Posted on 11/28/2001 10:26:35 AM PST by Cobra Man
CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows,forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are an eleventh the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you're not sure where they are. You'll look for them tomorrow.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
A TALIBAN ORGANIZATION: You have two cows. You load them up with explosives and herd them onto your neighbor's property
More like this ...
A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows,forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and spend it on a research commission that looks into ways of reducing the cow surplus. After paying the commission's salaries, expense accounts, and miscellaneous expenses, the commission determines that a permanent cabinet level post be created called the Department of Bovine Surplus.
To cover the cost of the newly-created Department of B.S., the congress increases taxes, forcing you to sell the other cow. The government buys the two cows from private industry for ten dollars a piece - twice what you sold them for. The government then stores the cows in a warehouse in New Jersey.
You have two chickens. Your neighbor has none ...
A REPUBLICAN - You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull and build a herd of cows. You hire your neighbors so they have jobs and can afford to buy two cows some day.
Lets get it right!
More like; you are drafted and sent to invade the neighboring country. Your wife milks the cows, the government takes the milk for the war effort, and gives her a medal for her contribution to the Fatherland.
I think I found a picture of the Socialist they refer to. (Socialism is beginning to look up!:)
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