Posted on 10/23/2025 1:10:36 PM PDT by ebb tide
October 23rd 2025
Dear Aldo Maria,
It seems that after reading the text of the Summary Document of the Synodal Path of the Churches in Italy, the ineffable World Health Organization has discovered the existence of a new terrifying epidemic triggered by the terrifying disease called syndroma inclusivitatis viralis, also generally known as Charles V syndrome or todos (todos todos) caballeros syndrome.
It's an insidious syndrome, but luckily, a swab isn't needed to identify it. It primarily affects ecclesial ambientes and manifests itself not by a fever, a cough, or a sore throat, but by a sudden aversion to words like "sin," "truth," "tradition," and “non-negotiable principles." Patients with inclusivitis tend to replace these words with more welcoming terms: fragility, journey, diversity, dialogue, listening, pastoral care, and the Spirit of the Age.
The diagnosis is quite simple: the victim shows a obsessive need “not to judge” and in the most severe cases repeats the word “inclusion” like a mantra, using it as a intercalation or a filler word every time they want to express a concept - and even more so if they have no concept to express.
Regular reading of the Gospel and St. Pauls’s letters is a sure cure for “inclusivitus”
The decisive test to determine whether the patient is affected by this terrible affliction is to remind them that the Gospel also speaks of sin and conversion and that Jesus is the only source of salvation: they react immediately with displeasure. At best they change the subject, at worst they accuse you of rigidity and backwardness.
It is still not quite clear how this virus spreads: the most respected specialists in this field, however, are banking on “liturgical and synodal transmission” (mainly the latter!) given that the ailment is predominantly present and aggressive in Seminaries, Pastoral Assemblies, and Diocesan and Synodal Commissions.
Inclusivitus appears to surface from prolonged contact with the language of NGOs and UN agencies. Most, however, believe these are uncontrolled mutations of the Post-Conciliar Virus that have triggered an irreversible rift with the past. The most likely cause remains the very old one: the temptation to please the world more than God.
At present, no vaccine exists for this affliction, but the therapies that appear most effective include the reading of the Gospel and the letters of St. Paul (even the incommodious parts), repeated cycles of Thomistic logic, and above all, absolute abstinence from synodal assemblies.
Reading in cycles this work by St. Thomas Aquinas is also recommended to cure this grave condition
If left untreated, inclusivitis leads to serious complications: the patient confuses the Church with an NGO, sin with fragility, and mercy with indulgence. In many priests, it also causes a loss of a sense of the ridiculous and strange phenomena occur, such as; rainbow Nativity scenes, eco-friendly Masses, and Syncretistic ceremonies.
There is however still hope: many who were cured of this ailment said that the disease went into remission and even disappeared altogether after reading the sentence: “But let your speech be yea, yea: no, no.” Others said that instant healing occurred after discovering that the Truth cannot be updated by majority vote. It [the Truth] remains the Truth despite the approval of the Synodal Committee.
Most of all there is no [real] inclusion without the truth.
Cordially yours,
Vincenzo Rizza
It is still not quite clear how this virus spreads: the most respected specialists in this field, however, are banking on “liturgical and synodal transmission” (mainly the latter!) given that the ailment is predominantly present and aggressive in Seminaries, Pastoral Assemblies, and Diocesan and Synodal Commissions.
Ping
The Right Damnable Administrator Screwtape has proposed severe penalties for anyone who would recommend actually reading Gospel and St. Paul as a prophylactic against “modern views”.
“Inclusivitus” is a virus that’s infected not just the catholic church but especially the body politics, where it’s become its own religion.
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