable?

There are lots of truly wonderful single or divorced people out there, longing for love. If there are problems between the genders (I've come to believe) it's mostly due to bad communication and inappropriate, earth-bound expectations on both sides. Still, those things are readily fixable.

Good luck to all of us!

[Neets]

I'd HAVE to go with the Revelation...must be some kinda miracle..they do happen you know????

Oh sheeesh....stop me before I get in trouble!!!

[riley1992]

...must be some kinda miracle..they do happen you know????

Must be that extra candle I lit at Mass. Next time, I'm asking for something for me.

[Betteboop]

these are all too funny!!!!!!lololololololol

[tacticalogic]

. If there are problems between the genders (I've come to believe) it's mostly due to bad communication and inappropriate, earth-bound expectations on both sides.

IMHO, in too many cases the women start out thinking the men are going to change, and the men start out thinking the women aren't going to change, and they both end up disappointed.

[Urbane_Guerilla]

American women (generally) are fearful of men who are their intellectual superiors ... that is why even conservative women subscribe to the hilarious idea that men are fearful of smart women ... when, in fact, it is a woman's intelligence and thus her principles which makes an appealing difference to most men ... smart men cause most women to assign the disparity to some moral failing, when the failing is in fact junk thinking by women who accept fairy tales as reality