Vanity:MY DAD WAS PUT IN THE HOME TODAY. ALZHIEMERS DISEASE. EARLIER THAN ANTICIPATED

self ^ | 10/19/01 | RaceBannon

[SoDak]

It's hard. Prayers are with you.

[Exigence]

You and all of your family, especially your dad, certainly have my prayers. I consider it a privilege to be able to pray for the needs of other Freepers. Thanks for trusting us to do so.

[Jim Robinson]

Very sorry to hear this. We will be praying for you, your mom and dad and family.

[pubmom]

Prayers being sent for your family.

[Faith]

I will pray for you, your mother, your father and your sisters. It sounds like your parents raised loving, caring children. I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling. May God comfort all of you.

[LeeMcCoy]

"May there be only one set of footprints in the sands of your life and your mother's during the days ahead. May God bless all of you as you go through this difficult time."

Prayers for you and your family...

[mombonn]

I'll be praying for your Dad, and your family, when I pray for mine. He has lived with us for the past year due to his dementia. It isn't easy, but it's right. The day will come when we will no longer be able to care for him either.

Then, it will be my time to turn to you for prayer. For now, however, MANY will be bringing your family before the Lord.

[Miss Marple]

Prayers are being offered for your mother, and for you and the rest of your family.

This is a hard decision, especially because your mother probably told herself she could take care of him herself, avoiding a nursing home. She is probably feeling undeserved guilt, so keep an eye on her.

Alzheimer's patients, after an initial adjustment, usually do well with an established routine, something nursing homes are better able to provide. Set up regular times for visits with your sisters, and check with the home frequently to see if there is anything he responds positively to.

I know this is hard. May God bring all of you comfort in the days ahead.

[Joe 6-pack]

My prayers are with you and your family.

[noexcuses]

God Bless you and your family.

[beowolf]

Truely sorry to hear this, Race. May G_D give you and your family peace.

Regards,

[AppyPappy]

Depending on the home, he may get better care. They make sure he stays on his medication. The new meds can help greatly.

[strela]

We're fixers by nature. There's no fix.

That is arguably the best distillation of the conundrum of having aging parents that I've yet seen in the written word. Applause.

I had a little chill when I read Race's initial post in this thread, because it matched my grandmother's situation in so many ways. She had a variety of health problems, the worst of which was the beginning stages of Alzheimer's (although not diagnosed as such at the time). My mother, bless her stubborn soul, initially wasn't going to let her mother be put into a nursing home, electing instead to let her live with us at home. The folly (in hindsight) of this decision was brought home to all of us when my brother and I (14 and 9 years old at the time) came home from school one day to find granny lying in the middle of the living room in agony after falling and breaking her leg and hip. We found out later that Mom's car had blown a heater hose on the way home from the grocery store, stranding her in the next town. My brother and I panicked, being physically unable to lift her or even help her sit up (she was over 350 pounds due to diabetes and a glandular disorder). We ended up calling a neighbor, who was clear-minded enough to call an ambulance.

After getting the opinion of two more doctors the next day, Mom finally saw that there was no option other than to put granny into a nursing home in the area. Granny's condition improved almost immediately - she received her medication at the proper times, the facility was clean and didn't smell like a hospital or a urinal, and the people who worked there really seemed to care for their patients. Although Granny passed away there 2 years later, she was well cared for and well-treated during her stay.

In hindsight, I feel that there was no alternative for my grandmother, that we were extremely fortunate to find a quality facility for her, and that my parents truly did their best to "Honor thy mother and father."

Race, you are in my thoughts and prayers because I have trod the same road you are traveling, and it is not a pleasant or easy journey. You did the right thing.

[ContraryMary]

May God bless you and your family. I watched a friend's father die from Alzheimer's, and I know what my friend and her family went through. My prayers for your mother who is a heroic woman.

[SunnyUsa]

"Please pray for my mom. Thanks."

So sorry to hear about your father and how difficult this is for your family.

It was good for you to reach out to other freepers, because you know you are not alone here and you and your family are in my prayers.

May God give you all the strength to get through this difficult change for your family.

[McGavin999]

You, your mom and dad, and your entire family have my prayers Race. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Don't give up on your dad, and don't let your mom give up either. He needs you all more now than ever, and now your mom will be better able to help him and give him the love that he needs. Some of the burden will be lifted from her shoulders and she'll have the strength to really be there for him.

May God grant you all comfort.

[Tijeras_Slim]

I've had relatives and friends who had AD. I found the best thing was to treat them with the same respect and courtesy they deserved before, it keeps me sane and I think on some level, they know. Your family and you are in my thoughts. Be well.

[Physicist]

Please accept my heartfelt sympathy. I don't need to tell a man like you to take strength.

I feel as if you and your family are shouldering part of the burden placed on President Reagan. It's silly; I know it doesn't work that way, but that's how it "feels" to me.

[oldngray]

So sorry to hear of this. Living in a retirement community I know how difficult it is to see these loved ones being cared for outside the home. But, I am thoroughly convinced that it is best for all concerned. During my quiet time with the Lord each day, as I think of those who are not well, I'll try to remember your dad, mom, you and the rest of your loved ones.