Posted on 01/20/2002 4:53:24 AM PST by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW ....WHO UNDERSTANDS MEN?
Men are like a fine wine.
They all start out like grapes, and it's a womans job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
OMG, Sis, you found this and didn't tell the coquettes?
LOL!
Personal experience?
Most women don't need a drug that makes their hips larger.
The "date rape" one is rohypnol, and it is illegal in this country.
--Boris
They all start out like grapes, and end up like raisins, when the women are done remaking them.
I always refer to the "sound it out" method of spelling, but in Texas it never sounds like its spelled.
People get hurt...
Sometimes fatally!
Want to go out for a drink after work?
Not necessarily shy, just tired of being strung along, only to be dumped later in favor of a total a**hole who's better looking and/or has more money, because the woman thinks she's going to stomp on him and turn him into a nice man.
I can't wait to see what some of the boys are going to have to say about this. You know they never leave well enough alone. ;-)
My guess: Another woman found you to be a good catch (they'll trust one-another's judgement in guys) and, should they succeed in turning your head, it'd be a feather in their cap. The foxier the competition, the bigger the feather :)
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.
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