Posted on 12/04/2001 7:13:41 AM PST by toenail
As for being parents, one of my friends is trying to have children and another is pregnant with her fourth. The one with children is a wonderful mother and friend. Both my friends are Christians and I'm sure it is by God's grace and forgiveness that they are able to deal with the grief.
Yeah I was surprised-- I was watching "Boston Public" on Fox, just a stupid public school drama, and one of the student characters had an abortion, despite the teachers advising her not to... Afterwards she was crushed and despondent about her decision. That surprised me that they would write that in.
My other friend, the one trying to have a baby, is a friend I've known for many years. She really took it hard. Every year on the anniversary of her baby's due date, she would loose it. She was a mess. God has done a lot in her life and she's doing much better. She recently got married and is hoping for a baby now.
I don't know how anyone can overcome this without God.
Have you found that mothers struggle with their parenting?
Yes, very much so. I can’t explain it or don’t understand it, but this is common. Also many, many times, they have trouble with infertility (which COULD be psychosomatic. Emphasis on “could”). They see not being able to get pregnant as punishment from God, since they killed the first baby he tried to give them.
What could I tell my sister counseling would be like if she decided to go to one?
From my experience, everyone present has had an abortion, therefore, they are non-judgmental, and they are an understanding, sweet group of women in great pain. So there is no debating or cat fights. LOL Just very sweet (suffering) women who need to learn how to forgive themselves.
How long does counseling go on for? Any help you can give will be helpful
Our program usually takes 6 weeks or more. You are provided a work book and you do the chapters week by week. I can’t really explain it, but basically the Holy Spirit takes over and heals your heart. What I like about it is it’s not self-help. By reading the scriptures, you begin to see God in a whole new light and come to accept his grace. If you can’t forgive yourself, then you are rejecting God’s forgiveness at a certain level. By placing yourself in a God like position to forgive or not forgive oneself, etc. Sorry to get religious on everyone. This is the only counseling I have had experience with. If she should decide to get help for her grief, you might want to STRONGLY encourage her to go to a pro life organization or a minister. If she should go to a secular Psychologist, they probably won’t offer much comfort, but say something like, “Well, be glad you live in a country where you could get a SAFE abortion”. Ugh!! (Heard that MANY times).
I hope I don’t come across as a know it all knew poster. Seems like there are several here with good advice and knowledge. This is just a very important issue to me. I have always been pro-life, wanting all babies born alive. But it wasn’t until I started working with post-abortion grief that I became “Fiercely pro-life”. I personally feel two things die that day. The baby and a piece of the mothers soul. I’m in this for the long haul…for babies AND their mothers. This gets my goat every time I see this issue brought up. Abortion clinics never tell you, “Now you are probably going to become very self-destructive after you do this. Your life will be changed forever, and you will probably have great difficulty forgiving yourself, have trouble forming close relationships, specifically your husband, have trouble loving yourself, loving the children you do allow to be born (if you are even able to get pregnant). Are you sure you want to do this?” Ugh! OK, blood pressure rising….need to sign off.
I apologize for my long winded posts. LOL This is my strongest passion and I get so MAD!!.
Think about this - if they acknowledge post-abortion stress, they would have to acknowledge that on some level it affects people negatively. Pretty soon people would be asking them why it affects people negatively if it is such an ok thing to do. What a slippery slope for them. Seems much more cost conducive for them to just ignore any possible psychological effects the way they ignore the physical ones, such as the problems with RU486 and the possible connections between breast cancer and abortion.
Sadly, most of this with my acquaintances has happened when they were young women, and as they only had reflected on it later. As for my friends, they are what I call "Casualties of the Sexual Revolution".
Please, don't apologize. Thanks for your insight--and welcome aboard!
Now, I better get to work!!!!!!! I'm learning new software that is driving me crazy! </whine>
For example, they rationalize that other people are secretly even more evil, or that 'hypocrisy' or 'judgementalism' or 'intolerance' are far greater evils than those listed in the Ten Commandments. Chris Matthews let the cat out of the bag recently when he advocated a third term for Bill Clinton, arguing that people like having a president who's 'just like them.'
In the case of a post-abortion trauma woman, maybe it's something as simple as refusing to go out on dates with nice guys, always magnifying minor attributes into major flaws, while eagerly going out on dates with rotten guys, always minimizing flaws that are glaringly obvious to everyone else.
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