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Godless Linguistics
University of Ediacara Bizarre Theories Collection ^ | 1997-12-17 | Christopher Heiny

Posted on 12/10/2001 6:54:18 AM PST by Junior

Gail Davis' "Godless Linguistics" theory is one of the best to appear on talk.origins in some time. In her own words:

What gave me the idea for it is that I'm a science teacher and there's an english teacher at my school that wants to have an Email debate. He's a creationist. So I came up with this one to get him to see what it would be like to have the shoe on the other foot.

Technically, the theory she presented was "Scientific Babelism", a bible-based alternative to the atheistic teachings found in modern schools. However, the original post's subject of "Godless Linguistics" seems to be more popular when referring to the topic.

Below are her original post, plus some followups that further explicate the horrors of Godless Linguistics and the purity of Scientific Babelism and related theories.


From: 2DAVIS@msn.com (Gail Davis)
Subject: Godless Linguistics!
Date: 24 Dec 96 02:21:13 -0800
Message-ID: <00002182+00014f65@msn.com>
Newsgroups: talk.origins

To all t.o. readers,

Clearly, we can see the very structure of our civilization crumbling 
around our ears.  Sexual perversion runs rampant as our once-proud 
moral culture slides ever closer to the gaping maw of oblivion.  One 
need only turn on the TV to witness ample evidence of the degradation 
of our current Godless society, slipping closer to destruction with 
the wanton disregard for proper diction, and the torrid abomination 
of corrupted grammar!

Why, just listen to the "music" of the young people these days.  Such 
trash!  The words slur together (when they can be understood at all) 
into a putrid mush of incomplete sentences and split infinitives.  
It's awful.  And it has been PROVEN to induce young people to commit 
acts of violence, theft, and unwed pregnancy.  And surely, it is no 
mere coincidence that this dire threat to the fabric of our very 
civilization coincides exactly with the indoctrination of our young 
people with Godless LINGUISTICS in the public schools.

Our public schools have turned away from the source of Truth, to 
teach our children that our sacred English language has descended 
from other languages.  The poor impressionable youngsters are taught 
AS A FACT that English words have certain "root words", even though 
this is only a theory.  The FACT is, God Almighty created all 
languages complete when he confused mankind's original language as 
punishment for our transgression at the tower of Babel.  But the 
athiest/lingusts don't want this mentioned in public settings, 
because it goes against their FAITH, and forces them to face their 
own accountability.  So they have BANNED the teaching of Babelism, 
because they are afraid that it might expose the weakness of their 
own linguistic ideas.  Is this fair?  I don't think so.  It goes 
against all that America stands for.

Therefore, join me in the campaign to have a balanced and fair 
treatment in public education.  All english teachers should be 
required to include Babelism as a valid alternate theory to 
Linguisticism, whenever the origins of the English language is 
discussed.

Oh, of course we can expect opposition from the entrenched vested 
interests.  They will point to certain similarities (i.e. "mother", 
"madre" "mater") as evidence of the relatedness of various languages. 
 But this is a complete misinterpretation of the evidence.  Clearly 
it is more economical for God to use similar phonic structures to 
designate similar meanings.  Therefore, the existence of such 
similarities PROOVES that the various languages must have had the 
same author.

Second, a language is a complex thing.  The odds that some first 
speaker could randomly string together a complex series of sounds, 
and then multiply this by the odds that someone else would UNDERSTAND 
him, and the probablity could be calculated to be less than 1 in 
10^500.  That's a one with five hundred zero's.  A statistical 
impossibility.  Obviously, the first language must have a designer:  
God.

Third, there is NO evidence that transitional languages ever existed. 
 What use is half a language?  A noun without verbs conveys no 
meaning!  Sure, there is middle and old- English.  But these are 
ENGLISH!  A complete nontransitional language.  We do not deny that 
micro-lingustics can happen, but this process can create only 
DIALECTS.  There is NO EVIDENCE that a series of random 
micro-lingustic events can create a WHOLE NEW LANGUAGE.  I'll beleive 
in Macro-linguistics when I see a video tape of a child growing up in 
an Eskimo village suddenly become fluent in Armenian!  It takes A LOT 
MORE FAITH to beleive in athieistic linguisticism than the truth of 
Babelism.  

So join me in the crusade:  Babelism must be included in the public 
school English curriculum.

There are only two theories which explain the origin of our language: 
 Babelism and Linguisticism.  Shouldn't they BOTH be given a fair 
hearing?

Thank you.

*********************
Visit a Classroom
*********************


From: 2DAVIS@msn.com (Gail Davis)
Subject: Godless Linguistics!
Date: 25 Dec 96 03:17:23 -0800
Message-ID: <00002182+00014fb9@msn.com>
Newsgroups: talk.origins

Milo King (notreally@parody.com) writes:
>Carl (csjj@madeup.com) writes:

>>Sorry.  The word "woodpecker" is simply far to complex to develop
>>naturaly, as has been PROVED to you many times before.  
>>Learn the model, Lingui-babbler.  Instead of showwing you're own
>>ingorance.

>>Besides, no one has shown yet how a complete language could come from 
>> a dead gaggle of GRUNTS.

>>see ya'

>>The Bible says "Babelism", not Godless Linguistics

>>In the beginning was the WORD,
>>and the WORD was with God,
>>and the WORD was God.

>Carl, you're an idiot.  It has been explained to you over and over 
that >alinguigenesis is not a necessary part of Linguistic theory.

>Milo

No, Milo.  Carl's right!  Linguistics paints a picture of languages 
increasing in complexity over time.  But the second law of 
thermodynamics says that the universe must move toward INCREASING 
ENTROPY, which means that languages should become LESS complex over 
time, not more.  Thus the Linguisticist THEORY of language origins is 
FALSIFIED.

English did not develop from any earlier tongue.  It was created 
complete and perfect by God at the tower of Babel.

Join the crusade!  English teachers should be required to include 
Babelism in their curriculum whenever the origins on our sacred 
language is discussed.  It's the American way!

Thanks,

*****************
Visit a Classroom
*****************


From: 2DAVIS@msn.com (Gail Davis)
Subject: Godless Linguistics!
Date: 26 Dec 96 06:42:56 -0800
Message-ID: <00002182+00014ff8@msn.com>
Newsgroups: talk.origins

TFarnon (tfarnon@aol.com) writes:

(No attribution given) writes:
>>>Here, here! Proof of the fact of divine creation of the English language
>is 
>the total lack of any transitional languages. Dutch and German are not 
>transitional languages but completely seperate "species" in themselves.
>Sure, 
>evolutionists will point to Anglo-Saxon texts as transitional but even 
>assuming that they are true ancestors to modern English (which I am not 
>willing to grant being a 'young earth' linguistic creationist), there is
>no 
>evidence.<<

>Guess somebody never lived in Germany close to Holland and Belgium...I
>still can barely tell Dutch, Flemish, and the Plattdeutsch I learned as a
>child apart.  But then, I suppose none of those languages are
>related...And, I suppose when I took Old Norse and Old English the reason
>I never had to study was because some god blessed me, and not that my
>knowledge of English and German, two related languages, allowed me to
>"wing it" on a regular basis...I suppose I'd better not mention that my
>Latin classes were what made learning Russian grammar easy (same sounds,
>differently shaped letters)...

Yes, there are similar sounds and structures in various languages.  
This only PROVES that they all had the same author: God!

What you are forgetting, here, is that, according to the Godless 
Linguisticist THEORY, languages must change over time through a 
random sequence of improper useage and mispronunciation.  According 
to this THEORY, some of these mispronunciations will have a selective 
advantage for the user, increasing his likelihood of attaining 
communication, thereby being passed on to subsequent generations.  
BUT THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!  It is obvious that mispronunciation and 
improper useage can only serve to HINDER communication!  Therefore, 
it is impossible that such could provide a selective advantage for 
the user.  Godless linguistics is a RELIGION.

It takes A LOT MORE FAITH to believe in godless linguistics than to 
cling to. . . uh, I mean believe, that God in his divine and absolute 
love and mercy created English and all other languages to prevent 
people from working together to build a tower that could reach unto 
Heaven.

Thanks,

*********************
Visit a Classroom
*********************


Further explication of the Godless Linguistic Conspiracy and how it affects our schools.

Newsgroups: talk.origins
From: chris@eso.mc.xerox.com (Chris Heiny)
Organization: University of Ediacara
Subject: Re: Paul Myers buries his head in the sand

In article <335b0e29.5394428@nntp.ix.netcom.com>, matts2@ix.netcom.com (Matt Silberstein) writes:
>In talk.origins, on thread _Re: Paul Myers buries his head in the
>sand_, Sherilyn 
 wrote:
>
>>In article <33577948.1033566@nntp.ix.netcom.com>, Matt Silberstein
>>
 writes
>>>In talk.origins, on thread _Re: Paul Myers buries his head in the
>>>sand_, nyikos@math.scarolina.edu (Peter Nyikos) wrote:
>>>
>>[megasnip]
>>>
>>>>And Sherilyn may be surprised to learn, by your new criterion,
>>>>just how many ad hominems 'e is guilty of.
>>
>>That pronoun has caught a nasty touch of apostrophism, see a doctor
>>immediately.
>
>Isn't apostrophism a theological problem?

No it is a real theory, one that Godless Linguists are afraid of and
thus trying to hush-up to keep their cushy jobs as proofreaders and
typesetters.  From the start of our public education we are INDOCTRINATED
in our public schools with Godless Linguistics and Orthographic Spelling!

For years heathen Linguists have attempted to explain away the sudden
appearance of things like colons and doublequotes within the written
record, even going so far as to cobble up the Theory of Equilibrated
Punctuation to explain why things like ( and [ always have a matching
) or ].  They claim the semi-colon is a "transitional form" between a
comma and a colon (renaming the colon as a "full-colon" to emphasize this
so-called theory) when they really know it is simply a period and a comma
doing it missionary style (Linguists are so sexually repressed).  But has
any one of them ever seen a lower case 'l' mutate into an upper case
'P'?  No, of course not - what could would a half formed 'P' be?  Or
worse, what about "V" mutating into "W" - half a W looks like a backwards
N, no one would be able to read that and it would die out immediately.
Even if it did make the jump all at once, where would the readers to
read it come from, huh?  And what about writers: "Whups - look at this
new letter that just happened!"  No, it's just too silly for anyone
with an open mind to believe.

I mean, they can't even explain why the period is always at the >end<
of the sentence, and not in the middle somewhere (talk about missing
transitionals!) - they always claim that they can produce such a
sentence in the lab, but has such a one ever been seen in a scientific
journal?  Ha!

Apostrophism is the ONLY LOGICAL EXPLANATION for the typographical
record as we know it.  While it's too complicated to explain here,
let me assure you that Top Scientists have verified Apostrophism
by hurling basketballs into racks of linotype.  And yet the so-called
'peer-reviewed' journals have not published any of their papers!

We here at the Institute for Catastrophic 'Riting have the answers!
We know where the letters go when you make a contraction like "can't"
from "cannot" (there's another missing transitional from you - anyone
ever see a "can'ot" or a "cann't"?  Of cours'not).  Read our
newsgroup alt.apostrophism for the real, uncensored story (which you
certainly won't get if the robomoderation of t.o passes preventing us
from spamming the TRUTH over all of Usenet).

Remember, Splifferd the @ says: A Mind Is A Terrble Thing To Baste -
It Takes Forever And The Oven Is Always Hard To Clean Afterwards.

-- 
Christopher Heiny        Professor of Bizarre Theories
University of Ediacara   Offther-Hocking Chair of Lunar Influences
chris@eso.mc.xerox.com


Last updated by Christopher Heiny - Wed Dec 17 16:16:56 1997


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: crevolist
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1 posted on 12/10/2001 6:54:18 AM PST by Junior
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To: *crevo_list
Bump.
2 posted on 12/10/2001 6:55:01 AM PST by Junior
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To: Junior
LOLOL!
3 posted on 12/10/2001 6:59:38 AM PST by Lurking Libertarian
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To: Junior
Obviously, the first language must have a designer: God.

And obviously the first language just popped up, it didn't develop slowly. And the reason new words come up is because god isn't perfect and didn't make a good enough language at first. "word is born".

Linguistics paints a picture of languages increasing in complexity over time. But the second law of thermodynamics says that the universe must move toward INCREASING ENTROPY, which means that languages should become LESS complex over time, not more. Thus the Linguisticist THEORY of language origins is FALSIFIED.

Isn't increasing entropy => more complex languages, ie, exactly the opposite? oh well.

4 posted on 12/10/2001 7:22:37 AM PST by gfactor
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To: Junior
>>Sorry. The word "woodpecker" is simply far to complex to develop
>>naturaly, as has been PROVED to you many times before.
>>Learn the model, Lingui-babbler. Instead of showwing you're own
>>ingorance.

>>Besides, no one has shown yet how a complete language could come from
>> a dead gaggle of GRUNTS.


I must say, this is a perfect parody of 'karl' who constantly harps on about "Evo-babblers" never being able to prove that we all came from a "dead puddle of GUE!" (even after being told several thousand times that the correct spelling is "goo" and that evolution makes no such claims).

Rather amusing. Not a logical argument (it's simply argument by ridicule), but it is an effective and accurate satire of many evolution debates I've seen on USENET.
5 posted on 12/10/2001 7:29:23 AM PST by Dimensio
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To: Junior
Imagine the grief this author must have gone through as a kid with a name like that?
6 posted on 12/10/2001 7:32:56 AM PST by jmc813
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To: Junior
But the second law of thermodynamics says that the universe must move toward INCREASING ENTROPY, which means that languages should become LESS complex over time, not more. Thus the Linguisticist THEORY of language origins is FALSIFIED.

This kind of grotesque misunderstanding and misuse of thermodynamics by creationists is really irritating. It is almost like this person is being intentionally stupid. First, higher system complexity generally equals higher entropy (though this isn't even a direct relationship), all other things being equal, so the author doesn't even understand the terms. Second, total entropy increases in any CLOSED system. Note that this is why increased complexity in organisms on earth does not violate the same rule; huge amounts of energy are expended (from the sun, etc) to create relatively tiny decreases in entropy and fortunately we have lots of energy to waste. Even the act of constructing concepts within your brain (an entropy reducing function) actually generates 10^8 more entropy than is reduced when you take everything into account. The only way the 2nd law of thermodynamics is ever "violated" is when people confuse an open system with a closed one.

7 posted on 12/10/2001 7:46:36 AM PST by tortoise
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To: tortoise
This kind of grotesque misunderstanding and misuse of thermodynamics by creationists is really irritating. It is almost like this person is being intentionally stupid.

BINGO! It's a parody of stupid creationist arguments written by an evolutionist.

8 posted on 12/10/2001 8:06:05 AM PST by John H K
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To: John H K
BINGO! It's a parody of stupid creationist arguments written by an evolutionist.

And if you've ever read talk.origins you would know that the parody arguments are based on the arguments of real posters there. The "Dead gaggle of GRUNTS" line was satirizing a loon named "karl" (who used some distorted images of woodpecker anatomy to "prove" creationism somehow) and the line about Splifford was parodying a proponent of Catastrophism named Ted.
9 posted on 12/10/2001 8:12:02 AM PST by Dimensio
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To: Junior
Clearly, language is the result of intelligent design. ;-)
10 posted on 12/10/2001 8:19:52 AM PST by FormerLib
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To: Dimensio
AKA medved here on FR.
11 posted on 12/10/2001 8:24:33 AM PST by BMCDA
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To: Dimensio
AKA medved here on FR.
12 posted on 12/10/2001 8:25:24 AM PST by BMCDA
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To: FormerLib
Clearly, language is the result of intelligent design.

Well, that rules out English as a language. I cannot believe anyone who understands English could consider it "intelligently designed."

13 posted on 12/10/2001 8:26:03 AM PST by Gumlegs
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To: BMCDA
D'oh! I hate double posts!
14 posted on 12/10/2001 8:26:26 AM PST by BMCDA
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To: Junior
Damn those godless, cunning linguists.
15 posted on 12/10/2001 8:34:34 AM PST by Tauzero
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To: Junior
Are you making the case that the development of language is analogious to the development of genetic code?
16 posted on 12/10/2001 8:38:22 AM PST by Tribune7
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To: Junior
Bump
17 posted on 12/10/2001 8:46:22 AM PST by LuvItOrLeaveIt
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To: Dimensio
I read talk.origins quite a bit but haven't in the last year or so. I'm familiar with Ted, though.

Just interesting that someone seemed to have been fished in. Though, if the explanatory material had been removed, and the e-mails presented here as an article, I'm fairly convinced you would have fished in some creationists who would have agreed with it.

18 posted on 12/10/2001 9:00:34 AM PST by John H K
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To: John H K
I read talk.origins quite a bit but haven't in the last year or so. I'm familiar with Ted, though.

I only lurk around every now and then -- I've not enough scientific knowledge or background to provide much in terms of support, but the creationist arguments tend to be so bad that even I can tear them apart from a logic aspect.
karl has been MIA for some time, dunno about Ted. Ed Conrad is back, as is John McCoy (aka Nameless) who is championing Ron Wyatt's chariot wheels.
19 posted on 12/10/2001 9:07:31 AM PST by Dimensio
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To: Dimensio
If you want to know about Ted, use the search function. Type in "from: medved." You'll find thousands of posts ... seven or eight of them different.
20 posted on 12/10/2001 9:18:14 AM PST by Gumlegs
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