Posted on 08/27/2003 1:54:34 PM PDT by Akron Al
You can tell this is a dead time, newswise, in the Catholic Church. A 48-hour issue is dragging itself out for who know's how long.
Polycarp, what do you have to say about all this?
"Hey, is this an early birth present for me?" "No," says the Mrs. "I'm so stressed out by the baby and the older kids, the Register recommended it. God help me." Hmmm. The Register. OK, at least it not a heap of new age or dissenter crap by Eugene Kennedy or Gary Wills. That's a relief. So she opens up the envelope and pulls it out.
What name is there in big letters on the top?
GREGORY POPCHAK
The title, GOD HELP ME
God help me...
Second Parenting Fair Planned
The second annual Catholic Parenting Fair will be held on Saturday, September
20, 2003 from 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. The Fair will be held at LaSalle High School
(11199 SE Fuller Road) in Milwaukie. Gregory Popcak will be the Keynote speaker. He
is a nationally recognized psychotherapist and author of five books on marriage and
family life issues. Mr. Popcak will spend the morning speaking about topics of parenting
with grace and creating an exceptional marriage while raising children.
During the afternoon sessions from 1:00 - 3:00 p.m., local educators will be
presenting on a variety of parenting topics. This year's topics include: Scripture,
Spirituality and Family Life; Surviving (and even benefiting from) the Stress in Our Lives;
Saving Sex for Marriage --- How to talk to your Teen; Rediscovering Playtime with Your
Children; Stepfamilies: Pitfalls and Possibilities; and Single Parenting: Going It Alone.
There will also be a variety of pro-family organizations in attendance that will
have educational materials displayed.
Gregory K. Popcak (pronounced POP-chak) is a nationally recognized
psychotherapist, speaker, and author of five books on marriage and family issues. As
founder and director of the Pastoral Solutions Institute, he provides a nationwide
telephone counseling service to help Christians apply their faith to tough marriage,
family, and personal problems. He received a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology
and a Bachelor of Arts degree in Theology from the Franciscan University of
Steubenville and a Masters in Social Work (clinical specialization) from the University of
Pittsburgh. In addition to his expertise in several models of marriage and family
therapy, he works extensively with individuals who suffer from depression, anxiety, and
other stress related problems as well as those adults who are recovering from the
trauma of childhood abuse.
The cost of the Parenting Fair is $15.00 per person and includes the morning
Keynote session, two afternoon sessions and a boxed lunch.
I think it is clearly imprudent to advise siblings to chart their sisters'/mothers' cycles, even strange to suggest it (I'm being cautious in my terminology, obviously.)
Beyond that, I wish both sides would stand down so this pathetic feud could end. Those parodying Free Republic must realize they are driving their readers to this website, even if that is contrary to their intent.
Otherwise, I'll just re-post my usual comment, in case some new Catholic lurkers have been driven here by the Popcak defenders. (If these concepts are taught first and foremost in NFP, it is not likely to become "cultish" as the poster of this thread describes NFP supporters):
We teach there are 4 main reasons for having recourse to NFP.
1--Physical/ mental health---a pregnancy could kill you or so physically impair you as to prevent your fulfillment of your duties in your state in life---NOT because of a widening wasteline or drooping skin! Or psychological health, i.e., mom would literally have a nervous breakdown if she became pregnant---not because she "just couldn't stand being home with the little kids all day without the personal fulfillment of her professional job..."
2--Financial constraints---your child will starve if you have another. Wanting a bigger house or designer SUV just does not cut it!
3--work on the mission fields by one or both spouses that would proclude having children temporarily
4--active persecution or war---i.e., you or your child likely to die by coercive abortion, in concentration camp, in acts of war, etc.
Clearly we say these reasons must be SERIOUS, not trivial. Only the couple and their confessor can truly decide what truly constitutes grave reason.
We've had couples sit through my talk on this subject and literally say, "Gee, we thought we were being good Catholics just for deciding to use NFP. Now we realize we don't even have grounds for recourse to NFP," then tell us a month or two later they're pregnant.
NFP vs Contraception
Spacing children may be a desirable goal that does not violate God's laws in certain serious situations such as those outlined above. But the means of achieving the goal differ.
One is intrinsically evil (abortion, abortifacient contraception, barrier methods, sterilization) while one is morally neutral (Natural Family Planning.
In one, an act is performed (sex) but its natural outcome is artificially foiled.
In the other, no act is performed (simple abstinence during fertile times) so there IS no act, therefore the practice is morally neutral.
It is then the intention of using NFP that constitutes its relative moral licitness or illicitness.
If NFP is used in a selfish manner, it too can be sinful.
If it is used only in grave circumstances, it is not sinful.
The difference is real.
Dieting (decreasing caloric intake, the "act" of NOT eating) is a moral and responsible means of losing weight to maintain the body's health.
Bulimia (the ACT of eating, them vomiting) is rightly called an eating DISORDER.
An ACT is performed (eating in this case) and its natural outcome (nutrition) is foiled by expelling the food from the body.
Likewise contraception is a disorder. An ACT is performed (sex) and its natural outcome (procreation) is foiled by expelling the sperm or egg or both (abortifacient contraceptives) from the body.
Contraception is to NFP what Bulimia is to dieting.
But just as dieting can be misused (anorexia) so too can NFP be misused in a sinful manner.
Finally, regarding infertility, if the sterility of the couple is through no act or conscious fault of their own, their marital relations cannot possibly be immoral, since it is not their intent to be sterile.
Yet many the Church married, who were thought for decades to be sterile, have indeed borne children in their later years. So it would be awefully presumptuous of any Church to disallow an "infertile" couple to marry.
I love good humor.
But this is just vicious.
On the one hand, one point in a 200 page book has been blown way out of proportion in the author's zeal to promote a Godly alternative to the culture of death contraceptive mentality.
Those criticizing and blowing out of proportion this one (obviously imprudent!) suggestion in this book were probably the same ones who lambasted critics of Michael Rose's "Goodbye, Good Men" who took tiny pieces of Rose's book that appeared erroneous and blew them completely out of proportion.
On the other hand, Popcak should just admit that section was imprudent.
And his defenders should be ashamed of themselves for their childish lampooning of what is valid criticism. His remarks and these further defenses make NFP supporters look cultish, just as this thread says. And as an NFP instructor, I resent that immensely.
Its hard enough to get society to understand and embrace NFP as a bridge out of the culture of death contraceptive mentality and into Abandonment to Divine Providence. But when the NFP supporters themselves go to such lengths as these, NFP loses credibility among both the culture at large and among orthodox Catholics!
NFP is NOT an end, it is NOT a way of life! It is to be the exception, under grave circumstances, to a Catholic family life of being open to LIFE! It is a bridge or ladder out of the contraceptive mentality and a tool to be used in grave circumstances which make complete openness to life imprudent.
This idea of instilling this NFP obsession even to our children, belies a misunderstanding of the proper role of NFP in marital life. It is to be an exception, not the rule. It is not to ever be a lifelong way of life!
The extreme trads who reject NFP out of hand are wrong. It is morally licit in certain grave circumstances.
Likewise, those who ardently promote NFP as a way of life, even forcing it upon their children in an impudent manner, and failing to emphasize first and foremost that NFP is only to be used for grave reasons, are also wrong.
Both sides here are guilty.
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