Oh Des! Nothing could be farther from the truth. She views the teachings of the church as fantasy. This from a child raised in a catholic home and educated in catholic schools. A year ago, she would have eagerly embraced the sacrament.
As for the 10 and 12 year olds, I was in 6th grade when I made my Confirmation (granted that was a long time ago, in antiquity). The bishop came once every two years to confirm the 6th and 7th grade classes., I was 10 when I made my confirmation and I remember that day as though it were yesterday. We processed into the church to take our places. My greatest fear was that the bishop would slap us hard across the face. In his address to the confirmandi, he called us Soldiers of Christ. That message struck home like a laser beam (before it was ever invented).
During my teen years, I abandoned the faith, like my daughter ...... and consider it perfectly normal. Once my life settled down in the post 20 years, my faith returned, along with the memories of my confirmation. Those 7 gifts of the Holy Spirit are critical in our lives. Actually the church places Confirmation in between Baptism and First Eucharist. It is supposed to be administered any time after the age of awareness - in other words, any time after age 7.
I apologize but at times I feel like an old dinosaur. Having been raised in the pre VCII church when nuns were truly religious and priests were anything but gay. My daughter attended mass beginning the week she was born. At age 3, she would bring little gifts to the statue of the BVM outside the church. These 16+ teen years are a painful burden to a mother who loves her daughter with all her heart. Thank you, Colleen, for the rosary. We certainly need it.
At 16 she was fine and now at 17 she views the teachings of the Church as fantasy? You are almost lucky, I am thinking. I'll wager most kids abandon ship way before that. But if she knew the Truth last year and has abandoned it this year, it sounds like just plain old rebellion. She probably says whatever it is that she knows will hurt you the most.
You are the one who directed me to that fantastic shroud book... I know you have it in your house and I know she's seen it. No matter what, she knows that Jesus Christ was born and lived and was crucified and rose from the dead. Sounds like maybe the teachings of Catholicism (as we know them, not as they are taught and not taught in a lot of the parishes) are cramping her lifestyle?
Once I met my husband (as a teenager), off came the Immaculate Conception medal and the teachings of the Church went out the window. Some things were hard to hear for me.