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All I Want for Christmas...Parents, You May Be Surprised
Momscape ^ | Linda Sharp

Posted on 12/18/2001 6:23:36 AM PST by SAMWolf

I am a huge advocate of parents getting into their children's schools on a regular basis. As a stay-at-home mom, I am able to assist in my daughters' classrooms each week. Whether helping with art projects, reading or spelling, it keeps me connected and allows me direct insight into my girls' day-to-day lives. It also affords me the opportunity to connect with other children. And connect I do. The hugs and openness with which I am greeted are huge indicators that I have broken through that Grown-up/Child barrier.

It could be that when I go into the school, I don't dress like an authority figure. You won't find me wearing Chinos, skirts, loafers, untouchable hair or any other spiffy adult attire. Instead, look for the person clad in sweatpants or jeans, a comfy sweater and a baseball cap . . . always a baseball cap. I come prepared to hug, get dirty on the playground and sweep the floor with my butt during reading circle. I also come with enough hugs to go around, twice. As a result, I have been granted access into the Inner Sanctum of the Schoolyard.

Last week while working on an art project with a rotating group of kids we talked about music, movies, swear words, parents, the holidays. As talk turned to what they hoped would be under their tree for Christmas or part of their Hannukah 7 Day Gift Haul, I decided to take advantage of my "non-threatening" status and pose the question: "Name one thing you would like your Mom or Dad to give you this season that would not cost a penny." You could have heard that penny hit the floor as silence enveloped them, and their young minds went to work. As they each took turns answering, I was moved to tears by their candor, their honesty and in some cases the heartbreaking realities revealed in their words.

It is my holiday gift to you all that I share what your kids REALLY want this year. And no, a Play Station 2 is nowhere on the lists of their hearts.

Listen To Me Please: At the top of their lists is for we parents to stop being so busy all the time and just listen to them talk. I know I have been guilty of this one. God knows, we really are not interested in hearing about the latest unpronounceable character in their Harry Potter books, but we need to stop, look them in the eye, and listen. If we don't, they will simply stop trying. And we all know that the teenage days will come when they won't want to discuss anything with us, be it Harry Potter or their newly hairy pits.

Teach Me To Cook: I was surprised by this request, but when I pressed for an explanation, it quickly became clear. We are raising a generation of Microwave Kids. They know how to use every button on the magic box, but have no idea how to simmer, bake or boil. Granted, there is great messiness in allowing your youngsters to cook with you, but take it from me, some of my happiest memories are in the kitchen with my Mom, dusted with flour and smudged with love.

Please Stop Smoking: One child spoke this wish and it was quickly echoed by many others. They have seen enough commercials to be truly concerned about your health and their own, but it goes a bit further than that. One young girl pulled me aside and whispered her reason in my ear, "The other kids say I always smell bad." I hugged her close and bent to kiss her head and she was right. Her hair did not smell of Johnson & Johnson's, but of Benson & Hedges. Not her choice and certainly not fair.

Stop Being So Busy All The Time: If guilt were a color, I would have been painted with it when I heard this one. How many of us use the phrase, "Just a minute . . ." or "Hold on . . ." too much? Personally, there have been too many times I have looked up after "just a minute" to find my child has given up waiting and is gone.

Read To Me: We tend to think that once a child can read, our job is done. Actually, these children expressed a desire to have Mom or Dad read a chapter book TO them each night. And while they would really enjoy the reading, it leads to a deeper desire . . . the other request that made me choke back a tear . . .

Hug Me More: I experience these children each week when I enter the classrooms. They cling to me tighter than a wet pair of Levi's. They are the ones that are not getting enough hugs and snuggling and attention at home. For them, I hug them not once, not twice, but as much and as long as they need. So while you are running around doing that last minute shopping, add some of these items to your own child's list. Rich or poor, they are all things that cost not a dime and we all have in endless supply. We just have to stop and open our arms and hearts a little wider.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
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1 posted on 12/18/2001 6:23:36 AM PST by SAMWolf
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To: SAMWolf
BIG TIME MAMA BUMP!!!!!

Reading ***Hug Me More*** brought me to tears. Poor little kiddos have to *ask* for hugs? Rips me up.

Gotta go now...need to hug my daughter. ;o)

2 posted on 12/18/2001 6:35:21 AM PST by homeschool mama
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To: figit; brad's gramma; spookbrat; goodieD; Dr. Octagon; Dr. GoodWillHunting; Miss Marple
ping
3 posted on 12/18/2001 6:37:16 AM PST by homeschool mama
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To: SAMWolf
"Name one thing you would like your Mom or Dad to give you this season that would not cost a penny."

It is my holiday gift to you all that I share what your kids REALLY want this year. And no, a Play Station 2 is nowhere on the lists of their hearts.

Well DUH. Since the writer of this article already set the conditions that whatever they wanted couldn't cost anything, of COURSE there will not be any listing of Playstations, X-Boxes, Transformers, etc...

4 posted on 12/18/2001 6:38:17 AM PST by zandtar
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To: SAMWolf
Great post.

Someone once said "You'll never lie on your deathbed wishing you had spent more time at the office."

5 posted on 12/18/2001 6:42:42 AM PST by Tourist Guy
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To: SAMWolf
Nice article except for the baseball cap and sweats.
Mommies are supposed to be pretty.
How would you feel if as a little kid your mother looked like a bum?
6 posted on 12/18/2001 6:43:37 AM PST by japaneseghost
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To: homeschool mama
I have to admit that I'm guilty of the "Stop Being So Busy All The Time" more often than I'd like to be.
7 posted on 12/18/2001 6:45:10 AM PST by SAMWolf
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To: SAMWolf
Good article. But Tabitha Soren wants to know how you can waste time talking about children while babies are being aborted. Where are your priorities? (/sarcasm)
8 posted on 12/18/2001 6:45:50 AM PST by LJLucido
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To: zandtar
While I commend this lady for being involved, if she has all this time on her hands she would do better to homeschool her child. She sounds just a bit self righteous and PC.
9 posted on 12/18/2001 6:46:22 AM PST by widowithfoursons
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To: widowithfoursons
While I commend this lady for being involved, if she has all this time on her hands she would do better to homeschool her child. She sounds just a bit self righteous and PC.

How dare you criticize this woman who cares so much more than you do. (/sarcasm)

10 posted on 12/18/2001 6:52:38 AM PST by Lizavetta
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To: SAMWolf
"Name one thing you would like your Mom or Dad to give you this season that would not cost a penny."

And no, a Play Station 2 is nowhere on the lists of their hearts.

Well, of course not. You had already instructed them not to list items that cost money. Duh.

11 posted on 12/18/2001 6:54:17 AM PST by Lizavetta
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To: widowithfoursons; zandtar
Dittos, friend. I think she made this whole thing up. From the very first sentence, I found it too "sweet" to stomach. And what Zandtar pointed out about the Playstations just makes me believe it more, that the whole thing is fabricated.

But she's a good mama, isn't she? She makes sure you know it.

12 posted on 12/18/2001 6:55:03 AM PST by 2Jedismom
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To: widowithfoursons
My beef with the article is how it attempts to go the standard "guilt" routine with parents, by setting conditions for the children's answers and then presenting them as what they "really" want. Baloney. I bet if you took each and every one of those kids, and said "What do you want for Christmas" without adding that 'no cost' conditional, they'd all be listing toys and games. They're kids, it's natural.
13 posted on 12/18/2001 6:55:45 AM PST by zandtar
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To: Lizavetta
Re: Post #10

Ha! Exactly.

14 posted on 12/18/2001 6:56:32 AM PST by 2Jedismom
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To: homeschool mama
I am a huge advocate of parents getting into their children's schools on a regular basis.

I'm a huge advocate of parents teaching their children school on a daily basis.

;-)

15 posted on 12/18/2001 6:59:01 AM PST by 2Jedismom
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Comment #16 Removed by Moderator

To: SAMWolf;lawgirl;ohiowfan;patriciaruth;ladyinred;goodied;GretchenEE;kayak;Republic;wPhile;
A big sharing-this-wonderful-post-with-friends BUMP!
17 posted on 12/18/2001 7:00:31 AM PST by mtngrl@vrwc
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To: Lizavetta; wasp69; cantfindagoodscreenname; BallandPowder; wyopa; joathome; Momto2; RipeforTruth...
Something to make you chuckle today!
18 posted on 12/18/2001 7:02:30 AM PST by 2Jedismom
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To: SAMWolf
well, I feel good about myself as a parent now...
19 posted on 12/18/2001 7:02:32 AM PST by fod
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To: widowithfoursons
if she has all this time on her hands she would do better to homeschool her child.

- Not all parents are cut out to homeschool. my wife and I are not.
- We assume she's talking public school, but maybe the kid is in a parochial or other private school.
- Not all public schools are socialist breeding grounds. We happen to live in a very conservative county with a very good public school system. Move me three miles to the east (from the county to the city) and we'd homeschool/private school in a heartbeat. But for right now, we are very confident of the education our kids are getting.

I think the key with this mom is not homeschool vs. public school, but the fact that she's directly involved with her child's education.

20 posted on 12/18/2001 7:02:48 AM PST by Ward Smythe
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